BODY WEIGHT:

160 lb

Over a 2-3 year span I have ingested, among other things, a total of approximately 500 'hits' of LSD. Most of this was in liquid form, some blotter, and a few geltabs. Individual doses have varied from 1 'hit' to approximately 50. There were stints where I would dose every 2-3 days, other times I would wait months between trips. I have never had any reliable information on the number of micrograms of acid in these doses. I have experimented with many other psychedelics but never done any regularly, except for MJ. Here are some thoughts I have on these experiences, things I have learned and responses to other trip reports I have seen:

Specific Trips:
When I first started with acid, I regarded my first few trips as pretty monumental and had specific memories of things I did and how I felt, etc. As I dropped more and more the trips have sort of blurred. Things aren't as 'special' to me when I'm on acid as I thought they once were, but I think that is a product of my head.

In other words, I initially thought they were special because I was young and naive and self-centered, and the drug was new to me. Later, when on acid, the moments were just as special as ever while they occurred but not significant in my memory after the trip. In this sense, acid has helped me to be aware of when I am living in the present and when I am not. I think many people are not aware that they are mentally working much more actively in the past or future than paying attention to what is occurring in the present. I'm curious to see what would happen if I can stay away from acid for several years and come back to it, if the 'special' feeling would return. Also, the first acid trips I had were mostly on higher quality LSD than later trips.

Most of my trips were at home, some at raves, some at clubs, some at school, some just walking around. Once comfortable with the drug, I was able to drive on it without much difficulty (not that I'd suggest trying it). Movies used to be fun on it, but lost their appeal. Music was always great, especially live.

The effects I have come to associate with acid have varied widely from trip to trip. You can see the FAQs on the effects, what I had was never any different. Marijuana has a strong affect on the trip. Generally I would either have no MJ while tripping or a lot of it. Without, the trip would be less visual and more interactive, more like flying; with, it became more shaman-esque, I would feel more like I was sinking into the world and the hallucinations were more engulfing (more like an escape). A lot of people seem to have trouble tripping without MJ, but I've come to appreciate doing it both ways -- just different. Also, nitrous oxide was often a pleasant addition, though I would tend to use it compulsively when tripping. I tried DXM once while on LSD, but I didn't find it very pleasant. I don't like DXM much, though.

I haven't had any trips that have been entirely 'bad'. It is possible to get into a negative wavelength/downward spiral on the drug mentally, but I have never really lost myself in one (though I know plenty of people who have). I was almost always in a good mindset before/during the trip and excited to have the drug/experience. I haven't freaked out on acid (except the first time I did it, but that was just because I'd never done it), either. I would have difficulty sleeping on the drug -- I wouldn't suggest one assume they would be able to. Most of my unpleasant moments would come at these times. Alcohol wouldn't really make this condition much better, I would simply be drunk while I was tripping. I never had access to Thorazine.

I became very used to the drug and to guiding myself through trips. A lot of less experienced trippers aren't really able to do this and are probably more prone to having 'bad trips'. As I learned to trip it became easier to get the types of hallucinations I liked and I became very comfortable with what the drug would do -- including negative effects. I guess the 'shock' the acid had when I started to use it went away as I did more, but the effects remained.

When I would do a lot of acid my sleep patterns would be disrupted -- but I've always had strange sleeping habits. Most of the negative physical effects (like muscle tension) were, I think, more a result of being physically tired and mentally fatigued/strung out (occasionnally sensory overload). I would often have really bad gas while tripping, but I consider this more a result of improper eating habits before/during the trip. Since I was generally tripping so much, I didn't really set up my eating in a way to facilitate comfortable tripping. I wouldn't suggest eating too much before/during the trip.

Aftereffects of chronic use:
I'm no longer really sure what the acid has 'done' to me or what the lingering effects are. I thought I knew/understood for awhile, but in the meantime my concept of who/what I am has been completely blown away. I feel like I've become a completely different person over the course of my use (which I have stopped recently). The things I believe in and care about have completely changed, but it is difficult to know if that would have happened without the drug, too. It could have just been a part of my natural development.

Sometimes my head feels hollow, but my cognitive functions don't seem at all impaired. I can still do well in school, work, etc., though I do have a tough time 'putting on a happy face' and performing tasks that I think are bullshit or that I don't want to do (like preparing reports on items that are of no personal significance for work/school, especially when they are for people or purposes that I think are full of shit). I feel a more intense need for self-expression, which becomes increasingly difficult to do with words.

