Citation: Elliot. "Tweaky: An Experience with Caffeine (exp70562)". Erowid.org. Jan 3, 2017. erowid.org/exp/70562
Sorry for the lack of organization, caffeine tends to have a fragmenting and scattering effect on my writing (TANGENTS!!)
A little history report on my psychoactive past, to get things rolling. While I do have an addictive personality, I've never really had any sort of problem with addiction to substances. This may be because of the mindset I have when approaching drugs and pharms; I don't experiment with drugs for euphoria or any of their mind altering effects for enjoyment
I don't experiment with drugs for euphoria or any of their mind altering effects for enjoyment
(by and large, thought there are exceptions), I experiment with drugs for exactly that reason, experimentation. That is why I have done many drugs, with very few repetitions.
This is also why I have a HUGE hunger for pharms, for psychological/neurological disorders, specifically. While they are effortless to feign (no physical manifestations) I actually have been diagnosed and medicated (in the past) for, depression, ADD, Anxiety, Disordered eating, and hypochondria (the last three being related). So I've had adderall (which was delicious, btw), wellbutrin (pretty yummy too, with the exception of the first few days), prozac (hydrolyzed-devil-secretions-- I cannot stand this pharm, it dulls and muddles my thoughts. Aka: hell.), stratera (meh, nothing extraordinary) and vicodin (though it was for 'in-case-of-cluster-headache'... And I don't like it, my thoughts don't connect well.)
At the moment I am not prescribed anything, as such, I have been self medicating (on & off), with caffeine tablets. And they actually give quite a pleasant experience. No hunger, a touch of hypomania (always good), quick-racing thoughts, the occasional overwhelming euphoric experience (which includes unexplained smiling episodes and laughing fits. These tend to come with the high doses.).
The downside however, is great: rapid increase and decrease in tolerance, odd sleep issues. When I am awoken suddenly I continue having ludicrous-dreaming thoughts, for up to ten minutes even though I am awake and active. I babble. I was woken up for orchestra, which I had been doing a good job of sleeping through, and my excuse was, 'sapphire'.. 'it's a gem'.. Yeah. Also, as with all caffeine use, I actually have a withdrawal, like severe headaches and such.
All in all caffeine is, at least in my view, a good substitute for other more preferable chemicals if they are otherwise unavailable.
Ooh, word of warning: I am 6ft, and rather fat so my dosage is a little high, I'm also an athlete so my heart is accustomed to ridiculous stroke volume and rate.
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