Citation: Something Awful. "Relaxation Followed by Fear and Trepidation: An Experience with Cannabis (exp70409)". Erowid.org. Oct 23, 2017. erowid.org/exp/70409
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First off, some background. I'm 16 and a sophomore in high school. I smoked often when I was in middle school, 8th grade or so, so I was definitely not inexperienced with the ganja. I don't take any prescription drugs or medicines. I quit because I decided it was time to move on, and if I wanted to do any high school level athletics smoking would only hinder my abilities.
After two years of soberness however, my curiosity with the plant once again opened. At my school, it's not exactly hard to obtain ganja. Ask the right people and you will be hooked up by the end of the day, no questions asked. It helped that I know a lot of different stoners. I bought myself a dime the day I asked about it.
And now I had my little baggy full of THC. But what to do with it? I procrastinated and let it sit around for a few days. Then, one day, I skipped school and stayed home while everyone else was gone. Utilizing the great power of google, I found a crudely created diagram of how to create an apple pipe. After some fiddling around, I had my organic pipe ready to smoke out of. Only problem was, I'm an athlete. I run cross country, I wrestle, I run track - and now here I was, about to damage the very organ that enabled me to participate in these things.
I run cross country, I wrestle, I run track - and now here I was, about to damage the very organ that enabled me to participate in these things.
So, I tried mouthsmoking it. I held the hits in for ~30 seconds each and smoked a bowl this way. I tried blowing out my nose but this seemed impossible with mouthsmoking.
The effects were very light and undefined. Not anything like a normal marijuana high. This method was a failure.
So I turned to another method -- oral ingestion. After some more googling, I found out that THC binds to fat. It binds to alcohol as well, but I didn't have the patience nor the ingredients to create a bottle of green dragon. Plus I don't really like the combination of alcohol and THC, it's one or the other for me.
But what to bake? I had never baked in my life. I didn't have any brownie mix readily available. So I picked something so retardedly easy I couldn't possibly screw it up. Eggs. I had read that eggs don't really have enough fat content, so I would have to use a fair bit of butter.
So, the remainder of my sack sat in its hiding place for a few more days collecting dust until the weekend hit. On saturday, an opportunity arose. No one was home except for me. The eggs didn't take very long to create, although in a lapse I very nearly forgot to put the actual marijuana in. I estimate there was between half a gram and a gram left, and I dumped it all in. The ingredients included 2 eggs, a large slab of butter, a small bit of cheese, and my weed. After the eggs were done I went back up to my room and dined.
The eggs were the worst eggs I had ever devoured in my life. The amount of butter made them incredibly bad tasting. I noticed that a large nugget of weed was encased by cheese. I had not grinded the nugget nor had I spread the cheese. I forced myself to eat them, drank some milk and played on the computer.
To be completely honest, I really though nothing might happen. Everything I read suggested nothing would happen because of the way I prepared the eggs. Additionally, if anything did happen, I thought the experience might last a maximum of 12 hours. Completely wrong on both counts.
I put my dishes away and in my carelessness forgot about the substances which I had ingested. I continued gaming.
About 45 minutes after eating I noticed I was giggling and talking to myself like a dumbass. I was undoubtedly coming up. This surprised me, and I rolled with it. Maybe 10-20 minutes later my parents got home. Meanwhile, the effects were getting noticably stronger. It was getting harder to compose myself and everything was hilarious. I felt deeply relaxed, but at the same time I was highly uneasy, and on the inside, vulnerable. I started to freak out a little bit, which in retrospect, was extremely irrational. But that's what the plant did, it made me somewhat irrational. So what did I do? I told my mom, of course. She was caring and seemed happy that I had confided in her. She did not punish me, nor did she care that much, because she had to go somewhere. This calmed me greatly and all feelings of fear were gone.
This calmed me greatly and all feelings of fear were gone.
I continued gaming, enjoying the effects considerably. I felt like all the negativity in the world had disappeared.
