Citation: QuasiModo. "Changed My Life: An Experience with MDMA (exp69685)". Erowid.org. May 1, 2020. erowid.org/exp/69685
The modern unhealthy life leads to low seretonin levels in the brain. My unhealthy eating combined with the now not uncommon completely sedentary lifestyle lead to drastically low levels. I was 15 years old and living the life of the average unhealthy American. I knew I was overweight but my height allowed me to not look too bad and I was 'content' with knowing I wasn't OBESE. Then my aunt gave me ecstasy for my first time. 250mgs of pure MDMA, fucking amazing, incredible, indescribable... But something was missing. The happiness I derived from the experience which, at the time, seemed the most intense anyone could ever feel, the next day seemed shallow and vain.
When a person is athletic and have a balanced diet their brain produces more serotonin. I knew what was missing and decided I would devote 6 months of my life to being sober and incredibly healthy. It was very hard, but after the 6 months of cycling every day, lifting weights every other day, and eating my veggies I felt fucking great. It was finally time.
The roll after these 6 months was like no other. I popped a total of 500mgs of pure MDMA and it blew my first time out of the fucking water. The first time I basically spent the entire time sitting in a chair, sweating balls and rubbing my legs. This time after about 45 minutes I was up and about my house. I looked at my life through rosy red glasses. I examined every facet of my home life and was overwhelmed by the beauty that was my every day life.
And after an hour of this I thought it would be a waste to spend this glorious night in my home. I got on my bike and headed to the beach. Something that was very different from my first experience is that I was not clouded in my head at all, I had a very clean feeling, as if rather than being 'fucked up' I was experiencing everything 'more sober' than I usually did. The wind on my face was the most incredible sensation I have felt before or since... The colors of the cars ahead of me and the sounds of the trees were the most vivid and alive I had ever heard or seen them.
And then I reached my destination, the beach. I sat in the dunes feeling the sand and watching the sunset for what felt like an eternity. I experienced the complete silence of my thoughts, Nirvana. I was alive like I had never been before.
And then after an hour of this I decided watching nature would also be a waste if I didn't spend some of my night with friends. I called my three best friends. We went to Starbucks and saw Disturbia. Luckily I had never seen a scary movie with these friends; my yelps and screams at the scary parts were exaggerated greatly by the fact that I was rolling. After the movie we all went out to dinner at our local Arby's, by which time most of the intensity of my roll had passed (about 5 hours) and I was left with a pleasantly silly afterglow. My mood was still higher than it would ever normally be, but my 'high' had mostly passed.
They all commented on how positive I was being that night, but they never would have guessed my secret... The only reason I didn't tell them was because I didn't want to bother my aunt for any more that night, I knew there would be another time for sharing.
Since then I've kept my healthy habits and have been known to roll every once in a great while. I don't believe substances as powerful as MDMA should be used like any other drug. In my opinion it doesn't give a 'high' so much as let you see your life through brighter eyes. At some times I was very introspective and at others I didn't have a care in the world. I could imagine anyone with emotional issues could easily manage their problems through an encounter with ecstasy. So far I've never done anything but pure MDMA and I've never had a bad experience.
In sum, ecstasy changed my life. I was once overweight and lonely, I am now completely fit and completely content with all aspects of my life. I've noticed I use the word 'completely' a lot since then, I consider myself a very 'whole' person.
In my opinion, there's nothing that gets a person ready to roll like a good diet and exercise regimen.
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