DOSE:

smoked

Salvia divinorum

(extract)

BODY WEIGHT:

210 lb

I actually had this experience a few months ago. I've decided to ATTEMPT to relate what I experienced in text.

Wife and I had just returned from the nearby head shop with some screens and some Salvia they just started selling. I had purchased the 2nd (possibly 3rd) strongest potency they carried. We had parked in our car port, and shut off the car. I loaded my pipe with the dark finely ground substance, probably about a teaspoon or so.

I leaned my car seat back and took one long, long hit. The salvia burned fast and felt strange going down. I remember holding my breath for 30 seconds as instructed before exhaling. I remember saying 'this is weird'. My head eased back, I could still hear sounds but they were muffled and very distant. As the drug began to take hold, it was like waking up from a dream.

Memory was more or less flushed from my mind. I had NO IDEA that I had just taken a drug, that I just went to the store, that I was sitting in my car. I was still technically myself, and could still recognize my wife (sort of), but had no real idea of who i was, where i was or what was going on. But everything still seemed eerily familiar, l felt as if I had dreamed this scenario countless times prior. Panic was not the word quite yet.

Movement was strange, sluggish. My 'wife' began to speak to me, and her voice was bright and positive. She seemed more to me an ambassador, a guide. She asked me to give her the pipe and I began to feel the nagging sensations of Deja Vu. I remember feeling hesitant, and a bit paranoid. I knew deep down that if I handed her the pipe (just like i always did those other thousand times before) that I'd forever remain trapped within that dream that had somehow crept into my 'reality'. Somehow I managed to hand her the pipe, and then things got weirder.

It seemed the more I moved the more control was lost. I tried to escape but movement was impossible. The only possible way I could move ANYTHING was to do exactly what I had always done, and what I was programmed to do. Between these movements I struggled to do something, everything differently.

When I tried to move, i could see and feel the way in which i was supposed to move. It was like an instructional ghost, the type of thing you see in training modes for certain video games. The movements just kept cycling in front of me so I could repeat them.

Then I died (I guess).

I was now in what can only be described as a hangar of some sort. It seemed vast and empty. I felt that THIS was what lied behind reality. This strange machine. I somewhat recall being guided into something, like a small car, or pod. Someone spoke to me...i could also hear laughter...The voice seemed like my wife's, trying to calm me down (but in my new paranoid reality, I knew the truth, she was the beguiling, laughing sadistic voice of god).

I now felt myself flying through corridors, tunnels within the machine. I didn't feel that I was a person anymore. I was part of the machine now. I had no limbs. I had no control. I had no emotion. I was just vision. A point of perspective. I have the distinct memory of feeling reduced to something akin to a child's toy.

You know those old toys that were like mickey mouse binoculars, you load up a film of your favorite disney character, look through the glasses into direct light and you can see all the little frames of film on the paper wheel, you pull a lever and it rotates the wheel and a new frame can be viewed....

That was me. That's what we all are. Simple pathetic lenses. I could feel the machine switching out frames. I could feel them coming down from above, from the sides, from below...I was more or less reliving ....All experience lost value in those moments. I didn't lose my soul, I never had one. Life wasn't real. Everything I had ever experienced in my life was a lie, an illusion, a sheet of film forced over my mechanical eye. Throughout all this I felt an increase of speed as I was hurling through time, space, existence, machinery. Suddenly, I came to a startling halt. I was facing a wall, and on that wall was a simple logo, like a brand. I felt sheer terror...Now I panicked.

My mind was racing. I was struggling, fighting to exist, to move, to feel, to spit in the cruel ugly face of god and this fate he had created. I felt invigorated, defeated, empty and alive. Somehow I regained a part of myself....I was back in my body, but I was still inside the machine. I was struggling for a latch, an exit, feeling against the walls for a groove, a handle, anything. I managed to open a door to my left. As I looked down outside the pod I saw pure darkness. Emptiness, a void.

Then it was clear. I was back in my car. I could breath again. I could move, though quite clumsily. I had some 'bubble' vision going on. I got out of the car and leaned against it. It looked 3 ft long. I was also overcome by a fit of hysterical laughter.

The next moments were very strange, but I felt such great relief. I could see what influenced my visions while under the influence.

the dark depths of space? the dark depths of an unlit carport.

the cold monolith of terror at the end of the corridors?.....the KIA logo on my steering wheel.

the machine?.....car interior

evil god? wife

etc?...etc.

Very strange experience. Not fun at all (not that I was told it would be). I value it highly. It had deep reaching philosophical relevance to my spirituality. If one expects to become one with the universe, he must first forfeit himself entirely to it, and embrace nothingness as he is dissolved into the absolute. In the simplest terms possible, going from one, to none, and ultimately to ALL.

Exp Year: 2007	ExpID: 67360
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Sep 21, 2020	Views: 484
[ View PDF (to print) ] [ View LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Swap Dark/Light ]
Salvia divinorum (44) : First Times (2), Small Group (2-9) (17)