Heart Matrix - Overload
Citation:   Tryed-It. "Heart Matrix - Overload: An Experience with 2C-B (exp71783)". Erowid.org. Aug 15, 2008. erowid.org/exp/71783

  oral 2C-B (capsule)
I had an experience with what I was told, and what I assume, was 2CB in 2003. The dosage was one capsule of white powder; the strength and purity were unknown, but very, very strong by me. I received the cap at a regional event from a very trippy, warm-hearted inner-circle brother, and didn't know then to ask for a lot of detail to report later.

The onset was gradual over the course of several hours, building to a level that was far beyond manageable even in the company of warm- and good-hearted friendly folks. Since I didn't have any timepiece with me, it's impossible to say how long it all lasted, but I will say that the after effects were on the order of a MONTH, which I'm only aware of because I didn't trip at all for a long time after what I'm going to try to describe. My concentration may have been permanently shaken to pieces by this overwhelming experience; during the months that followed, it was on the order of a split second before synaesthetic effects and a weird metaphysical hum and detachment returned.

The actual trip took place mostly around a very large, purple-hot, swarming campfire with about 10-15 people ranging from sober to also tripping on 2CB to... well, I don't really know who was on what. Ages from teen to mid 60's. None of these people were familiar to me beyond a few weeks prior. The other fellow on 2CB looked like a troll doll cartoon character to me throughout the night, and I kept laughing insanely and inappropriately at his comments; fortunately, an older sister was there to handle my inability to communicate with him as I was offending the brother and creating a strange vibe.

During the major effects, which had the same 'strapped to a freight train; head-held-underwater' trajectory as the other mescaline-like synthetics I've tried since, I was unable to speak. Synaesthesia was overwhelming; words and sounds from the fire and surroundings all mingled into a meaningless soup as I was meanwhile 'communicated to' in a wholly unaccountable manner and on more familiar psychedelic grounds in the visual realm. Thoughts died within a few words. The fire was deeply alive, a passed candle from the Big Bang, the epicenter of the life of the event, and wonderfully beautiful, cast into patterns that had a tiled-diamond quality I'd expected from an experience with peyote mescaline the year before.

The 'centerpiece' of what was novel for me was a visual realization: I could see people's hearts beating. They appeared as 3D white-rainbow crosses, like an XYZ axis, cubical in dimension, and centered around a 'star' of original Big Bang energy. All of these centers were connected in a profound 3D web that 'oozed' and pulsed all around the fire, in mid-air. Tracking these lines with my eyes became a major preoccupation. I have only experienced these crosses on a few other occasions - once on mere marijuana, smoking with some people that I'll assume have smoked crack, and the other was on a misadventure with crack itself. The crosses then were not centered in people but pouring in great scads off of some unseen, omnipresent source of all things, described elsewhere as 'chasing a squid.'

I want to be sure not to give the impression that this was pleasant, although it had metaphysical and religious significance. As in other reports here, I spent the entire experience overwhelmed by a frightening, 'you may be broken,' loss of control that made all possible focii of my attention upsetting. I think many people who haven't had experience with mescaline would find this experience 'beyond overwhelming.'

I was never much unconscious or closed-eyed; it was definitely 'speedy' although this description seems less accurate than 'unignorable and constant.' Unlike with strong salvia extracts, where the sense of having just pieced everything back together from a completely different world makes for massive confusion, here there was a very significant sense that I had just seen THIS world as it 'really' is - and I have since learned that it 'really' is both things - and being unable to experience it, socially, visually or in any way whatsoever, in the old, familiar, communal, not-insane way. My premonition was right, as within about a year of this experience I went temporarily but totally insane and have since learned to live with what I'll describe as the loss of my left brain dominance and total immersion into the dream-like right brain state.

I was deeply afraid for my sanity throughout the major effects and experienced profound ego death over the course of thing as I realized the craziness of my pride. I concluded after this experience that I am too sensitive to handle these kinds of ultra-intense, ultra-prolonged trips, and further experimentation only confirmed that this trip alone (or possibly my experiences with salvia) have left me rather too fragile and mentally scattered to handle life as a serious psychonaut. Realizing this during the course of the trip brought about a profound loss of self-esteem - for the first time, I felt I was in over my head.

As soon as some of the older heads realized from my expressions and strange, out-of-the-blue communication attempts that I was overdone, they plunked me on the ground beyond the fire area to watch the sky. This was much more pleasant and manageable and familiar from other experiences; I 'lowered through generalness' until I was the face of the Earth, and felt the deeper overall safety of reality even as I was blasted into deep space. I could see planets' and stars' trajectories clearly. It was quite beautiful.

Overall, NOT AT ALL for the faint of heart or the inexperienced. At this point I had tripped only, perhaps, 30 times. I would recommend working very gradually up to such an experience as part of the training of a committed psychonaut on a road somewhere, but otherwise not. :P

Exp Year: 2003ExpID: 71783
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Aug 15, 2008Views: 15,686
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2C-B (52) : Nature / Outdoors (23), Difficult Experiences (5), Small Group (2-9) (17)

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