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The Pill of Love
MDMA (Ecstasy) & Cannabis
Citation:   Some Guy. "The Pill of Love: An Experience with MDMA (Ecstasy) & Cannabis (exp66186)". Erowid.org. Apr 20, 2008. erowid.org/exp/66186

 
DOSE:
T+ 0:00
1 tablet oral MDMA (pill / tablet)
  T+ 0:00   smoked Cannabis (plant material)
  T+ 8:30 0.5 tablets oral MDMA (pill / tablet)
  T+ 9:00 0.5 tablets oral MDMA (pill / tablet)
  T+ 0:00   smoked Cannabis (plant material)
BODY WEIGHT: 74 kg
I'm a guy who likes new experiences a lot. This tendency made me curious about the world of the psychoactive substances since I had my first contact with alcohol by the age of 13. Since then, all I had courage enough to try was marijuana and some inhalants, and once did ecstasy on a rave party, but it was half a tablet, a really weak one, so I didn't feel anything significative, and it tasted more like a placebo.

Now I'm 20, and I felt like it was the time to have a real rave party experience, something transcedental and strong, something that could be classified as definitively different from everything else I had experienced before. So I bought the ticket to this giant open-air festival held next to my city, Rio de Janeiro, a 20-hours duration rave party with some of the best DJs in the world, and got with a friend 2 tablets of ecstasy.

By the week before the D-day, I was already pretty anxious. I couldn't imagine what would happen once I swallowed those 2 purple little pills, if it would be strong, crazy, a good or a bad trip. To make me feel even more nervous, I was going to meet with some friends from college at the party, but I had no idea of with whom I was going to spend the entire party duration, or if I would effectively encounter those friends. And I didn't have a clue if they would use any drugs, and the bigger chances were that they would be clean. So I was going to the unknown, and worse, only by myself, but it was exciting at the same time.

I did the homework, with a basic research on internet that gave me an idea of what to expect. I got a van with 10 friends to go to the party. It was about 3:30 AM. On our way to the party, while smoking a nice joint, a friend told me that it was a very strong pill called 'armani'. I got nervous. I was offered to exchange it for a weaker pill, but I decided keep my own and see what could happen. I entered the party by 6:00 AM, by the time the sun was beginning to rise. I didn't want to lose time, so I had a glass of beer and took one pill. And started to walk around, by myself. It was a typical Rio's day: dreadfully gorgeous, and the party was being held on a site located by the feet of some beautiful mountains.

By 6:20, more or less, I could start to feel something different. I was getting high. And I was thinking 'Cool, I wonder if it can get better'. Something like 20 minutes later, I was DEFINITIVELY getting high. I could feel this big energy going through my veins, and I wanted to smile more than anything. 'It's getting good!', all I could think. I was just walking around, maybe running sometimes, maybe dancing like crazy sometimes, fully dressed and with my backpack at this time. I was taking pictures of pretty unknown girls with my camera, showing them, talking, with a vibrant energy that I couldn't comprehend. I was shocked. I couldn't think of anything, I just wanted to enjoy it.

Around 7, I met with the girls from my college. To meet with a known face was something that gave me some kind of happyness that can't be described on words. I was just euphoric. I came running and jumped like an airplane landing on the grass with my belly. I took my t-shirt off cause it was dirty. I was hugging them and telling how happy I was. It was like a magical moment. The funny thing is that I have pictures of this moment, and it looks magical on the pictures to, I mean, it was objectively (if you have this word in english - sorry!) magical, maybe because of the energy that I was sending to the environment.

Moving on, I was dancing like crazy, talking like crazy, I was in love with everybody, everybody was in love with me, it was the most beautiful and happier day of my life and I couldn't stop enjoying it to the extreme for one second. I also realized that I was on the peak, finally. It's weird, because I'd think 'Nice, I'm high enough', but it doesn't stop going up, and every 5 minutes I was surprised, because I'd be higher than before. It's more like a very fast sensation pulling me up and up. After 1 hour, maybe 1 hour and 15 minutes, I reached what they call the 'plateau'.

I could notice that my friends were kind of worried, because, besides being crazily electric, I was sweating a lot, and my jaws. Ha, it was looking like 'Oh god, that guy took 258723 tablets.' I didn't care at all: it was nice those girls all worried, treating me so well, giving me water, cookies, nutella and love. But I couldn't hold myself and began to walk through the entire party, coming back something like every 15 minutes to the place where my friends had lay low to enjoy the festival, away from the crowds near the stage.

I did this probably from 7:15 to around 10:00 AM. The sun was getting hot, but I didn't care. It was amazing, I was in love with myself, the planet, the rest of the world. During this time, a lot of things happen. I kissed some random nice girls that I found around the site, and I don't even know how, I think I was very nice, very soft and very confident, but I wasn't like 'I wanna have sex', things just happened when I began to talk to them.

I smoked weed near the stage, where a circle of people saw me passing by, figured out that I was very high, called me around and offered me a joint. I was like 'These people are fantastic!!!!', cause I had never seen them before and now they gave me a joint just because I was so happy. Interestingly, I can't remember feeling the effects of the weed. I could feel the trance music going inside me, making my heart pump differently, I was part of it, I couldn't resist dancing as I was walking around.

