DOSE: T+ 0:00	2 hits	oral	LSD	(blotter / tab)
T+ 0:30	2 hits	smoked	Cannabis

BODY WEIGHT:

180 lb

I was so nervous to see acid in person. It's minuscule and not intimidating at all. I didn't expect it to be that way but it's just so not noteworthy, especially for such a powerful thing. The original sheet of blotter had an image of a Pink Floyd album.

Physical effects:
My hands were very warm and clammy, kind of gross. I was almost shivering I felt extremely hot when I felt my forehead even though I was actually pretty cold. My temperature was 96.5, normal for me. I had a very weak pulse and low blood pressure. My friend BC, who didn't trip with us, tried to find my pulse for what seemed like 10 minutes. He was boggled. I had a very hard time getting comfortable, especially with my legs. I felt very nauseous too.

Preface:
I've been interested in psychedelics for many, many years. I always had a feeling that I would try it once. I had no idea what to expect, regardless of how many experienced I'd read. LSD comes with such a crazy connotation. I talked to a few people personally that have used too and the reactions were mixed. Some loved it, some thought it was horrible, some preferred mushrooms because they are natural. When Friday came, I was so extremely anxious for it. I thought about how maybe I would have one of those life changing moments many people talked about.

The beginning:
A and I took two hits at 8:15. I started to feel mildly drunk about 30 minutes afterward. I just seemed a bit off and different. I started to get really disappointed because I wasn't feeling anything except for that subtle effect. I was really, really anxious for something to happen. We all (me, A, D, BC, and J) played Rock Band for a while, switching instruments and turns. I seemed to be pretty good and that surprised me. I opened a page on a community website I'm on to see if anyone had experienced nothing after taking LSD. BC went to go pick up some pot. Smoking pot while taking LSD seemed sort of wrong, unpure. I agreed to smoke though since I started to feel like the acid was bogus. Maybe it got wet or someone touched it? J had taken some from the same sheet and vouched for the potency. Oh well, live and learn, right? We sat at the dining room table and smoked that for a few minutes.

Afterwards, J mentioned watching Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Everyone agreed so I set the movie up, putting it on pause so we could start it easily once everyone got into the living room. I think I did that and went back to the dining room; I'm not sure. I look at the TV and see Jon Reep and then freak the fuck out. 'OH MY GOD THIS IS THAT GUY WE SAW IN HAROLD AND KUMAR. REMEMBER REMEMBER?!' I run over to the living room and restart the show. This comedian is one of my favorites and I've seen that episode many times. Comedy was just the key to unlock my anxiety about when the acid was going to kick in. Obviously, it had affected me but I didn't notice it. Two hours went by before I turned on this show and I had no idea where the two hours disappeared to. So A and I are watching Jon Reep and he turned into the funniest thing I've seen in my life. I don't think I've ever laughed sooo hard. The entire house kind of gets pissed at me for being so loud, 'Can the rest of us watch the show?' Hah, whoops. No visuals yet.

Everyone settles in the living room and we start Fear and Loathing. The acid is definitely kicking in now full force. I couldn't understand anything that was happening. Things that seemed like they should be funny weren't and things that weren't funny were to me. The scene in the hotel with the dinosaur characters absolutely destroyed me. It was the scariest thing I'd ever seen. I shook my hands and said 'I don't like this at all.' After that scene was over, I calmed down. By now, it was probably 10:45. BC left shortly after the movie started, I thought it was because how I was being very annoying. In reality, that probably wasn't it since he was there for several hours.

The movie seemed to go on and on for eternity. I thought 'When is this going to end?' I wasn't really paying attention to it but it made me uncomfortable at the same time. After that, D, A, and I watched a few videos on Youtube: Devin Townsend, Meshuggah, and Faith No More. I normally find Meshuggah annoying and never listen to them but I thought that particular song was enjoyable for its aggression and rawness. The video was also pretty funny. The Devin Townsend one sort of triggered all my introspective thoughts. I was thinking about how nice Devin seemed and how it was like he was talking directly to me. I had a thought, something about how all souls are one entity in different parts and that's why I felt so connected to Devin Townsend. I came to the conclusion that there definitely was no god but perhaps souls do exist. That could explain some kind of phenomena. Perhaps the soul exist in all of our cells, like some organelle and used for a function and purpose. I don't even know. I'm not spiritual at all; the whole subject pretty much gives me the heebie-jeebies but maybe this experience opened my mind a bit. Mike Patton was also probably the sexiest person on the planet to me then.

Evolution:
I got on the internet and saw where I started to write about how I wasn't feeling anything on IAM. I promptly wrote 'Oh, fuck. I came to this forum while I was doing LSD for the first time. I was about to type 'this shit aint working' but it seriously is now. hahah what the fuck.' A and D (who was sober) talked about music for a while and then came another introspective thought. I was thinking about how I do love D even though we don't get along too well, how he seemed to really enjoy A's company, and how the definite end to our relationship would be good for him.