I have become more quiet, withdrawn -- acid has really made it clear to me the futility of words to accurately or completely describe anything, therefore I don't feel the need to try so hard to use them. This makes it more difficult to relate to casual/professional acquaintances on a bullshit, everyday social level. FYI, I used lots of marijuana and alcohol over this period, too, but not any hard drugs on a regular basis. I think the alcohol use probably has fucked with my head, body, and personal life exponentially more than the acid. MJ is MJ, see the Erowid FAQ.

I have noticed a decline in my immune capabilities and general energy level, especially during periods of high use. My sleeping patterns weren't consistent or healthy and I wasn't eating very well either. Of course, these problems were facilitated by the other drugs, too, and my condition has improved (and I think it will continue to do so) since I stopped dropping. Every so often I have some sort of minor hallucination, but never a full-scale 'flashback'.

Helpful coments, stuff I've realized:
Those who are informed that something is wrong with them b/c of their acid use (or any drug use, for that matter) or that they have been permanently negatively affected by it would do well to understand that this is simply pressure being put on you by people who don't understand you and/or wish you were different. There is a lot of anti-drug propaganda out there and it can be tough to push it out of your head -- it can be especially tough for people who have never tried drugs to get these messages out of their heads, too.

The ruling class is only trying to deter you from using drugs, with drug tests, anti-drug laws, and anti-drug propaganda, etc., so that you can be more easily controlled and, more literally, used for their purposes. Most people are afraid of the ruling class and feel pressured to spread their messages (the major media organizations do this, for example) and conform to their preferred morals/ideals. It is easier for those in power to control you if you are just like everyone else who cooperates with their systems and rules -- systems and rules which are set up and administered to benefit THEM, not you or your mental health.

These things certainly don't make drug use 'wrong'. This does not make using them inherently unhealthy. It is possible to use drugs responsibly. You are not committing a sin every time you drop a tab, light a joint, or snort a line. The problem here is that a lot of people believe a lot of bullshit and are given incentives to force their (often misled) moral constraints on others.

Remember, there is no 'normal' and everyone here is free to be/do whatever they want. Acid can seem to distance you from the perceptions of the rest of the world population, but when the world is as constantly full of shit as this one, I don't think there is harm in that. Acid can make you aware of the shit, which is why I think so many people tend to 'rebel' who do acid. When people tell you something is wrong with you because of drug use, they are essentially full of shit.

Personally, I think acid can really open your mind. I had a really closed mind before my experiences and I didn't even know it. During those times, I hurt a lot of people and I believed that I had some sort of moral obligation to act in a certain way and live by certain standards. Now, I no longer think of myself in this way or limit myself to these artifical constraints. In short, I think it has been an excellent thing for my maturation.

More reflective notes:
I have gone through periods where I have worried about permanent damage and/or changes that have happened b/c of the acid. My advice to those in this situation would be to relax: everything in life changes you somehow, and once it has happened there is no going back. I definitely don't feel any 'dumber' and I don't feel like 'damaged goods'. If anything, I feel like the acid has made me much more aware of who I am and where I am, and more able to appreciate the things about life I enjoy. I was battling moderate/severe depression throughout this period. I wouldn't say the acid made that go away, but it did show me how life can be perceived and how beautiful it is to be alive (this was helpful while I was depressed, the acid can grant a repreive from the shit).

I felt more schizophrenic BEFORE my acid use than AFTER. I have never received counseling for my depression/drug habits and have not been diagnosed with any mental disorder. I don't know what it would feel like to be schizophrenic, and any notion I had of being 'normal' has been gone for a long time. When people think you have a mental condition that needs 'treatment' they are merely trying to make you think what they think you ought to be thinking and act how they think you ought to be acting -- it is no instrinsically better or worse than how you actually are or feel you should be yourself.

Final Tips for users:
The geltabs I've done have always been the best quality, both in terms of direct effects and spititual heightening. Papers are never really reliable (I've gotten bunked a few times) and most of the liquid I've had has been okay, but not great. If you have had bad/hollow experiences with liquid or papers, I'd suggest trying geltabs (if you can get any) before rejecting the drug completely. Dealers have a tendency to rip people off sometimes, but the integrity of the drug is not compromised by this fact.

Exp Year: 2001	ExpID: 6827
Gender: Not Specified
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: May 9, 2002	Views: 31,247
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LSD (2) : Not Applicable (38), Retrospective / Summary (11)