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The Feeling Ive Been Chasing My Whole Life
MDMA (Ecstasy)
by hellbound
Citation:   hellbound. "The Feeling Ive Been Chasing My Whole Life: An Experience with MDMA (Ecstasy) (exp69454)". Erowid.org. Feb 9, 2018. erowid.org/exp/69454

 
DOSE:
1 tablet oral MDMA

BODY WEIGHT: 125 lb


New Years on E

Im a 20 year old college student. At college, I drink all the time, but dont really do drugs (except weed). Id heard amazing things about E, though, and had been wanting to try it for a while.

I had been hanging out with my friend X a lot lately, and he had recently started going to raves. He told me about a rave on New Years, and I decided I would go. He also had a new roommate, Y, who had been raving for a while and who told me all about what E was like. I was really excited for the rave, but our transportation arrangement fell through a few days before. So the three of us decided we would still roll on New Years we would just do it in Xs room. I had to attend a dinner party and couldnt get to Xs house until about 9:30. I got there and saw that X and Y had covered Xs room in glowsticks, and bought 2 strobe lights. His room looked pretty fucking awesome.

I immediately took my pill, around 9:30. I ate it because I wanted it to kick in fast. X took 2 pills and Y took 5 or 6. Then we all had fun making glowstick bracelets and necklaces for ourselves, and X gave me a few of his kandys. We put on some trance and turned on the strobelights.

Almost exactly half an hour after I had taken my pill at about 10:00 it hit me HARD. I felt this warmth spread through my brain. It felt AWESOME this warm, good feeling was spreading through my brain and my head. I announced the warm feeling to the guys, and they said the E was starting to work! All of a sudden, adrenaline was coursing through my body not cause of the E, but because I was sooooo excited about how I was about to feel.

After a minute, I felt the warmth begin to spread. It wasnt just in my head anymore it was slowly spreading down my back. It was the most AMAZING feeling ever definitely one of the best parts of the night. These warm, happy feelings started coursing through my body. And they were really intense! I had heard E was amazing, but had no idea it would feel this intense. I felt ridiculously happy for no reason.

X was grinning at me; apparently his E was kicking in too. I looked at him sitting on a chair with his huge grin, and felt a rush of affection for him for being such a good friend. X is a truly good person and a great friend, and I sat there thinking about how Id never fully appreciated him until this moment. He told me to come sit in his lap. I did, and then he slowly ran his hand down my arm. It felt incredible. I had known E increases tactile sensations, but Id had no idea it would be this intense. I begged him not to stop and he laughed. I started running my hands down his arms, too, because I wanted him to feel as good as I did. We started cuddling, and even though we had never cuddled or even really flirted before, it felt like the most natural thing in the world.

Y was sitting on the bed and he looked like his E had kicked in too. I told him how amazing cuddling felt and he grinned. The three of us lay on the bed and cuddled for awhile. At one point I was holding Xs hand, fingers laced with his, and felt extremely connected to him. Then we started massaging each others knuckles and god it felt good!

X and Y started dancing around and giving me light shows. I was in heaven just sitting there and soaking up all the good feeling. I tried to get up and dance, but my body felt so ridiculously light that it felt like I was going to float off. It was a weird feeling, so I sat back down. It was hard to not move my body at all, though, so I just moved around to the music while sitting on the bed. I didnt feel very energetic, but I felt really warm and comfortable and happy. Maybe it was because I was on pure MDMA if it had meth in it Im sure I wouldve felt more like getting up and dancing. Also, E was my first hard drug, so someone more experienced probably wouldnt have been weirded out by feeling light after standing up.

Somehow, X and I started kissing, and then Y and I kissed. I became obsessed with Xs tongue ring it was very entertaining for my mouth.

I was really enjoying running my hands down the guys arms and chests and legs, because whenever I did, their faces showed so much pleasure. It felt amazing to be touched, but it felt even more amazing to touch other people. The E made me a better person for a while I enjoyed giving pleasure more than receiving it. And even after coming off the drug, I still vividly remember how I felt that night and its permanently made me a better person.

At one point I walked into the bathroom to pee. When I looked in the mirror, I had this HUGE grin on my face. Not only that, but my eyes were shining and glowing and my whole face just radiated happiness. I had had no idea that my emotions had been so visible on my face all night! Looking in the mirror, I tried to stop smiling, but I could only do it for a second and then the smile would creep back. Id never experienced that before usually I have to force myself to smile, not force myself to STOP smiling!

The guys and I would occasionally say some random sentimental thing to each other, about how glad we were to be friends, and stuff like that. We also did Vicks masks and smoked menthols. The menthols especially were awesome.

Next time I do E, I want to take a shower and I want to get a good hard back massage. The simplest things feel amazing on this drug. After doing E, I dont even have a desire anymore to try any more drugs, because I know E is the feeling Ive been chasing my whole life. I think people should only do it on special occasions. I can definitely see how people with addictive personalities could over abuse this drug.

Exp Year: 2008ExpID: 69454
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: 20 
Published: Feb 9, 2018Views: 790
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MDMA (3) : First Times (2), Glowing Experiences (4), Small Group (2-9) (17)

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