I realized how much I resented D for a lot of things, some of which wasn't really his fault and I certainly contributed to a lot of it. Things like how negative he is is linked to how unaffectionate I am. Before that night, I couldn't tell you the last time I said 'I love you,' or gave him a hug or kiss without him initiating it before sex. That started from getting pissed at him for his extreme anger, for example, on top of my own stressors. I shut down (this began to happen several years ago) and then he spiraled into even a more negative state. This was one of my realizations. I really do feel like if we aren't together, we would be great friends and we honestly can be friends still. We just are not right for each other and that's fine!

Now it's after midnight and D's mom was still not home. I decided to call to check up on her. The 4 rings to get to her voicemail seemed to stretch on for ages. I got to her mailbox and said in my mind 'Hey K, it's Nilsine. I'm just calling to make sure you're okay.' Of course, it did not come out that way at all. It seemed like I had no control over my voice, the pitch or volume or words. I said something like 'K?! It's Nilsine! Are you ok?! Why aren't you home?!' I called back a few minutes later but I had to scrunch my face into the wedge between the phone base and the wall. I started to see shadows dancing around me, like someone was circling behind me and through the wall. I don't know how that message went since I don't remember. I know by then I was acting pretty erratic. K came home about 30 minutes after I called her. She rolled a very horrible joint.

We started to watch The Darkness, just flipped it on in the middle of the movie. Every time the movie returned from a commercial break, I seemed to always get a lightbulb in the head affect and remember we were watching it. It was like a forgot once I wasn't looking at the screen. The movie didn't scare me at all except for a few times. I was mainly confused. After that movie was over, I turned on What Dreams May Come. That movie became the most depressing, loathsome thing in existence. I sort of cried to myself. I just couldn't imagine going through Hell to find my lover or experiencing the emotion Robin William's character felt. At that time, I felt like I was feeling exactly what he was, how devastating it must have been for him.

After that, A and I chatted for a bit. I'm not entirely sure what else happened or what we talked about. Time didn't exist. All throughout the night, A wrote on sticky notes. Whenever she wrote something, nothing in the world existed but the sound of the marker going across a page, it was 'the loudest thing in the fucking world.' When I would go to the bathroom, I could make out naked bodies in the wallpaper pattern. The linoleum floor looked like extremely clear glass with flowing water underneath. Lights, especially in the bathroom, were extremely bright and blue-tinted. Once time, I closed my eyes and I was in Iowa in a sunflower field, flying. I don't know what that was about.

When the sun rose, I realized I had to clean up the place before D's mom woke up. It took me forever to get motivated and it was very hard to me to organize my thoughts and the process of cleaning seemed so arbitrary. I cried a little bit over the dishes about how I felt about D, how I do love him but how I think we're heading for our separate ways, possibly soon. I thought about how I'll always be his first love of his life and we'll both be okay. I cut up an apple since I realized I hadn't had anything to eat but pizza earlier that night and a banana that morning. My jaw was so tired and it took me so long and so much energy to eat it.

The beginning of the end:
The time came when A had to leave to head back to Orlando, a good 45 minutes away. Walking outside to her car made me feel like I had just been in a war for 10 years. The world seemed so strange and different. We talked about whether or not we would take acid again, and we both agreed that we would. The whole world seemed so beautiful at that moment, literally and emotionally. The sky was so clear and blue. Taylor woke up and asked me if I was high. I said 'I took LSD.' The look on his face was hilarious, like he was devastated. He said 'I didn't know there was acid in this house,' then went out the garage door. I said 'It's not like fucking heroin!' and laughed.

I went back in the house and listened to music, mainly Katatonia. Jonas's voice seemed so clear and right. I also watched a video with Mike Patton and Bjork. Bjork was speaking Icelandic and at that moment, I felt like I could understand what she was saying without reading the subtitles. K asked me to the get the mail when she woke up so I gladly agreed so I had an excuse to go outside. That was 12 hours after the first hit but I was still definitely tripping, no doubt about it. After I turned to corner to the main road, I saw the biggest turtle of my life. Not a big surprise since we live in front of a lake. I was absolutely frozen, thinking that if I moved, it would jolt up and poison me. I then made the decision to scuttle across the road and just not think about it. The walk to the mailbox took so long. The dirt is turns very soft about 10 feet before you hit pavement. It seemed like I was walking in mud even though it was dry. I could hear sloshing and the sound of my feet hitting puddles. The world seemed absolutely strange. When I got home, I felt like I needed to confess to K what was going on. She was shocked, then laughed and told me about how she took mushrooms when she was 17 and she thought her car was brand new.

I went on the internet for a bit but it looked too bizarre and off so that activity lasted only a few minutes. I got a nosebleed and let it drip on my shirt. I was just fascinated at the color of my blood. I've always been like that. I mean, what can I say? I love the visual of blood and I'm not grossed out by it at all. I love it. Wow, I sound ridiculous.

I went to bed. This was about 3:00 PM. It took me forever to fall asleep. I could not get comfortable at all and I was hot and cold at the same time. I ended up sleeping about 15 hours but waking up every hour or so. That sucked.

It was extremely worth it. I always tried to grasp the idea that LSD is life changing and I definitely experienced that, especially with the outlook on my relationship with D. It was absolutely amazing but I'm not sure I can write anything that could convey that.

Exp Year: 2008	ExpID: 71554
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jan 12, 2022	Views: 596
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