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Changed My Life
MDMA
by QuasiModo
Citation:   QuasiModo. "Changed My Life: An Experience with MDMA (exp69685)". Erowid.org. May 1, 2020. erowid.org/exp/69685

 
DOSE:
  oral MDMA (capsule)

BODY WEIGHT: 160 lb


The modern unhealthy life leads to low seretonin levels in the brain. My unhealthy eating combined with the now not uncommon completely sedentary lifestyle lead to drastically low levels. I was 15 years old and living the life of the average unhealthy American. I knew I was overweight but my height allowed me to not look too bad and I was 'content' with knowing I wasn't OBESE. Then my aunt gave me ecstasy for my first time. 250mgs of pure MDMA, fucking amazing, incredible, indescribable... But something was missing. The happiness I derived from the experience which, at the time, seemed the most intense anyone could ever feel, the next day seemed shallow and vain.

When a person is athletic and have a balanced diet their brain produces more serotonin. I knew what was missing and decided I would devote 6 months of my life to being sober and incredibly healthy. It was very hard, but after the 6 months of cycling every day, lifting weights every other day, and eating my veggies I felt fucking great. It was finally time.

The roll after these 6 months was like no other. I popped a total of 500mgs of pure MDMA and it blew my first time out of the fucking water. The first time I basically spent the entire time sitting in a chair, sweating balls and rubbing my legs. This time after about 45 minutes I was up and about my house. I looked at my life through rosy red glasses. I examined every facet of my home life and was overwhelmed by the beauty that was my every day life.

And after an hour of this I thought it would be a waste to spend this glorious night in my home. I got on my bike and headed to the beach. Something that was very different from my first experience is that I was not clouded in my head at all, I had a very clean feeling, as if rather than being 'fucked up' I was experiencing everything 'more sober' than I usually did. The wind on my face was the most incredible sensation I have felt before or since... The colors of the cars ahead of me and the sounds of the trees were the most vivid and alive I had ever heard or seen them.

And then I reached my destination, the beach. I sat in the dunes feeling the sand and watching the sunset for what felt like an eternity. I experienced the complete silence of my thoughts, Nirvana. I was alive like I had never been before.

And then after an hour of this I decided watching nature would also be a waste if I didn't spend some of my night with friends. I called my three best friends. We went to Starbucks and saw Disturbia. Luckily I had never seen a scary movie with these friends; my yelps and screams at the scary parts were exaggerated greatly by the fact that I was rolling. After the movie we all went out to dinner at our local Arby's, by which time most of the intensity of my roll had passed (about 5 hours) and I was left with a pleasantly silly afterglow. My mood was still higher than it would ever normally be, but my 'high' had mostly passed.

They all commented on how positive I was being that night, but they never would have guessed my secret... The only reason I didn't tell them was because I didn't want to bother my aunt for any more that night, I knew there would be another time for sharing.

Since then I've kept my healthy habits and have been known to roll every once in a great while. I don't believe substances as powerful as MDMA should be used like any other drug. In my opinion it doesn't give a 'high' so much as let you see your life through brighter eyes. At some times I was very introspective and at others I didn't have a care in the world. I could imagine anyone with emotional issues could easily manage their problems through an encounter with ecstasy. So far I've never done anything but pure MDMA and I've never had a bad experience.

In sum, ecstasy changed my life. I was once overweight and lonely, I am now completely fit and completely content with all aspects of my life. I've noticed I use the word 'completely' a lot since then, I consider myself a very 'whole' person.

In my opinion, there's nothing that gets a person ready to roll like a good diet and exercise regimen.

Exp Year: 2007ExpID: 69685
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: May 1, 2020Views: 261
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MDMA (3) : Various (28), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Families (41), Glowing Experiences (4), Retrospective / Summary (11)

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