Jazz Trip to Bad Trip
Citation:   theorm. "Jazz Trip to Bad Trip: An Experience with LSD (exp70308)". Erowid.org. Oct 21, 2018. erowid.org/exp/70308

1.5 tablets oral LSD (blotter / tab)
  1 hit smoked Cannabis (plant material)
It was a spur of the moment decision to take acid, which I realize now is not something that you should do with psychedelics. There was an enormous jazz festival at my school and my fiance Delyriem and I thought it would be incredible to watch a jazz concert while tripping. I had listened to jazz on mushrooms before and found it to be hilarious, and so I imagined that it would be a similar experience on acid. What I didn't take into account was the insane amount of stress in my life at the time, and although I know it's a bad idea to take psychedelics when stressed, I didn't really think about it. I had tripped on mushrooms a few times, and had attempted to take acid twice but both times it turned out to be DOB and I didn't trip hard at all because the dose had been too small. We decided to split 3 doses in case it was DOB again, so at least we'd trip a little if it wasn't real acid.

We weren't sure if we could get tickets, and didn't want to take the acid until we were sure we got seats, so we didn't take it until about half an hour into the concert. 20 minutes after we took it, it was intermission and I had a sinking feeling that we wouldn't come up until after the concert. However, I did start having some intense visuals a few minutes into the second half of the show, and everything started being abnormally funny. I felt like the musicians were all talking to each other with their instruments. I could understand what the musicians were saying, but knew that it couldn't be put into words. When one of the guest musicians started scatting, it got especially intense and confusing because he was using his voice without actually saying words and so it seemed like he was communicating with the instruments with his voice in a way that I realized no one else could understand except me and Delyriem because we were the only ones with the 'full experience' I thought. I felt incredibly happy, everything was so silly. As soon as the concert was over we stood up and realized we needed to get out of the auditorium immediately because I was in no state to run into people I knew and have to talk. I was just tripping madly.

We went back to Delyriem's room, and laid in his loft bed, just laughing about everything. We must have sat there laughing for about an hour, I honestly have no clue what we were talking about, but everything was hilarious. I remember saying things about having two voices, laughing voice and normal voice, because our voices sounded very strange when we were laughing constantly. I was getting some visuals but not as intense as I'd had on mushrooms. We watched the ceiling, the walls, and some optical illusions on his computer. His roommate was in the room, and he knew we were tripping, but then our friend ML came in, who didn't know either of us had done drugs. We tried to act as normal as we could but I could not stop laughing. ML was talking a lot about strange things that Delyriem and I found hilarious, and I had been staring at an optical illusion for a while so her body was swimming around and her face was twisting and melting and I had to pretend that everything was normal. She kept walking in and out of the room and every time she left we would crack up again, for no reason at all. Then she'd come in and we'd try to act normal. I was still having a lot of fun.

Our friend Aj had called earlier and wanted to know if we wanted to watch Fear and Loathing in las Vegas. We thought it was a good idea, so at this point we decided to meet her on campus and walk to town to another friend's house to watch the movie. We met up with Aj who was with another friend of ours. They were both sober, but had tripped before so they knew kind of what was going on for us. They said they had to stop at a few places first before going to watch the movie. I didn't really feel comfortable going to any parties, and said I wanted to stay outside and we'd wait for them.

As we walked through our small town, I felt like we owned the streets. Everything struck me so funny still, the way we walked through the town, kind of strutting down the sidewalk like we could do whatever we wanted. Everything Aj and our other friend were saying was so funny to me and I kept laughing at everything. I still have no recollection of what we talked about or why it was funny. It was inexplicably hilarious at the time though. We were going to our friend B's house, but he was at the house where a bunch of theater kids lived, playing beer pong. He invited us to come in and I said no, but he said everyone there would be cool with us tripping. I agreed to come in when he said there was a hookah, I wanted to smoke. We went inside and immediately I knew it wasn't the best situation. I saw a bunch of people I knew who I didn't want to know I was doing drugs. I tried to act as normal as I could and ignore that I was tripping.

