Citation: LucidStudies. "Everything or Nothing At All: An Experience with 5-MeO-DMT (exp66597)". Erowid.org. Nov 7, 2007. erowid.org/exp/66597
||(powder / crystals)
| T+ 1:00
||(powder / crystals)
Yesterday a friend and I began to test the powerfully hallucinogenic compound Five-Methoxy-DMT, of which I had obtained my first couple hundred milligrams in a sample by mail-order. It was in freebase form, a stark white powder with clear, shimmering highlights. The route of administration used was vaporization.
We started with a small inhalation each, sharing and splitting maybe 10mg of powder. Initial effects were felt, and they were not particularly subtle even at that dose. We sat, talked, and felt out the effects, the peak portion of which lasted only a few minutes. Within a half an hour we were back to normal and ready to follow up with a fuller dose. My description of the effects will cover this much more significant second portion.
A large pinch of powder was removed from the sample bag with a metal scoop. Around 30-45 milligrams to be split between us. This went into our smoking implement and sat atop a small, clear stain of melted powder already lurking at the bottom from the first hit. I warned my friend to be careful, but he was adamant: we were going to see the compound’s full power.
My friend operated the flame for me and fed me a large inhalation of vapor. Strangely, the smoke did not feel particularly threatening... it had a certain delicacy to it. I found it no harder to hold in than pot smoke… at least for the first few seconds. As I was withdrawing my lips from the glass, having acquired a full breath of the thin white smoke, he turned the implement around and there was plenty left for him to take a roughly equal portion. A tremendous field of energy was forming, my friend was falling further and further away into the distance.
Just as I began exhaling the smoke, a feeling of impending shock set in. Something had cut through to the core of my being and was grasping me by the heart. Time warped and I could not monitor how fast my heart was beating… but somewhere deep inside me it was pounding ferociously. I had to will myself to keep breathing normally, to push on and continue. My friend, who was extremely experienced with psychedelics, was having an altogether different journey. He rode the energy wave and stayed in control. He would later declare the experience to be “life affirming”.
As I lay on the ground, terrified, the feeling grasping me began to move dramatically in different directions. I became seized with feelings as if I had suddenly floated a thousand miles off to the left or right. The room was flowing with light and darkness, rushing like a tunnel from back to front. My friend tried to guide me through but it was hopeless. I was lost. I had no memory of anything for at least a minute. I tried to talk but I was angry and confused. When the energy peaked, I lost my ability for speech and made some sort of high-pitched purring noises.
Then it dropped off a bit. Covered in sweat, sputtering and sick, I returned to some level of cognizance. I took deep breaths and closed my eyes. I saw a field of vague patterns, flowing across a great empty void. I sensed ultimate darkness and emptiness filled with all the possibilities of the universe. An empty realization. I told my friend, 'It feels like 'Everything'... but nothing's there!' He responded, 'to even try to define it disgraces it.'
We caught our first 5-MeO-DMT experimentation session on tape. My terror after that apocalyptic second inhalation. My frustrated ranting and sputtering. My raw emotions, some mixture of ecstacy and terror. I created it so I could put the pieces back together afterwards, because I knew there would be gaps in my memory. It is an extremely emotional recording and will remain hidden.
After it was over, I could not decide if I had just experienced the ultimate hallucinogen, or if nothing had happened at all. I had been seized by so much power and yet something was missing. I will not explore this drug again for quite sometime. I was careless with the dosages and became rightfully scared. The pulse elevation and immediate physical response is extreme, maybe even dangerous. It is not something to be romanticized. But I must stand back in awe of the sheer power that 5-MeO-DMT unleashes. Few other things can even begin to compare.
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