DOSE:		oral	Belladonna	(tea)
	repeated	smoked	Cannabis

BODY WEIGHT:

200 lb

This is a combination of my 2 experiences with Belladonna. The first time, I probably used more in dosage than my second journey, which was ~0.8 oz, and no pot was involved. I don't remember so much from the first experience, but I feel that I should note the key memories. All that I know for sure is that I became increasingly disconnected with reality to the point that I had taken off all my clothes even though my roommate was in the house with me. I kept trying to take a basket into his room (I think it is a basket that stays in the bathroom, it has books in it), that I was convinced belonged to him, and every time I would get into the middle of his room, I would realize that I was naked, drop the basket and get the hell out. This was during the first night, and I can't really remember anything more from that night. The next day I was aware of my surroundings, but was still visually impaired. I could see hundred of bugs flying around in the air, and many spiders on the walls and ceiling, but I knew that only one of the spiders was real, a fact that I confirmed later (it used to dangle from the same spot for a long period of time last year, alway annoyingly close to the couch). Other than that, I remember that my vision was impaired for the better part of a week, to the point that I didn't leave the house because I didn't feel comfortable driving.

Onto my second journey. Earlier this spring, I decided to have another go with this curious plant. My preparation is fairly simple; I made a tea from ~1.5 Oz. of dried leaf material I ordered through mail. I also had some pot with me that I felt would make this experience somewhat smoother. I began drinking my tea, which I noted to be stronger than what I remember, although it was the better part of a year past. As to the taste, I truly believe that the only fitting word is death. It tastes like pure death, which really makes sense to me, as it's our brain telling us not to taste any more of it. I only ended up drinking a little less than half the cup, and I'm glad for it. I'm sure I would have smoked at least 2 bowls of pot, but after that point I can't say how much more, if any. I'll take this chance to impress on the reader, this beautiful lady is truly a trickster (as they tend to be in life), keeping in mind, this is not a trip. It is a deliriant, not a hallucinogen. This seems to be the mistake that many others make, at least according to my personal research into 'trip' reports.

Anyways, I once again have much less recollection of the first night of my experience (I started my journey in the evening on both accounts). I do remember deciding to leave my glass of death after getting about halfway though it, as I was already feeling a bit off. Afterwards I spent most of the night stumbling between my couch (where I decided to sleep), and the bathroom. I tried to drink water whenever I was in the bathroom, in an attempt to let my body naturally cleanse itself, but even small sips seemed foreign and vile in my body. I do think this helped me, and it was the only way I was able to eventually feel well enough to return to the couch. Before the sickness, I remember false visions that became exceedingly aggravating. For example, I would open my jar and proceed to carefully break up and pack my pot into my pipe, and then get my lighter to start a fire. But as soon as I tried to flick my Bic, my pipe and lighter would literally dissolve in my hands. Needless to say, I couldn't stand it, and it was because of these visions that I retired to my couch.

The next day was very much like my first excursion, though I felt I had a better grasp of what was going on. On a trip with hallucinogens, one might encounter floaters, or other sorts of 'energy' one perceives to be moving through the air. I realized that I was seeing floaters all around, except that they were black. These were the bugs I saw during my first 'trip'. I also continually heard voices calling to me, usually calling my name, and I know that experienced them during my first 'trip'. However this time around there was a much more personal connection; about half the time that I heard my name being called, it was the voice of my dear friend Jul, who died this past winter. Every time I heard it, I knew it was him, and I could feel his presence all around me. This reminds me, I also hear my aunt's voice during my first experience; she had died a couple years before, and was my closest relative outside of my nuclear family (in emotional terms). Before either of my 'trips' I read many reports because I am highly interested in the specific effects of every plant or chemical I try, and because it is necessary to my survival. I am now convinced that when this Nightshade doesn't kill you, it offers access to the land of the dead. I must stress that this is not an experience that everyone is ready for, or even meant to have. I myself began experimenting with DXM before anything else (I actually drank a whole bottle of cough syrup when I was 3-4 years old, convinced it would make me healthy because it was medicine, and repeated this experience when I got to college), which is a deliriant itself. However, many people do not enjoy being disconnected from reality, which is exactly what this plant will do, if it doesn't kill you for approaching it with ignorance.

I personally would not give up these two journeys; I have dabbled in LSD, mushrooms, Morning Glory seeds, nutmeg, cough syrup, and Ayahuasca to name a few. But I always devote at least a day or two of intense research (even if it's only on the internet) to whatever I risk ingesting, at which point I don't consider it a risk. I have grown from both these experiences; especially the latter, as I was shown that my friend is happy where he is. I am an Atheist, but I believe that our bodies are energy, and with death that energy must move somewhere. I was shown that he is living everywhere, but that he was very much living in me, especially due to the energy that I put into my love for him. I had a dream in the days afterwards, in which I was chasing my friend. I got to a point where I was so close to catching him, and a man stopped me; he held me by the shoulder and only shook his head slightly, but I could tell just by looking in his eyes that I wasn't meant to go forward. I was filled wih a sense of understanding and happiness, and it was like a weight was being lifted from me.

I suffer from manic-depression, with traces of it on my dad's side and with almost all of my mother's side suffering from bipolar disorder or just depression. I am most certainly on the path to alcoholism, as I've had excellent lessons in it from my mother. The world I live in is and always has been crazy and disturbed, to the point that delirium is sometimes a welcome refuge. I feel more normal when I am tripping acid or smoking pot than I ever did being sober for the years until I was 19. I'm 21 now, which unfortunately means that I can purchase alcohol legally. But I digress. My point is that Belladonna is not meant for many people. If you are keen for the truly dark and mysterious, than maybe, maybe you can learn something from it. And I do mean learn...neither of my experiences were pleasurable in any regard other than the insights I gained. The first nights on both accounts were most definitely fevers while my body tried to fight off the poison. So be warned.

Exp Year: 2007	ExpID: 71534
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: May 13, 2015	Views: 8,596
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Belladonna (9) : Entities / Beings (37), General (1), Alone (16)