I had the idea to buy a lollypop, and it was simply like heaven. I was just walking around, jumping around, dancing around, beginning conversations with strangers, with this big smile on my face, despite the fact of my jaws being fully contracted to its maximum. It's a rush of energy and empathy and love, of well-being feelings that is very well described by the name of this pill: ecstasy. And one important consideration: I was totally lucid. It wasn't like when I'm drunk or when I smoke weed and know that I'm likely to say shit. I knew I was fine, I knew what I was doing, I had the control of that amazing and powerful energy. My mouth was totally dry, but I couldn't drink huge amounts of water, I don't know why, after 4 swallows, my throat seemed to close, and I had to wait for a few moments to have some more.

Around 10:00 AM, things began to slow down, but it was still nice. It took around half an hour for the nicest part of the experience to go away. I wasn't so in love anymore. Actually, when the feeling of eternal joy was going away, I could feel it almost like there was a vein opened and my blood was going away. I could feel this wonderful thing getting lost, and there's nothing I could do. It tasted like 'I want more, shit.'

Around 10:30 AM, I could say that I was losing it, but despite those feelings of 'Oh no, don't go!!', I was calm because I had another pretty pill saved for the right time. At this time, I still had a great energy, my jaws were still tight, but the magic of the 'friendly universe' had gone almost completely. And after 11:00 AM, the energy part finally began to disappear, and by 12:30 PM or 1:00 PM, I was already normal, and my friends from college were gone.

Then I decided to have another experience. Around 2:30 PM, I met with a friend and his girlfriend, and we could talk for a while. Then I changed clothes, taking away my pants and using comfortable boardshorts that I brought. It was crazy hot, like 38 C, the sun was literally burning. I took half of the last tablet, and went to the chill out place, kind of far way, like almost a mile, up a hill facing the party, maybe even more. I was worried because I could either have a very strong effect with the full tablet (my stomach was empty), or a very weak effect (it was the second one, so thought about tolerance or something like that). Anyway, I decided to have half a tablet and wait up there.

It was exhaustive to get there, but looked like paradise: pool, calm sound (later they played pink floyd), comfortable mats with pillows on a nice shadow made by a big beautiful tent, with a terrific view to the hole action down at the pit. I met a couple of friends, he was sleeping, but she was just relaxing. A this time I could notice that I was beginning to feel the same effects, like that wild energy again, and it was great, but kind of soft (after all, I took it only like 20 minutes earlier). Then I took the other half, and the girl took one of her stock too, and we started to talk about everything.

Ok. The scenario was perfect as described earlier, and now I had this crazy wave inside me. And it got stronger, and stronger, and nice, and nicer, and I was feeling like floating. I wanted to get up and dance, even with the sound of the party coming from almost 1 mile away (it was still loud, though). I was pressuring her to go down there with me, and she was saying 'relax, relax', and I could relax! I felt like starting to make friendships with all the people around us on their mats too. Everything was incredibly beautiful again. My friend woke up, went for a hang-around and came back with a couple of friends, and the five of us smoked a joint while talking, and I was feeling like in heaven, even better than that. Again, I didn't feel much difference, so I can see how strong ecstasy is if compared to weed.

Around 4:30 PM we went down to the main party arena again, and met with a lot of other friends. I kept dancing a lot, walking around glad with my life and everything, resuming the same behavior of earlier in the morning. And around 5:00 PM it started to go away the same way the first time did, but now I was very tired of 12 plus hours of agitation, I had no more pills, and the day was ending. It was kind of depressing. I wanted cigarettes, but I didn't had any. Around 6:00 PM the energy effect was going away, and I think by 18:30 I was already 100%. My jaws were hurting a lot, and in fact I could feel them pressing until 9 PM. I left the party at 7 PM, but we had trouble, the van driver got late, and I only arrived home at 10 PM, totally exhausted.

Well, the next day I was absolutely sure I had some degree of neurointoxication. For sure some part of my brain had melt, or something equivalent in terms of damage, because I wasn't normal. I felt happy, but stupid, and the websites I was researching couldn't give me an accurate answer about if the dosage I took could cause permanent damage to my brain. But by the next day, I was already feeling normal. And amazed with the experience I just had. Oh god, what was it!

Well, it was pretty different from everything else, for sure. I wanted to do that again for sure, too. But these feelings made me worried with addiction, even in a low psychological level. I can say that is on a different degree from marijuana for sure. And it's completely lovely. To use only one word to descibre the whole day I spent in that wonderful party under the effect of ecstasy, it would have to be HAPPINESS (sorry if it's wrong, I'm not american!). The feeling of complete happiness, endless happiness, this powerful energy togheter with the euphoric love that I felt for myself, my friends, the girls, all the people in the world, and the world itself apart from human kind.

Exp Year: 2007ExpID: 66186
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Apr 20, 2008Views: 17,054
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MDMA (3) : General (1), Glowing Experiences (4), Hangover / Days After (46), First Times (2), Rave / Dance Event (18)

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