Citation: SHADIHS. "Meeting Me on Me-O: An Experience with 5-MeO-DMT (exp68884)". Erowid.org. Jan 25, 2010. erowid.org/exp/68884
I write this report years after said experience as to hopefully tempt first time users of powerful psychoactive substances to apply respect and caution before jumping into the deep end as I did.
Mind, Set & Setting:
At the age of 17 I was beginning to learn of the healing capabilities of the human form. There is a holistic science known as Kinesiology which I participated in involving the use of touch and meridians to balance the flow of energy in the human nervous system causing emotional healing and brain integration. It was such a joy to be connected to the heart chackra and to feel blockages in another being and to be able to heal. During this time I occasionally used LSD and other substances to connect me to my higher self and to learn more about the human condition and perception. I had never tried any form of DMT previous to this experience but had read about it and due to my research was eager to try it. It arrived in my life at what could’ve only been the right time in both forms (n,n,DMT and 5-Me-O-DMT). I was with good friends whom I trusted and loved. I initially tried a minute dose of n,n,DMT which gave me an overwhelming feeling of comfort, grounding and being at home in my own body and being. It was so extraordinary that I turned to one friend and stated ‘It makes me ME!’. He then said to me that he felt it too, even though he hadn’t taken any. An hour or so passes and then the real trip begins…
I was sitting with three of my good friends around me and when one of them handed me a pipe with a white substance on the gauze.
‘Is this DMT?’ I asked.
‘Yep’ Said my friend.
What I wasn’t aware of was the fact that this substance wasn’t the same n,n, I tried previously but 5-Me-O. Anticipating the beautiful sensation of the n,n, I placed the pipe on my lips and inhaled. The taste was different from before and the feeling was quite the opposite. I’ve heard of n,n,DMT and 5-Me-O-DMT as being described as ‘the lush’ and ‘the push’ respectively. What I was experiencing was a definite push. Pressure built around me and it almost felt like resistance to this push would cause great discomfort, so I began letting go of my grip and relaxed backwards to a slouch. Doing so my friend said ‘Good you’re going with it’, and placed his leg upon mine. The friend to the right of me then placed her leg upon his. Where our legs were touching I felt our energies combine in a glooping fashion. Our energies kept on combining until there was only three lines left until we became one conscious being. The three lines became shorter and shorter until they met in the middle. What happened next was partially a memory and partially an experience. I had the undeniable sensation that I had experienced this before. I was standing in a golden lit garden with beautiful waterfalls and plants. I noticed I was holding the hand of a glowing white entity in a human form but noticeably taller than most. I looked at it and said ‘Who are you?’
‘I’m me’ it replied.
‘Why do I have to go back to earth?’ I asked
‘It’d get boring otherwise, wouldn’t it?’ It said.
After hearing that I opened my eyes and realised that during the vision there was movement in the physical world and where I was holding the hand of the entity I was now in a three way handshake with the two friends I ‘joined’ with. I looked to my right and my friend had a tear rolling down her face and she looked away from me. I asked my other friend what he experienced and he said ‘Absolute nothingness. Like Hell’ I have asked what the friend to my right experienced then but she still won’t tell me to this day.
Whatever I experienced then feels like an experience I should’ve come to by natural means. I have asked older wiser people about it and one man said he had a similar experience once but hasn’t been able to remember after the joining of energy. Now at the age of 25 after an intense psychosis and years of Psychedelic experience the thought of healing another human with touch causes concern and fear to arise. I believe that ‘shortcutting’ my way to that experience has not given me something but rather taken something away. I will stress that using psychoactives can be very healing, opening and connecting but I would prefer reaching the desired effects the natural way first. I believe any insights or gifts acquired this way will be many times deeper and much, much longer lasting.
If I could turn back time I would, and abstain. Thanks for reading.
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