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Argument With The Universe
Salvia divinorum
Citation:   Casey. "Argument With The Universe: An Experience with Salvia divinorum (exp70102)". Erowid.org. Oct 14, 2016. erowid.org/exp/70102

 
DOSE:
50 mg smoked Salvia divinorum (extract - 10x)
BODY WEIGHT: 125 lb
I’m writing about a salvia trip I made seven or eight months ago. It was a powerful experience that I was extremely frightened of, but do not regret. The setting outdoors on a rather cool night during October. My friend and I became interested in Salvia and bought a gram of 10X extract off of the internet to give it a go. We gathered the necessary supplies (a small bong and a butane “torch” lighter) and prepared to give it ago, at around 10 pm. I settled down into a patio chair, lit some incense and played some music while he packed the bong. I was skeptical of salvia, not believing that it would affect me, yet still very hesitant.

When my friend handed me the bong, I packed it with a pinch (no idea how much I used. Probably .05 of a gram) and took a deep hit.

Held it.

Ten seconds.

Twenty.

Nothing.

Then suddenly, everything started spinning. I quickly passed the bong to my friend so I wouldn’t drop it. I could literally feel myself being sucked into the trip. I wanted out. I expelled the air from my lungs, trying to end the trip there, but it was no use. Then I was gone.

My eyes were open for the duration of the trip and fixed on the line where the trees met the sky. Everything that is said to me during my trip somehow seems to come from the trees. I don’t remember taking the salvia. I’m floating in space. I understand suddenly that the universe is an immense, complex machine designed for some purpose. The universe begins to speak to me. It explains that I have my own place in the machine. I’m a part designed for some purpose.

No, it’s not true, I tell it. I’m a person.

No, you’re not.

Yes….I try desperately to recall my life experiences. It hurts me to be told that none of my life was real. I remember my family, and tell the universe this.

It doesn’t reply, but somehow I know what it is saying to me. It is insisting, yelling at me. Telling me that I’ve never lived, and that my only place was in the machine.
No…my name is Casey. I remember that! I am a person!
I feel like I am being pulled out through the back of my body. I thrust myself back into it. The universe pulls me back out, but I use all my power to get back in. Every time I re-enter my body I feel a sharp pain. The universe is punishing me. This tug-of-war game goes on for a little longer, and then I feel my sober sitter push me back into my chair.

“Thank you. Thank you so much for putting me back in the chair. I would have fallen down.”
I’m more or less in my right mind. Still in tripping, but trying my damndest to get out of it. I try to stand again and he puts me back in the chair.
“Thank you. I know I shouldn’t stand up. Thank you so much for returning me to the chair.”
I’m suddenly very hot, so I remove my sweatshirt. For some reason I feel the need to warn my sitter of what I’m doing.
“I’m not trying to stand up. I’m just going to take my shirt off because I’m really hot, okay?”
The trip is over for the most part by this point, although I still feel intense paranoia and I fear that, at any second the universe could pull me back into the trip. I didn’t want that at all. I went to put the bong away in my car, but got very scared suddenly, and ran there and back to my friend.

In retrospect….
While I was arguing with the universe on whether or not I existed, I was actually verbalizing my thoughts. From my sober sitter’s view, I kept repeating “My name is Casey. My name is Casey. My name is Casey. I am on this planet!”
Also from the sitter’s view, every time I tried to “re-enter” my body, I actually began to stand up. Every time I stood up my shorts, which I had previously spilled bong water on, touched my legs. The wet shorts in the cold weather “burned” when they touched me and that is where I got the idea that the universe was hurting me when I tried to get back in my body.

Overall, I’m extremely glad I took the trip. It was insightful and it’s a great story to tell. However, it scared the living hell out of me and I still haven’t decided if I’d like to do it again. I’m considering trying a few smaller doses before working up the nerve to take a full hit again. It seems like the trip would be much more pleasurable if I could completely devote myself to it and let it take me wherever it wanted, rather than fight it.

Exp Year: 2007ExpID: 70102
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Oct 14, 2016Views: 1,428
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Salvia divinorum (44) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Entities / Beings (37), First Times (2)

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