Citation: KingJ. "Godhead and the Fractal Universe: An Experience with Salvia divinorum (exp69227)". Erowid.org. Nov 11, 2018. erowid.org/exp/69227
My teacher has put me through many initiations to attune myself to higher vibrations. I have for many years looked and searched for the SO CALLED enlightenment we all seek. I now beleive Consciousness is the only true key of it all. An intangible limitless force within all of us is an anomaly to this physical reality.
I recently on Apr 27th had an awakening almost too powerful to handle. Had I not had a foundation a slight grasp on quantum physics, a strong esoteric background, and years of teaching and a teacher I would have gone crazy.
Setting: friends house 1 very waterpipe hit. I have smoked Sally about 15 times before this always just had very powerful psychedelic experience visuals, laughing, heavy body etc. NOTHING like this experience. I thought I would never reach what was called the transcendental experience.
HIT: I take the hit feel it come on very powerfully. This time my vision goes dim I am fading then nothing. All the sudden I am back at least my vision is but I am however no longer me. I jump up and my friends later tell me 'I am saying this is not right' 'this is not right' I look over with a blank expression and say WAIT. I remember none of this is when all hell breaks loose!
For lack of a better word I tapped into a consciousness so much more powerful than mine I never knew existed. I felt my prefrontal cortex explode with a feeling of fireworks I felt my self fall slightly back into my self. Almost like if I could lean back within myself like in a recliner. I was still able to perceive reality with my human eyes, yet I was seeing reality for what it truly was a façade, a fake, a big play, it was terrifying. I had realized I would never get back to what I once was this life of who I thought I was. I knew with every fiber of my being at a conscious level beyond my insignificant ego conscious, I was for lack of a better word I was god. All of reality was a construct of my mind to keep myself asleep. I knew that I had created the ultimate façade, and because I was god I was not suppose to figure out how the construct worked. All of the answers rained down around me. Before I lost the ego conscious of myself.
Like I said it felt like my Prefrontal cortex exploded right before this awakening. At this point with my physical eyes reality fractals in all directions all around me. Forever a head and forever behind. I could have been at any point in any of them they were all the same. Within the god mind I felt like I was not supposed to have figured this out. It was almost like there was a feeling of there you go man you screwed up the program.
It was almost like there was a feeling of there you go man you screwed up the program.
I knew at that point because I figured out how that reality worked I could never go back to it, at least the one I was in when I was shown what it was. By understanding what make reality it I had destroyed everything that made this fractal/ reality real to me.
At this point heard a sound almost metallic, and the room almost began to slowly tunnel I mean my peripheral vision of the room began to swirl, yet it front it was still stationary except the fractals of all the realities. I watched the reality I was in flip over into another reality that was exactly the same yet was all backwards like a negative of the one I was previously in. Do mind my physical eyes were open the whole time. Yet my conscious the conscious of myself never existed. Everything all my friends all of reality was a construct of my mind. I realized that this will go on for infinity I felt it was truly hell and there is no escape ever. I believe I shifted my conscious to the abyss everything and nothing at the same time. At this point I remembered who I was and was able to attempt to get back yet I almost went crazy. When I had began to fight to get myself back what I believed was real the room went POOF and the room I was in looked like negative of the room, I was originally in. Everything was opposite of what I remember it like looking into a mirror. Then it went POOF again and went back to the way I remembered it as being. I had to have my friends tell me everything was real, I begged them to reassure me, yet I know what I was shown and it scared the hell out of me at that time. I knew that since everything was a construct of my mind my friends job would be to do their job. To reassure me this reality was real, and keep me asleep back within the program, by telling me everything is real and I am ok. It was like here is the secret of the universe ohh and go ahead on living in your ego existence with that knowledge.
The effects of this awareness, and more important the FEELING were psychologically damaging to me for about 3 days after that. I am fine now and just doing standard meditations. I really wanted enlightenment I did not drink any alcohol for 4 months, and meditated like hell. Had a kundalini awakening about 3 weeks before this happened.
I can more easily describe by talking in person but my journey for consciousness, magick, spirituality, enlightenment, knowledge, has been profound. I have been getting visits when I sleep, massively shifting consciousness while dreaming, lucid dreaming, I think I tapped into something and it comes almost every night now. In a way it almost sucks because I still live in the matrix yet I know what it truly is and why it is here.
In a way it almost sucks because I still live in the matrix yet I know what it truly is and why it is here.
It is here to keep GODS thought occupied and himself asleep. For if he is fully awake I believe, he has to face the horrifying reality of nothingness within utter oblivion, possibly not knowing how even himself as the creator came into existence. Would it not be better if you were the creator to construct something that you could fall asleep in and believe was so true so real by shattering your consciousness into an infinite amount of directions, almost like every one of us is a single brain cell of the creator. Rather than being the ultimate single consciousness facing the horrifying fact that there is truly nothingness, and you don’t even know how you came about being.
The scary thing, is I did not go into the same fractal when I came back to my ego conscious, and a few things in this I guess you could say new reality were different. I obviously have to believe this is the same reality I was in when I had my experience for psychological reasons of course.
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