Citation: Payote. "The White Beast: An Experience with Cocaine (exp68822)". Erowid.org. Jul 16, 2017. erowid.org/exp/68822
||(powder / crystals)
I am writing this account of the occasion that I have consumed various psychoactive substances, I consider myself one of those people who are a self moderated guinea pig. I see my body as a chemistry lab and everything we put into it has myriads of different affects on our natural chemistry. With that being said I will start this tale of my encounters with the brute force of the white beast.
(note: all names in this account are fictional and not to be taken seriously)
It was an average, placid day like any other. Like usual me and my good buddy Atom were finding a weekend boredom burner, spending time looking for a rare exotic substance that comes rather slim in the parts we live in up in the northern California foothills. A substance that is a chemical tight rope… a chemical ‘game’ of Russian roulette, none other than the elusive white powder with an equivocal of gold in street currency.
So, we took our trip deep into the city, and my god. After we had picked up this sack of cocaine it created facades. Gazing upon the bag made my heart flutter with the promiscuity of a twelve year old boy and his first time with a playboy. Large rocks lines the bag, interestingly enough there were 5 large ones that jutted forth from the magnificent landscape created in such a mundane Ziploc sandwich bag, Atom and I decided to name it mount Rushmore and immediately went to work shaping this landscape. Better yet shaping the night that was bound to happen.
After scoring the bag we dashed over to the house we were squatting at and hung out there for a night Atom brought his GF and we got down to business. 2 nice clean syringes for atom and his girl, and a nice neon green straw with a very VERY large mirror. I will document the affects on the time scale provided.
+0:00(7:30 Pm): I have scooped out some decent sized pebble looking rocks, crushed them out row on row I have created 7 good sized rails.
+0:02 (32 after 7PM): I have chemically agonized my dopamine system by ingesting 3 lines, Senses are extremely acute, every creak made in the house is easily audible. My thoughts are incredibly thin and flow with the essence of that thinner than water, almost etherally.
+0:15 (7:50PM): The intense rush has settled down, like the river of thoughts was stopped suddenly but a indefinite buzz, still a little euphoric
+0:30 (8:20PM): The high is faded, and it left me a tad more fatigued than when I began, I can guess this is how the chain begins, but as a responsible user, I decide to walk the line and continue out use throughout the night.
Atom and his GF are using IV method of use, which has not really tickled my fancy due to fear of needles, but judging by their reactions right after use. The ‘train’ and intense euphoria to the point of them having a complete dull blank stare… as though all focus has been turned inward to the intense dopamine onslaught and orgasmic qualities of intravenous injection.
Throughout the night more and more was consumed, I See it deep inside something was growing. Not anything to human proportions, something instinctual, something more than just a desire. After stopping the binge at about 1AM, And waiting, the beast came out.
I believe the beast to be an instinctual hunger that is my metaphor for what you consider your homeostasis is upset after a good binge, the lack of dopamine makes memories of pleasure that can only be reached by the essence of a nice chopped up line possible. It is addiction that is instinctual and impulsive, and extremely hard to control and ignore. It has almost as much power on your physical functions as it does mentally (Depending on how deep you are in), After binging for a week, I can say I came face to face with the white beast.
Now I sit here, my soul took a beating from the brunt of the beast. I feel not really depression, but a grayness and almost inexplicable boredom out of the fact that nothing really seems good, I can hypothesize that this might be the down regulated amounts of dopamine that my brain is tumultuously feeling.
I treat Euphoric stimulant class drugs like that which the strength of the ocean has, I do not take this drug lightly as it can easily steal everything I have ever known in this world from me. I use the golden 3 Rs about Euphoric stimulants (Meth, cocaine):
1. Research (online)
2. Research (my body)
3. research (my mind)
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