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My Infinitely Recursive Friday
by gram
Citation:   gram. "My Infinitely Recursive Friday: An Experience with LSD (exp72237)". Jun 8, 2018.

T+ 0:00
1 hit oral LSD (edible / food)
  T+ 1:30   smoked Cannabis (plant material)
  T+ 1:30 1 cart. inhaled Nitrous Oxide (gas)
  T+ 4:30 1 cart. inhaled Nitrous Oxide (gas)


Background: Prior to this experience I had been with Betty-Sue and known Joe and Sarah (another couple) several months. We had taken E a few times together and shrooms twice, but I never had a good (or strong) trip before this. I had read a lot on psychedelics in general, and was most impressed by Stanislav Grof's writings at the time.

T-7:00/ 10:00 AM- Shortly after waking up, I find out from Joe we're taking acid today. How exciting! I'm nervous, so I read, my book at this time being Gravity's Rainbow by Thomas Pynchon. Lots of interesting, trippy themes.

T-0:00/ 5:00 PM- Out comes the acid, and we dose. We all (Joe and Sarah, Betty-Sue and I) get a sugar cube with a strong hit on it, and Joe and Sarah each take an additional tab of blotter. Joe and Sarah leave to get some marijuana, and Betty and
I sit around reading with some music on. I feel antsy but manage to focus my attention on my reading and just about forget the strange, strange chemical I just ingested.

T+1:00 - I get up to go to the bathroom and by the time I get there I am feeling a little trippy. The night light in the bathroom is moving away from the wall and back. My reading back at the couch is a touch slower than normal, but my comprehension feels improved somehow. I feel serene.

T+1:30 - Joe and Sarah burst into the apartment in a wave of excitement, bearing nitrous oxide chargers and some fine quality marijuana. They love them some acid, and the feeling is contagious. I am definitely enjoying myself, and feel ++ after partaking in a bowl and a whipit. As I come down from the nitrous, I remark that I feel like Moses. Before long, my first negative thought creeps in- that we, as humans, experience only an infinitesimally small spectrum of the universe. I recognize the negativity building and with minimal effort steer myself to cheerier subjects, something I could never do on mushrooms.
I recognize the negativity building and with minimal effort steer myself to cheerier subjects, something I could never do on mushrooms.
The visuals are subtle and geometric- simple pattern seeking and tessellation on the walls, and everything breathes a little bit. I am not wearing my contacts and cannot see very far with any precision. I feel a definite sense of buddhist detachment, also unlike my previous experiences with mushrooms. I also happen to feel very close to Betty. Any timestamp after this point is my best guess.

T+2:30 - The apartment is beginning to get too intense, so we head out to the nearby park. My depth perception is off, and manhole covers seem to rise two feet out of the ground. The grass is made of spinning fractals, and I see the neighborhood we are walking through as a personality, though my head is remarkably clear.

T+2:45 - As we cross the last street to the park, the acid shifts to the next higher gear. Walking anywhere seems to take an interminable amount of time as we circle the park, which seems to be bigger than normal, not to mention more beautiful. The water tower is painted with giant brown spots in such a way that it looks like it is pushing up out of the earth, its skin being stretched out from the ground. We all lay out under a tree in what I imagine is typical hippie fashion. Betty and I lay straight on the ground. There are burrs and ants, but I don't really mind. Visuals are beginning to overcome my sight, and the fractal branches of the tree above me are whirling. I have some closed eye visuals, but they seem to lack any real meaning or importance so I dismiss them.

T+3:00 - 'The question is one of identity.' And so it begins. I turn my attention inwards, through senses that stretch all the way through infinity and back. I let the tessellated spirals of tree above me, Betty's weight on me, and the various tactile sensations of the grass wash over me in a detached way. Utter calm and lysergic bliss. So this is what it is.

T+3:30 - The sun is setting, and the MEANING is starting to set in as well. Random words and sentence fragments from the sparse conversation are the capstones to immense and significant arcs of thought that I pursue one by one.
Random words and sentence fragments from the sparse conversation are the capstones to immense and significant arcs of thought that I pursue one by one.
Betty points out the setting sun. 'Can't you see it?' The sun is the genesis of truth and beauty, and I feel silly for not seeing it before. Betty has a golden glow over her skin, and her face is clear and perfect, though it is hard to see clearly. I think she has two mouths, and I say so, immediately realizing my double entendre (sexual overtones) as everyone laughs. At this point I begin to become aware of the infinite recursion of thoughts, feelings and emotions. Any thought can exist on its own, stretching off into an infinite meaning. Eyes Open and Eyes Closed are pretty much the same now. Around this time, I become the archetypical man, Betty the archetypical woman. In this Garden of Eden space or non-space we have, we exist in a perfect fullness of love. I hear Joe remark of my condition, 'It's like a child learning to run' or something similar. I had forgotten about our friends! They must be a part of this understanding too! My perception of this state widens a notch, as the concept undergoes another recursion. Human = Us = Love = I =???

Betty is now asking me the most important question: Am I (we) god? I cannot bear to hold the concept, and shy away from answering. Each time I stand on the threshold of the thought, I back away, and she asks if I love her. I do, and we merge in infinite bliss as we kiss. This happens a few times. I hear a gasp after some time, and it becomes a tremendous release from an emotional barrier. It was Sarah who gasped. 'I just did a WHIPIT' she exclaims. It had been ~2 hours since any of us had so much as seen a whipit. How odd! Shortly thereafter, we all find the ability to stand and move around.

T+4:30 - Back at the apartment, Betty wants to discuss something heavy with me, but we are unable to get some time alone. In the bathroom she waits for me to finish so she can go, and I apologize for taking so long, and she accepts. Immediately after this exchange I realize that she vocalized the apology and I voiced the acceptance! How exceedingly peculiar! We take more whipits and smoke more cannabis, as I contemplate the Question. I cannot bear to let go of my 22 years. It cannot have been an illusion! The Question then becomes a plea to leave the apartment, and we decide to do so in the middle of a whipit. We burst out, laughing and screaming, wielding a bubble wand and hastily applying shoes, running down the stairs and slamming the door. We walk around the university campus, blowing bubbles and being a little confused.

T+5:30 - The question of godhood is beginning to lose its meaning and grip over my ego. I drink a little of a pina colada from the corner store, and its taste is perfect communication of pure experience and a flashback to the peak. Communication binds us as one entity!

T+ 6:30 - We are coming down at the apartment. Lounging, smoking, eating very cheap tex-mex food. Remembering and remarking, wandering around aimlessly, trying to read.

T+12:00 - Finally, I drift off to sleep on our poor, deflating air mattress.

Overall impressions: Acid is awesome. Love, peace, unity. I feel a greater experiential understanding of consciousness in the Buddhist sense.

Exp Year: 2008ExpID: 72237
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Jun 8, 2018Views: 1,351
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LSD (2) : General (1), Glowing Experiences (4), Small Group (2-9) (17)

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