Citation: tanmeercat. "Seduced and Screwed: An Experience with Tramadol (exp70025)". Erowid.org. Jan 13, 2016. erowid.org/exp/70025
I am 26 years old and have battled an addiction to all forms of opium for at least the last 8 years. I am an outstanding student, and I continue to excel professionally. I know there are plenty of fellow ďsuccessfulĒ junkies out there. I was clean for half of 2007 but then I relapsed and began using heroin and raw opium again on a daily basis. As always it started with something I managed to keep under control, but once a week turns into twice, then thrice and sooner than later itís all day every day.
In an attempt to kick the addiction on my own I phased out the IV heroin and maintained my habit by eating a few grams of raw opium daily. I did this for a month and a half and from there I quit the opium and managed my withdrawal symptoms by taking 6 50mg tablets of generic Tramadol twice daily. I can get 180 50mg pills legally for less than a dollar each any day of the week off the internet; usually it takes less than 48 hours. So Trams became my methadone and my whole plan was to follow the pharmaceutical companyís suggestion that I SLOWLY TAPER MYSELF OFF OF THE TRAMADOL-thus becoming opium free. However, QUITTING TRAMADOL IS NEXT TO IMPOSSIBLE!
I canít say I have ever even gotten high from the massive amounts of tramadol I gobble daily. However they do seem to provide some hard to describe underlying good feeling that makes life a little more tolerable, but this is on a scale that doesnít even approach the feeling of 10mgs of hydrocodone in the stomach of someone with no tolerance. I have battled addiction and I was winning, but I should have stayed away from Tramadol because it is useless for euphoria but just as addictive as the heavy duty opiates(i.e. oxy, fentanyl, morlhine). For me the stuff was too easy to get, due to its uncontrolled, and in some countries OTC, status I can legitimately obtain a week or month worth of pills with a credit card a a couple of right clicks.
I have experienced what it is like to quit. I went off of methadone/heroin/opium/suboxone (was alternating them all carefully to avoid the antagonist potentioal of the sub and done) cold turkey. Now sadly these useless little tramadol pills are running my life just like hard dope did. When I once managed to cut my use down to just 3 pills a day (and experienced the same discomfort I got when the doc cut my methadone allowance in half) it was too sickening to go any lower or without. When I did try to buckle down and make the final jump to abstinence, I quickly deteriorated into the same awful sickness I went through when I had to go without my precious golden brown.
Iím not sure how long the widrawal period is, because I donít know anybody who has managed to successfully quit after using tramadol pills for more than a couple of months. Stopping Tramadol has always burdened me with the same endless insomnia, diarrhea, cramps, agitated dry heaves, restless legs, extreme depression, anxiety, and urge to either cease to exist or stay on drugs forever. I have greeted many mornings with a nose bleed from the incredible wrenching strain of puking so hard my eyeballs fill with the blood from burst capillaries. Trying to quit tramadol left me fighting my body and mindís urge to gouge out my eyeballs with a spoon and smash my fingers to bits with a hammer so that I could rush to the E.R. and hopefully be judged worthy of one sweet shot of Hydromorphone from the white coated Gods of medication who dole out the nation's legal dope. The last time my Tramadol package didnít show up on time I had to score oxycodone until my pills finally arrived.
What I have written is just a simple warning. There have been dozens of times I thought I could keep the beast in its cage. Yet in the end it always get's out and always tears me limb from limb with little warning. Unfortunately in my case my family and friends long ago gave up on me, so when they do find out I am back addicted to a drug wether it is a scheduled narcotic or not ĖIíll be right back in the same hopeless lonely hell that heroin left me in, without even catching a buzz worth the 10 dollars I spend daily which along with a life of constant lies, has allowed me to maintain this incredibly stupid habit.
I WISH I NEVER BOTHERED WITH THIS STUPID TRAMADOL THE BENEFIT WILL NEVER OUTWEIGH THE COST OF MY DANGEROUS ADDICTION. I thought I could skip having to kick but this shit is no better than the really good stuff. Finally I also deal with the fact that when I end up having to ask someone for help(it has been needed every time Iíve gotten clean) telling people I somehow got hooked on such a useless little white pill, easily ranks as the dumbest thing Iíve ever done.
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