DOSE:

1 cig.

smoked

Tobacco - Cigarettes

BODY WEIGHT:

180 lb

I always told myself I’d never smoke, but like everyone else, curiosity eventually got the best of me. I’ve smoked on and off for awhile, usually spreading out a pack over an entire month. I’ve had my fair share of good smokes, and I’ve had my fair share of bad smokes. Then there is the common experience, which has a few positives and just as many negatives.

Whether I enjoy a smoke or not doesn’t always entirely depend on what brand I’m smoking, and I think it’s mostly affected by the mood I’m in and where I’m at. My parents don’t know that I have been smoking, so there’s always been a bit of uneasiness when lighting up at home. I went a few months without touching a cigarette, and recently I had the urge to have a cigarette again.

I was never fond of the taste of menthols, but I was tempted to try them again since the smoke wasn’t as harsh. There isn’t exactly a large selection of “good” tasting cigarettes anyway, so it really came down to picking the lesser of two evils at this point. My friend was going to the gas station, so I gave him some money and he picked up a pack of Newports while he was there. I didn’t smoke them right then and there, but saved them for when I went home instead.

The next night, I was craving a smoke, and everyone in my house was already asleep. I found my lighter, grabbed the pack of cigarettes, and headed outside. It was freezing, but I was more concerned about having a smoke for the first time in a long time. I unwrapped the package, pulled out a cigarette, and lit up. The first puff was worse than I expected, and I had to stand there and get a few breaths of fresh air before continuing. I was getting used to it again, and from there it was going smoothly. Smoking a cigarette isn’t exactly a fantastic experience when it comes to the taste, but it was tolerable, and that was all that mattered. I breathed in the smoke, and felt the familiar dizziness come over me once again. It was dark and quiet out, which, in my opinion, is the best environment for a peaceful experience. I stayed outside for a few minutes, appreciating the nearly complete silence, with only the sound of the wind blowing. I was relaxed. I felt like I could think straight. Things that were bothering me still were bothering me, but after thinking on them for a few minutes, I was looking at them in a different light and they didn’t seem so bad.

The process of smoking the cigarette WAS peaceful. As soon as I finished it, I threw the butt to the ground and walked inside. As I walked inside, I noticed I was significantly more sensitive to light and sound. This has happened before, but it serves as a reminder to why I don’t smoke more than I do. I felt even dizzier than before, and I wanted to lean on something. I slowly stepped into my room, cautious not to make too much noise, because my footsteps seemed heavier (and louder) than ever. I turned on some music, hoping it would help me relax, but even on a low volume it made my head hurt a little and caused a wave of slight nausea to roll over me. I turned off the lights and the music, and sat in the quiet darkness for a few minutes until I felt normal again.

Sometimes, I don’t get the nausea, headache, or even the sensitivity to light and sound. Then there are other days where smoking feels a lot worse than it did this particular time. Altogether, the negatives outweigh the positives, and I wouldn’t recommend getting addicted to cigarettes. Whether I have a “good” smoke or not, I always feel like I want to shower and brush my teeth immediately afterwards. Making a habit out of it is quite expensive, and there are better things I can do with my money. While I can’t blame anyone for having a cigarette occasionally, I don'd need a cigarette to relax.

Exp Year: 2007	ExpID: 67248
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Sep 11, 2019	Views: 1,547
[ View PDF (to print) ] [ View LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Swap Dark/Light ]
Tobacco - Cigarettes (266) : General (1), Retrospective / Summary (11), Alone (16)