Trance and M.C. Escher
Citation: Kitty. "Trance and M.C. Escher: An Experience with Salvia divinorum (exp69263)". Erowid.org. Feb 9, 2018. erowid.org/exp/69263
I was really excited about trying salvia. I had made an attempt to do it a few years back, but didn’t do it correctly and ultimately felt nothing but a headache from it. However, with more experience smoking under my belt, I was ready and extremely curious about its effects. Never had I heard of a positive-outcome story having to do with it, but I was determined to see for myself. My boyfriend had acquired 40x from a local shop for around fifty bucks.
I sat comfortably on a fuzzy computer chair, listening to this gothic/ethereal radio station on Live365. I’ve been listening to this particular playlist for many years, so I thought if I had some comforting music, it would make the trip more positive. The bowl was packed with half of what we purchased, and I took the biggest hit of my life. The taste was almost like an exaggerated mint-chocolate (salvia is part of the mint family, so that makes sense). It wasn’t delicious, but I wasn’t really fretting over taste.
I held it in for a good fifteen seconds before I exhaled. I heard my boyfriend ask me how it felt, but I couldn’t say a word. He was looking at my face intently, which made me nervous, so I let out a chuckle. But then I started to laugh really hard, and I remember not being able to breath. Suddenly, I doubled over and the music began to fade. I looked up to see my boyfriend still looking at me, which had me worried. At this point in time, I had completely forgotten I had smoked anything at all just a few seconds earlier.
I had completely forgotten I had smoked anything at all just a few seconds earlier.
The music faded, and I could hear nothing more than a single rhythmic bass, echoing throughout the entire house.
My eyes focused on the alignment of the floorboards under my feet, and suddenly the entire room morphed into this symmetrical picture, very similar to the style of M.C. Escher. My body was in tingles, and I didn’t know who I was. The pictures the room was divided into kept jumping and rotating, and I know I was talking to myself. I noticed my boyfriend was part of the moving pictures, and he/it kept trying to talk to me, and I didn’t want to make it upset, so I kept talking to it and making small talk. Probably muttered things like “yeah” or “okay” over and over, because that’s all I remember saying at that point.
After what seemed like hours, I heard him say, “I guess it was good stuff.” Or something to that affect. It confused me for a second, but then I came to the (very) slow realization that nothing that was happening was real, and I had taken some sort of drug to put me in this mindset. I felt him pull me up, and it felt like I was being pulled back down. I knew I needed to clear my head, because I was so uncomfortable in the state I was in. I screamed, “Get me out of this room!” and found myself standing in the hallway with my back tightly against the wall, rambling on about how the room was a bad room with negative energy, and how it wasn’t safe for us and that we’d be better off blocking it off from the world.
I stood there for a few more minutes with him staring at me, probably wondering if my head was about to explode, as I most likely looked extremely frantic (as how I felt). Around this time, I finally understood that none of it was really happening outside of my head, and that I needed to try to think rationally. This left me extremely nervous, because I was afraid someone would find me in this state other than my boyfriend and try to take advantage of me, or throw me in jail. About three minutes passed while I was trying my hardest to explain what I had just experienced, but the look on his face told me that I was just babbling still, not making any sense of anything and talking way louder than I should have been.
I sat myself down for the remainder of the trip, trying to focus on thinking calmly and rationally. I was very nervous that the effects of the drug would be permanent. I was also scared of the fact that other drugs I had yet to take (LSD and shrooms) may be just like this. It took about twenty more minutes to fully clear my head, and I was able to return to normal.
As exciting as it was, I don’t think I’d ever like to try this again. It left me extremely uncomfortable and nervous. The overall feeling of the trip was not a positive one, but I wouldn’t call it overwhelming. I would start at less than 40x. Even with a positive mindset, I still managed to scare myself during the half hour of my instability. I was with someone I feel very comfortable with. He felt like a buoy, and I was swimming in the middle of the ocean with no one else around. My boyfriend was vital to my recovery in all of this!
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