Citation: Vordo. "Learning How To Fast: An Experience with 57 Day Scientific Juice Fast (exp7134)". Erowid.org. May 29, 2001. erowid.org/exp/7134
I went on a long fast/cleansing and what follows are my reflections upon that experience.
To me: you've lost a lot of weight.
Me: Yes I have.
To me: um, are you ok, you're not...um... sick?
Me: No I'm not.
To me: Was it intentional?
Me: yes it was.
Later, to my roommate: oh my god what is that boy doing, doesn't he know...
Yes I do know.
So quickly the facts: I fasted for a total of 57 days; that is 57 days without solid food. my intake was pretty much juice, tea and a vegetable broth that I cooked every other day or so. I transitioned in for 5 days and I transitioned out for the same number. thus I was doing the full on body/mind/soul cleansing thing for 67 days. over two months. I started on feb 6th and ended on april 13th. I feel better now than I have for years. really, I feel like I did in collage or perhaps even when I did in high school. that's pretty good for being 35. during the course of the fast I dropped about 50 lbs and I have since gained back about 10.
So why did I do it? why is a big question. it can applied to so many facets of the world and often it isn't a simple one to answer. so why did I fast, or rather what has come from it; I say that because why I started it (then) and why I finished it (now) are perhaps a bit different. perhaps it's like when one decides to go to burning man, you hear all these crazy stories about wild debauchery in the desert, or you see some images and you are like, wow, that's really beautiful, stunning, I want to see that for real. the reasons you go for (the party, the stories, the sheer madness of it) and why you really went (the community, the environment, the people, ok and yeah, the sheer madness of it...) change, evolve through the act of the journey.
So you decide to go: you prepare by talking to those who have gone before, you read up on the subject and then you find a guide. in my case that was fasting.com. no shit, it really was. can I recommend the program? duh of course I can; the fact that I went as long as I did should be proof positive that the experience is pretty functional. and how? well, you don't fast for as long as I did without guidance, a sound and logical program (called scientific juice fasting) and a great deal of patience.
First of all, what I thought the experience was going to be and what it was like were very very different. I had a fair amount of fear: of hunger, of pain, of failing and of fucking up (I worked on a film during the fast including a scoring session in seattle.) the truth is none of my fears came to pass. not even close. my goals were about having an experience, losing weight, getting more in touch with my physical being; I felt I was becoming tired, a bit on the numb and dull side, I felt that I didn't want to become an miserable old person. prior to that I was working out, running and yoga and such but when I got busy all those gains pretty much dwindled away. I felt like I was using food as a narcotic, my weight to hide from myself and others, and more so than anything else I wanted to see if I could do it, you know, pull it off, somewhat like a small internal abstrakt zone.
I succeeded in my goals and then some.
My fears unfounded, the daily experience was more mundane than otherwise. the best way to think about it is sort of like planting seeds: for a while things just seem normal and then they start to change, slowly and then they eventually accelerate to a new understanding. thus, my experience still grows in it's profundity; I am living in a different world now. one that is simply easier, less burdened, more expansive, cleaner, clearer and full of life and energy. during the discipline of the fast I truly experienced the one to one interaction of the intake of bodily as well as emotional, spiritual and intellectual fuel. I also feel now that I am in fact a happier person: I get less disturbed by when things don't go my way, you learn trust that things happen because they are supposed to, not because you want them to. you experience that life isn't a series of goals, milestones or acquisitions, but a process of education and evolution. these are the true gifts of the fast.
There were moments when I could literally experience my mind opening. I found myself in a profound meditation about hunger and deprivation: not just of the physical but also of the spiritual, psychological, intellectual dependance upon the world around us. it would be easy to conclude that we shouldn't have dependance, but rather I came to understand that it is important to discover the pathways between need and desire: what we need and what we think we need are usually two very different things and when you discover the space between the two, you find a kind of freedom that comes from knowing that everything seems to happen because they are meant to. thus when you do such a meditation you find that you are healing yourself because you come to understand that trust is a form of solace, that patience is a balm, that physical health is a spiritual practice and ultimately things happen because they are meant to happen and the more you simply let them happen, the more open to, and aware of, and engaged with, the world, you become.
will I do it again?
What do you think.
Learning 'how' to fast, is one of the most profound tools that I have encountered to stretch myself as human being. I feel there was tremendous healing that occurred and tremendous exploration. I know the experience isn't for everyone, but it was definitely for me.
peace out, y'all.
And visit www.abstract-zone.com
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