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Finally Happy
MDMA
by sezzra88
Citation:   sezzra88. "Finally Happy: An Experience with MDMA (exp69957)". Erowid.org. Mar 11, 2021. erowid.org/exp/69957

 
DOSE:
T+ 0:00
  oral Vitamin C  
  T+ 0:00 .5 tablets oral MDMA (pill / tablet)
  T+ 1:10 .5 tablets oral MDMA (pill / tablet)

BODY WEIGHT: 180 lb


I was not a happy person. I would rarely if ever smile and if I did it would be for a very short time. Then I started smoking weed and it was good for a while. Then I realized that weed only numbs pain and puts problems out of mind for a bit. It does nothing to actually solve them.
Then I was assigned a research project on hallucinogens for a psychology class. I did extensive research on LSD, marijuana, shrooms, and ecstasy. I finally decided to try something else and through a friend I received one pill of ecstasy. I looked online and other pills like were tested to be pure.
On the last st. Patrick's day I took the pill this is my experience:

Prior to taking my dose I changed to the most comfortable clothes I could. I took a large amount of vitamin C and told my brother what I am doing.

6:20_told my mom I wanted the basement for some alone time. Took half the pill.

7:30_still nothing, took other half

8:00-9:00_kinda fall asleep. At 9 little brother wakes me up and I realize that its hitting. This is most obvious when I find a grand grin on my face for absolutely no reason. I look at my eyes and they are fully dialated. My brother decided to screw with me a bit and punched and slapped a bit. Normally I would immediately retaliate violently, however I did nothing. I felt that any sort of hostility would have no effect so I did nothing.

10:00_This is the highest point of my life. I AM HAPPY!! I see absolutely no reason not to be.
This is the highest point of my life. I AM HAPPY!! I see absolutely no reason not to be.
I called two people and had wonderful conversation during each.

During the next two hours I switched between listening to music, raving with my personal strobe light, and rubbing my arms together. I thought about my experience with people, who I am as a person, and the unifying reason why I am normally not a happy person. I realized that I am afraid of getting close to anyone, and often choose hostility instead of being nice.

12:30_ I had come down quite a bit and finally felt tired enough to fall asleep.

That night changed my life not only for me for for the other people around me. They noticed that I smile more. I have continued to feel happy for several days after.
I smile more. I have continued to feel happy for several days after.
Even while I was driving the next day I was more compassionate to rude drivers. I did not feel any sort of hangover though I was a little physically tired.

Exp Year: 2008ExpID: 69957
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Mar 11, 2021Views: 237
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MDMA (3) : First Times (2), Glowing Experiences (4), Depression (15), Hangover / Days After (46), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Alone (16)

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Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the individual authors who submit them.
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