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Steps on the Path to Hell
Methamphetamine
by Hallucine
Citation:   Hallucine. "Steps on the Path to Hell: An Experience with Methamphetamine (exp69105)". Erowid.org. Nov 5, 2011. erowid.org/exp/69105

 
DOSE:
T+ 0:00
  IV Methamphetamine
  T+ 19:00   IV Methamphetamine
  T+ 0:00   repeated IV Methamphetamine

BODY WEIGHT: 123 lb


Tuesday, March 3 5:58 AM

How long can a human body survive without food, and very little water? It has been three days for me. Maybe that's why I smell like I'm rotting from the inside-out? Since Saturday, been living like a weird, smelly, burnt-out, pimply, awkward, creepy addict loser, holing up alone in my house, wandering town only when I must. Soulless, zombie like. I became the walking dead.

IT BEGINS
Sunday. At 6am, 10 units IV. Stayed in my bedroom, managed to have a 4 hour nap, was driven out of town, arrived to destination at 11pm. I picked at my face in the bathroom for an hour, showered, shot another 5 units 1am Monday. Felt immediately refreshed! More energized, but no euphoria. I felt... back to normal.

Monday. I shoot about 2 points total. Spent the day in bed, writing about nothing, making sure windows were opaque, avoiding all phone calls. I tweezed my brows, went through my things over and over, obsessively handled my drugs, missed shots, I was very anti-social and strange. Today I spent 6 hours picking my face.

Tuesday. I walked to the Medical Clinic today, for the utter discomfort/pain I was going through, and I also had a horrible cough. I felt like a leper when the Dr. reacted to my answers. I almost cried while getting tested. (For all vitals, levels, tox report, ECG, blood, urine, all STD's, + blood borne viruses, etc.) The nurse painfully dug in my arm a lot before filling 10 vials. Hated the feeling of someone else's inexperienced hands controlling a needle in my arm. The whole experience was a vividly dysphoric mind-fuck. Decided to shoot a bit more because I was starting to feel horrid. Thought I overheard, 'She's shooting up in the bathroom!' A stranger offered me a ride home and there I, unexpectedly, fell asleep. Woke 90 mins later, alert, heart racing, fiending. Extreme dizziness upon rising. I white out for a few seconds, and return. Since I am out of drugs, I eat. Throughout the day, I had IV'd approx 3.5 points.

Following are a summary of effects.

MOUTH
- a gross, plaque-y layer of gunk permanently stuck on my teeth no matter what I do.
- tongue has lots of varying sores
- yellower teeth with new white stains, visibly receded gumline
- earlier, my jaw hurt, and I compulsively tongued my teeth.
- weird, chemical taste

SKIN
- sweat + oil + speed bumps + already clogged pores = fucking hideous, infected, scabby, scarred acne sprouting within a few days.
-has a translucent quality
- greasy/sweaty odor always present.
- i require two thick layers of makeup to barely look normal.

WEIGHT
Sunday - 129
Today - 122

BODY
- so sore and the worst hasn't yet begun. Feeling very achy and cold.
- dizzy spells. sharply decreased strength
- chest and head pains
- blue, pale skin and bright, peeling red lips.
- lots of intestinal gas.
- sharp surges of ear pain
- a permanent red patch of a swollen, bruised, practically non-functioning injection site in my arm
- tingly, numb extremities
- haven't had a shit in 2-3 days

MIND
- I don't really think, my brain feels as if it is on autopilot. Mixing up words and making silly mistakes. Extreme paranoia from the claustrophobia of living in a small town where no one is anonymous.

PERCEPTION
- I overhear/hallucinate? multiple conversations both about me (how I smell, look, and some gossip) and the drug methamphetamine. I hallucinate music, and whispers of my name.
- Vision is blurred, wavy. A bit like acid, with 'lights floating on a different frequency'.
- Things appear to dart across floors.

I hope my children never experience anything even remotely related with this poison. It is an extreme waste of health, sanity and time.

Exp Year: 2007ExpID: 69105
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Nov 5, 2011Views: 16,278
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Methamphetamine (37) : Health Problems (27), Post Trip Problems (8), Addiction & Habituation (10), Alone (16)

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