Citation: 420time. "It Seems to Be a Waste of Money in My Case: An Experience with LSD & Citalopram (exp70560)". Erowid.org. Jul 13, 2017. erowid.org/exp/70560
Male, 22yrs and Female 27yrs
Author: Female 27yrs
F: I have missed my daily dose of citalopram 40mg hoping this will help the LSD do its thing.
I decided to take some LSD one night with my partner who we'll call R, we have 2 blotter tabs each. Both of us have previously taken acid with me usually getting very little effects. Neither of us have work the next morning. We chew these and swallow. Mood is positive, we're both looking forward to tripping. Some music we both like is playing. We both start smoking some cannabis buds together.
I start to feel some effects of coming up, a little lightheaded, excitable, I'm hopeful that its going to work, it seems to be definately working on R who tells me 'I'm tripping hard hon, seriously' with a worried look on his face and massive pupils, he's sweating and the beginning of a tremor seems to be beginning. He says 'I'm in the lounge aren't I' and I tell him yes he is and he's going to be fine and to try and relax and enjoy it. He looks a little dazed and confused. He tells me he's going to lie down on the sofa. He does this then goes quiet for a bit. I try to get into the music and I do for a couple of songs. I'm still not really feeling much effects from the LSD apart from a feeling that I'd get perhaps if I had been smoking hash or some particularly amazing weed, not a psychedelic effect in sight really.
R is telling me he's not well and that he's hallucinating far too much and that he needs help. I start to panic a little and my anxiety rises which makes my heart beat a little faster and I get a terrible feeling of confusion of what the hell am I going to do about this. I go over to the sofa and tell him that he's in the lounge, hes just tripping and that I'm fine and I'll look after him. He has the look on his face of a frightened child and he tells me that he's having out of body experiences and thinks he's gone insane and that he's going to die. I ask him if i should call an ambulance, he tells me to call his mother who is a health professional. I'm feeling a state of panic and a feeling as if someone is in my brain squeezing the front of my forehead because I have a distinct feeling of pain in that area. I call the mother who tells me off and then speaks to R for awhile then R speaks to his father and is saying things such as 'if it all ends tonight dad I love you' which sends me into tears which I am trying to hold back because R keeps saying 'why are you crying' 'I'm not coming back from this am I, I've gone too far' 'I'm lost' telling me he keeps seeing people in hell screaming and that sometimes he can hear them, and sometimes see them but not simultaneously. He also tells me he is seeing demons.
Mother is on her way after R begs and pleads with her to come and help. Mother lives 45 mins away. R stays on the phone to his father who tries to comfort him. I'm feeling worry and anxiety, a lightheaded feeling, alot of confusion, a headache, some disorientation. No hallucinations. R's mother is coming to our house while we have dropped 2 tabs of acid each. This doesn't help.
R's mother is coming to our house while we have dropped 2 tabs of acid each. This doesn't help.
R's mother has arrived, she is comforting him, he has his arms wrapped around her and is talking like a terrified child. This is the strangest thing to see. R is normally a little macho and confident and has been reduced to a scared child. He keeps repeating that he's scared and wanting reassurance that he's not insane. Mother is crying. I am crying. He tells us that he knows we're keeping the truth from him about his sanity.
I start to feel stranger with every look over to the couch at my partner and his mother. She is trying to talk to me and I'm not really comprehending what she's saying to me very well, but enough to give her somewhat of a satisfactory answer back. I seem to have trouble with longer sentences drifting off into a mumble. I keep feeling the urge to laugh and this makes my eyes water because I'm trying not to laugh. This makes R more worked up because he tells me he can see my tears. R keeps wanting to see proof of no crying and keeps wanting to touch our cheeks to make sure we're not crying. R seems terrified and is convinced he's staying this way. I am not so convinced, I'm just waiting for him to come down so she can leave and I can go to bed as my headache has escalated by now. I suspect this is from the stress of trying to be controlled amongst all the chaos. I have had headaches most of the times I have had acid before though which I attribute to the SSRI's.
R seems to be coming down and is almost capable of a basic conversation. He is still hallucinating. Still hugely dilated pupils. Me not so much. Mother waits till he seems to be tired out and able to speak coherently again. I feel less disoriented than before but still lightheaded.
Mother leaves, R seems to be back on this planet. R is utterly convinced he almost lost his mind and will never take any A class drugs again. I feel a little irritated that I had such a bland trip but I don't show this to R. We both go to bed and have sex which is rather amazing. My sense of touch seems to be highly sensitive but an orgasm was elusive because I was just so overwhelmed by the sensations. R orgasmed without any problem.
We both fall asleep with no problem.
We both wake up and discuss the night before. I decide to take another trip hoping that I can have a better one than the night before. I take two blotter tabs. I smoke some cannabis.
Nothing happening at all. I take another blotter tab. Smoke some more cannabis.
Didn't trip, had a headache the whole time pretty much.
All in all, I think a reassessment in whether LSD is for me will have to be once I am completely off the SSRI's. Because I feel that there really isn't much point in doing this as it seems to be a waste of money in my case. I know the acid was good, because with R having out of body experiences from the same dose and for me to have nothing happen shows that it must come down to the SSRI's being in my system.
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