My friend came over shortly afterwards. He brought his xbox 360, hooked it up to my internet, and we played Halo 3. Fun stuff. I had some of the craziest fucking matches ever. I confided in him as well that I was really fucking high. He called me an idiot or something along those lines, and I tried to explain it to him that it was okay because I had ingested the plant orally rather than smoked it, as we were both athletic. But we both lost interest in the subject as Halo consumed us. About five hours later, it was getting late and he left. I was still really high, but I figured I would come down soon, and it had been good fun with my friend, so I was ecstatic. After he left, I milled about for some time but could not really focus on anything.
Around 8 o clock, about an hour and a half after my friend left, Stargate Atlantis was on. I watched it with my dad, and it was the best episode I ever watched. Although I was high, I had no problems interpreting what the hell was going on inside the show, although my method of interpretation was altered greatly. This particular episode seemed very abstract to me, and I enjoyed it greatly. After it was over, I was feeling tired, so I decided to sleep and went upstairs.
I sprinted up the stairs like I normally do. Then, boom. I hit the top of the stairs and I noticed that I was still really high. It had been a good 10 hours since ingestion now. Why was I still high? How was I still high? And my damned heartbeat, it was so fast and loud. Running up those stairs had triggered the onset of a panic attack. For the moment I shrugged the fear off and tried to go to sleep in my bed. But my body felt very awkward, and my heartbeat was scaring me because it seemed like it was on overdrive. I continued to attempt sleep, but my room felt alien, like I didn't belong there. Then when I did begin to drift towards sleep, I would immediately bolt up with fear. Every time I came close to sleep, it felt like I was dying. It really sucked. The panic got worse. I was confused, scared and tired. Sleep would have saved me, but sleep was impossible.
And so for a few minutes, I turned the light on and I paced, trying to calm down. But it wasn't working. So, I told my sister what was happening. She sort of just told me I would be fine, and I agreed. But I was still panicking, and I continued to pace while the panic only got worse. I could not get a grip on reality. I became irrational. I can only imagine how pathetic I must have been.
In an effort to get a grip on myself, I took drastic measures. The fear of death inside of me was growing exponentially. I told my dad what I did and everything. He was annoyed that I woke him up, and against all odds, he didn't get angry. Instead he tried to calm me down. I felt like a child - irrationally scared and in need of someone bigger than myself for protection. And this made me feel guilty. In addition to all of the irrationalities, heavy fast heartbeat, and a complete lack of ability to focus on anything, I had the worst drymouth ever. It didn't matter how much water I drank. My thirst was a thirst impossible to satisfy. I knew my body was hydrated, because several times I had to piss extremely badly, and the pee was clear, and also voluminous. But still, the drymouth was incredibly bad.
So, me and my dad went on a spin, with the occasional stop to pee. We just drove around, and it was incredibly calming. We stopped at a gas station and got some munchies. After an hour or two of driving we went back home, and I had the best beef jerky I had ever tasted in my life. It was godlike. And boy was I high, a good 16 hours after ingestion now. And yet I still couldn't get to sleep, so I occupied myself with more videogames. Finally around 4 am in the morning, I got myself to sleep. I woke back up around 7. And what do you know, I was still pretty high. It kept coming in waves, and all I wanted was for it to stop. The experience was simply too powerful, and it was just so LONG.
The entire day was unenjoyable. I was still unable to focus, and still conscious of my heartbeat. I also had more minor panic attack. A good 30 hours after ingestion I was still feeling the effects pretty hard. Eventually it got late and I managed to get to sleep much easier this time. All positive effects from the experience had vanished around 10 hours after ingestion, when the first and biggest panic attack was triggered.
Luckily we didn't have school monday. I'm not sure if I was still high or not when I woke up, but I do know I still felt extremely off and unable to concentrate most of the day. The intensity and duration of the effects were completely unexpected, and I was caught off guard, allowing panic and fear to assault my vulnerable mindset. By Tuesday I felt mostly normal. It's also worth mentioning that I had sudden but easily controllable panic attacks related to this experience up to two weeks later.
All in all, this experience could've been positive, and it was for the first part of it, but the sheer intensity and duration of the effects dealt the rational part of me a knockout blow. I'm afraid to ever ingest ganja orally again, and if I do it will be a much lower dose. It has been suggested that my lack of tolerance due to being sober for two years may have had something to do with it. Chances are I'll just forget about this and move on, in my grand innocence.
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