Citation: Sylum. "Reality From The Center: An Experience with Salvia divinorm (5x Extract) (exp67518)". Erowid.org. Feb 2, 2014. erowid.org/exp/67518
I came home from the bar on my day off after having 4 drinks. My girlfriend was still at work and I was a little bored, so I decided to go through some old things. I found among other things, a package of 5x Salvia Divinorum laying around. Since it was in one of my old high school bags and going off rough memory it must have been sitting there for somewhere between 5 and 7 years. I had done 5x and 10x Salvia plenty of times with some introspective and interesting experiences in the past. Having wanted to take that introspective trip lately, I was surprised to find it right here at my disposal.
Planning on giving my girlfriend a back massage when she got back from work, I put on some new age type spa music (real flaky stuff). Within about 5 minutes I had built a fairly sturdy bong out of a discarded juice carton and a flashlight. I looked at the clock, 6:09pm. OK, I don't want the place to smell like smoke, so I decided to take a shower and let the steam clear the smoke. I took the bong in the bathroom, started the shower and disrobed. I loaded a small bowl (wasn't expecting to smoke much anyhow) and took a hit.
I remember from way back when that its always harsher than you remember. Today was no different, especially considering I haven't hit a bong in several years, nor do I smoke cigarettes. Things began getting hazy almost immediately as I held the smoke in for a good 30 seconds or so. I blew it into the steam of the shower. Looking down, I saw the chamber of my juice carton was overflowing with smoke still. I decided to clear it. The clearing ignited the bowl again, and my memory became increasingly hazy at this point so I'm not sure, but I believe I may have tried to hit it a third time by lighting it directly.
As reality was drawing away from me and I felt that familiar pressure in the back of my neck, I decided to put the bong down on the counter before I dropped it and made a mess or anything of that nature.
* * * *
With no memory of who I was, what I was, where I was or how I had gotten there, I was in a stream of blur moving outward from a focal corner at the center of my vision. There was a distinct sense that everything from the center was flowing toward me, through me and around me to beyond the outer extents of my field of vision. This happened for what I guess to be roughly 5 seconds, which were very very long seconds.
I was suddenly trying to understand what I was and where I was. I had no sense whatsoever of what a human being was, much less that I was one. A slight pang of fear came over me when I realized I did not know what I was at all, and that my existence might very well be fleeting. In response to this, I fought. I exerted incredible amounts of willpower to try to become something, to understand what it meant to exist and where here was.
Slowly, arduously, the blurring stream of altered reality began to pull back. As it continued to pull back, I discovered that I recognized the colorful thing in my vision to be a juice carton. Within a few moments, the stream receded more until I had something resembling a field of vision. Hazy and fleeting, it rippled about me in distortions that computer graphics have yet to rival.
The entire time, I could hear two sounds. One seemed to be the sound of the stream flowing (which I later realized was the sound of the running shower behind me) and the other was a repeating rythmic sound which almost seemed to be saying a name over and over.
In the farthest reaches of my now expanding vision, I saw an arm intermixed with the edges of the streaming thing before me. It was my arm, it reminded me I was a person and this was a part of me. I had to get back. There were things that were important to me, people that were important to me, things I had yet to accomplish in this world. I remembered. It came back in a flood, what I was, who I was, where I was, what was going on.
I suddenly realized I was nude, though I could not understand why even with the shower immediately next to me. I quickly put on some clothing, my parents or my neighbors might be waiting outside for me for all I knew. How long had I been here? My girlfriend, is everything ok with her? As soon as I threw on the clothing I found, I rushed out of the bathroom.
It was dark, night time. My vision was still slightly distorted, as if I were dreaming. I moved about the house in a way that you move about your house in your mind when you're trying to recall where you left something. Was it night? Had I been in the bathroom for so long? I went to the bed to see if my girlfriend was asleep, nothing. I walked to the front room to see if she was home yet...I had to find her. Bizarre music was playing, and that did not help my weak grasp on reality. Why was she not here? I went to the clock, 6:27pm.
Within the next 2 minutes or so, I became myself again. Everything was back. I did a few things in my head to make sure I was still really me and that I hadn't gone insane or stupid.
Never before have I had an experience like this on Salvia, Mushrooms, LSD, 2CB or ANYTHING. It was extremely intense and bizarre. It was as if whatever thing lays within me that makes me more than the sum of a bunch of chemical processes, lost association with my body for a few moments. I'm not by any means a religious or spiritual person, but I really felt that I had battled to get back to being a human again. As if existences other than my own could have permanently taken my shell while I was away in that place.
In reality, I probably went into a trance similar to being catatonic for a few moments. It was completely insane. At first, I swore I would never touch that stuff again. But, for the introspective experience and the appreciation for being myself again I gained...who knows. Last time I did Salvia, the thoughts I had and the examination of myself that I did is what got me going back to college.
For anyone who has never done Salvia, just be aware that its always unexpected, its far more intense than you expect and if you do it right, you'll come away with some good insights into yourself and what you know of the universe through reflection.
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