This is when it started to go bad. I realized later that what set me off was trying to act in a normal way, because I couldn't figure out what normal was, and that got me freaked out. The party was full of drunk people, some talking to me. I tried to smile and laugh at the appropriate times, but I had to think really hard to decide when to nod or smile, etc. There was some sort of a bong going around, and I took a hit off of it. My lungs had never felt so strange, the flavor was not at all like what I imagined it would be and it was cold. Startled, I began to cough, and I suddenly couldn't remember what was normal in any sense of the word. I didn't remember how to breathe normally, and continued to cough every few seconds. My throat and lungs burned and every sensation was like I was feeling it for the first time. My tongue in my mouth, the way it felt to swallow...it was all new to me, and I still couldn't remember how to breathe. Delyriem asked if I needed water, and left to get me a glass. The moment he left I got sucked into my head. I was alone in a crowded room. My thoughts were uncontrollable, I had no clue what was going on.
I was alone in a crowded room. My thoughts were uncontrollable, I had no clue what was going on.
My body felt strange, I was staring into space. I didn't have any visuals at this point so I didn't really remember that I was tripping, I just knew that I felt very strange.

Suddenly I was outside, I don't remember getting up at all, just sitting on the porch outside. The whole thing was like a dream, like nothing I'd ever experienced in trips before. I was completely disoriented, lost in my mind, hearing people talking but not sure what was going on. I'd piece together things they'd say, but never was really aware of the conversation as a whole. Someone said something about sneaking to a car and I become paranoid, thinking we were hiding from someone. I heard the word 'acid' and suddenly remembered that I'd taken acid. A couple seconds later I forgot again, but remembered almost instantly. The same thought ran through my head every few seconds, 'oh yeah, I took acid. Why was everything so strange? Oh yeah. I took acid. Why do I feel so funny? Oh yeah. I took acid.' Then I realized that I was thinking the same thought and I became freaked out, stuck in a loop of perpetual realization.

Everything was a blur, suddenly I was at B's apartment on the couch, watching Fear and Loathing. The movie is hard to follow when I'm sober, but I had no clue what was going on. It was like Johnny Depp was explaining to me what had happened, and every time I heard the word acid in the movie I'd remember again that I'd taken acid, but was never sure if I'd actually forgotten or not since the last time I remembered. I never saw B leave the room, but he seemed to keep coming in the room over and over, sitting down on the couch. He joked that he had a trap door by the couch, and I knew he was joking but I didn't understand how he could keep coming in without leaving unless there was a trap door. Nothing made any sense. I was with Delyriem the entire time but felt distant from him. I was leaning on him while we watched the movie, but the entire time I was stuck in my head, not able to escape. I wanted to talk, and somehow get out of my head, but I didn't know what to talk about. I couldn't remember why I had taken acid. It was supposed to be fun to trip but this wasn't fun. I couldn't remember what it meant to trip. What was that feeling, was it a good one? Then I started getting visuals again and I remembered that visuals were a part of tripping. I felt a little bit of comfort once I started getting visuals because it helped me to feel like I was on a drug, instead of just a state of confusion. I still felt uneasy, and I kept trying to grasp onto the trip and make it fun like it had been in the beginning, just laughing. I would force myself to laugh at the movie, realizing that it was silly and didn't make sense. I knew the nonlinear fashion of the movie was messing with my head, but even though I knew the movie didn't make much sense anyway, I couldn't get out of my mind loop. I continued to feel uncomfortable but wasn't sure why I felt uncomfortable.
I continued to feel uncomfortable but wasn't sure why I felt uncomfortable.

I had to go to the bathroom, so I asked where the bathroom was, and B told me the second stall was the ladies' room, and something about the mens room having a dart board. Because it was a pretty normal apartment I thought he was being figurative or something, it didn't make sense to have a ladies' room. I wandered into the apartment, but couldn't figure out where to go. I walked into a few rooms, looking for a toilet. Finally I stumbled into a room that had two toilet stalls, like in a public bathroom. I stared at them, trying to figure out if I was in a dream...it didn't make any sense to me. I stood for a long time staring at the bathroom. Unsure of what to do next. My body felt strange, I wasn't sure if I actually had to pee or not, or what it felt like to have to pee or not have to pee.
My body felt strange, I wasn't sure if I actually had to pee or not, or what it felt like to have to pee or not have to pee.

