Citation: Unique. "Realizing Reality: An Experience with MDMA (exp69363)". Erowid.org. Jan 10, 2018. erowid.org/exp/69363
||(pill / tablet)
'Do you want to try some X tonight?' I replied in a low tone, my heart pounding, and my body filled with energy as Alex Braxe spilled from the speakers in my car, “Yeah I do.”
The first time I tried X I was very afraid. I had seen commercials about its effects and one particular that stayed in my mind was one of a girl who had died from it. I wasn't a so-called 'druggie' I had done the obvious kinds of drugs in high school but nothing hard like X.
My brother is a DJ in the rave scene in L.A. and San Bernardino. He invited me to go with him one night if I agreed to give him a ride to the party. I agreed and brought along a childhood friend to come with me. Her name is Sebra and I brought her because I knew that if I were going to drop on X she would do it with me too.
When we got there, around 10pm, I saw groups of friends dressed in colors and beads greeting each other like family. Sebra and I walked hand in hand as we went inside. The building was small and there weren’t many people there. There was a guy spinning and the speakers were booming with loud beats. My brother Gabriel introduced us to some friends and we were soon recognized as newbies for the night. I met Lyric a small girl with a stuffed animal backpack and back rimmed eyeglasses. She reached in her bag and pulled out a string filled with bracelets. She proceeded to find one she said she had made for me specifically. She asked for my hand and held the bracelet on her fingers. As we held hands she curled the bracelet on to my wrist. The bracelet had beautiful, purple, magenta, and green beads in circles that resembled grapes. I love it!
Around 12am my brother approached Sebra and I with a bottle of water and placed a tablet in our palms. I looked at Sebra and almost wanted to cry. I had not even taken it yet and I was already happy. I looked at the light blue tablet; it had a crescent engraved in it. I placed it on my tongue and gulped the water down. Sebra did the same and then we hugged each other so tight and told each other that this was going to be a good night.
The music and lights glowed friends crowed my brother as he span. Sebra and I danced together like no one was watching. All this was fun oh sure except that I was certain that while Sebra was in her high I was not. It was now 2am and I had not felt anymore different than that of 2 hrs ago. I began to become disappointed and the party was becoming more and more crowded. There had been another party that same night that was crashed; the remaining partygoers were coming to the one I was at.
I wanted to leave for I was becoming claustrophobic in the room.
We said goodbye to everyone while Sebra and I walk to the exit.
Just as my foot stepped onto the Los Angeles sidewalk it hit me like a bird crashing into a window. I stopped in my spot and looked at Sebra and smiled huge. She knew and started to laugh. I hugged her tight as we walked to the car, my brother behind me catching up with us.
I started to talk about things and people. Gabriel told me that I was talking about everything so beautifully. I put on Stereolab and felt the music flow though my body entering my fingers and caressing my face. I kept rubbing my knees and singing the songs. I thought about my world, my family, my friends, my ex. I felt happy and safe. I never wanted to leave the state I wanted to stay in my small xA and talk with Gabriel and Sebra. We brought orange juice at 7-11 and decided where to go at 3:30am in Los Angeles. I recommended Griffith Park so we went. I knew of a back trail and in the night we walked high up the mountain to a spectacular view of the city and its neighboring hills. The lights glittered like a million candles glimmering in a dark room. The tall homes under us were so close we could see the backyards. I felt at peace up there in the high sky looking down at the city I called my home. I though about my ex-boyfriend and how it took X for me to feel the feeling of “let go” for him. I was so happy and although I know the next day would be another challenge it was worth it. Worth it so that I can live and be awake to witness the beauty of the world and all it has to give to me as I to her.
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