[Erowid Note: Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. Don't do it!]
Eventually I went back to the room to watch the movie more but I couldn't handle being in my head so I told Delyriem I had to talk. We went in the kitchen and I told him I was in a bad place in my head. He tried to comfort me but somehow he still seemed far away. I didn't know what to talk about, I tried to explain how I was feeling but because my mind still didn't make any sense. I don't remember much else about being there, but eventually B said he'd drive us back. I remembered then that he was really drunk, and said that we could walk back. A few minutes later though I was in the car, forgetting again that he was drunk. We got back into Delyriems room, the first time since we left that I felt in a familiar place. I knew where I was and it seemed a little more normal. I thought it was about time that my trip was over, and I was hoping it would settle down soon. I kept trying to explain what I had been feeling to Delyriem, but as I would explain I would get stuck in my head again and would become afraid. I didn't know if it would ever be normal again. I was close to tears a few times, uneasy about everything that was going on. I wanted to sleep, but my mind wouldn't calm down. I tried to sleep a few times but would jolt back awake in terror after a few moments of restless sleep. I was laying next to Delyriem and wanted to be cuddling with him but I felt exhausted and couldn't get enough energy to pull him close to me. He was clearly worried about me and kept apologizing about me having a bad trip. He tried to bring us back to a silly place like the beginning of our trip but it seemed clear that he was too worried about me to enjoy himself very much.

I had to go to the bathroom again, and went upstairs. I told myself that I couldn't look in the mirror, knowing I could get stuck looking at myself. I washed my hands, avoiding myself in the mirror, but when I looked up to grab a paper towel I saw my cheeks move, kind of fluttering or twitching. I stared, trying to figure out what I'd seen and so I smiled at myself, and watched in awe as my cheeks moved abnormally fast and kind of shuddered. I began to stare at myself, and watched myself become cartoon-like. I was completely 2-dimensional for a while, then I suddenly realized that I was watching myself, and I was the mirror. I could see the real me through the mirror, but I was separated from myself. I don't know how long I watched myself, before realizing that Delyriem was probably worried about me. I walked back downstairs and Delyriem was at the door waiting for me, alarmed at how long I'd taken. I told him I got stuck in the mirror, trying to explain what I'd seen.

After laying in bed for a while longer, he told me he couldn't sleep and asked if I would stay awake with him. We got back out of bed and sat facing each other in chairs. I had intense visuals still, after about 7 hours of tripping hard. He started to look like the visuals in Fear and Loathing, his face was bulging in and out, in squares and circles. I couldn't see straight, and just wanted it all to end. I was tired of the visuals, I just wanted Delyriem to look like he normally did instead of a stretched out strange version of him. He kept looking cartoonish, and I could see all the colors in his hair instead of just brown, I saw green and purple strands that mixed to make what looked like brown. I had never had such intense visuals so far into a trip. It was starting to hurt my eyes because the intensity of the colors, and being unable to focus. Eventually around 6 or 7 in the morning I drifted off to sleep after many more terrifying failed attempts. I was afraid to sleep because I thought that because tripping was kind of like a dream, it meant that I would have to go through a few more hours of tripping before waking up to normalcy. I had an entire night of nightmares, and even when I woke up at noon the next day I felt disoriented and out of place. For a few hours after being awake I couldn't decide if my thoughts were normal again, couldn't figure out what it was like to be conscious. I was afraid that I would never wake up from the trip, that I would never be the same or figure out how I thought normally. I imagined becoming schizophrenic, kind of tripping for the rest of my life. Delyriem and I talked continuously about the trip, trying to work it out in my head what had happened and why I felt the way I did. Before going to sleep we had looked at a reputable harm reduction website's facts about LSD to assure me that I would be okay, and I kept trying to reassure myself. I finally started to feel normal in the late afternoon, able to sort my thoughts out.

I know now that I was way too stressed about life at the moment to have taken a psychedelic, and I realize that I should not take such powerful drugs so spur of the moment. Delyriem and I decided that we need a break from psychedelics for at least a while, which was really sad to decide, but we knew it was for the best until we felt ready again.

Exp Year: 2008ExpID: 70308
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Oct 21, 2018Views: 1,969
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LSD (2) : General (1), Difficult Experiences (5), Bad Trips (6), Music Discussion (22), Various (28)

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