Citation: Mike. "The Love Drug is Well Named: An Experience with MDMA (exp72355)". Erowid.org. Mar 21, 2018. erowid.org/exp/72355
I tried Ecstasy a few days ago, on the fourth of July during a small party. I came with my friend and at first the only plan was to smoke weed through an epic bong belonging to one of the other party goers. After smoking several bowls the decision was made to buy some Ecstasy for a few of the people there. However, the availability of the ecstasy, and probably the holiday setting, encouraged everyone to take some, including myself (I had always had a mild interest in trying Ecstasy). I took a single blue tablet which my friend pronounced as “pretty pure.”
During the onset everyone drank Sunny D and engaged in conversation. I was told to “forget about taking the pill” in order to roll faster, which I did fairly effectively once we began smoking more weed. The roll started very abruptly, yet at the same time, it hit me softly, and was very pleasant. I started really rolling about 30 minutes after taking the tablet.
The sensation is a little hard to describe; a paragraph of text usually can’t do justice to the feeling of rolling. The most basic part of rolling is a mild sense of general euphoria; I felt very content with the state of things and practically nothing bad fazed me. There was mild loss of motor coordination, but nothing as severe as the kind associated with alcohol. I was also in a very stimulated and aroused state, despite having been awake for the last 12 hours without so much as a nap.
A loss of inhibition like the kind you get with alcohol was also present, although the kind of the things said were always 100% positive, practically glowing compliments or praises. Everyone and everything was beautiful and perfect the way it was
Everyone and everything was beautiful and perfect the way it was
, and simple objects like trees, blankets, and my friend's bong were significant enough to earn my love.
Which is nothing compared to the love I felt towards people. In a room full of seven or eight rolling individuals, there was no negativity or selfishness at all. I felt the most selfless and compassionate I have ever felt while I was rolling; annoying tasks like cleaning up someone’s puke and buying cigarettes for my underage friends were performed virtually without a second thought. One moment (actually comprised of about a 20-minute period) occurred where everyone in the room just stopped talking and looked from one person to the next, slowly smiling in admiration of how awesome everyone was. People who annoyed me before were now the coolest people in the world, and the friend I came with (one of my best friends) felt unbelievably important to me; I hoped so strongly and sincerely for him to be happy that I’m not even sure I can properly describe the sensation.
Also, I discovered the reason why getting Ecstasy is called “rolling”: the entirety of the roll was composed of waves of pleasure. The first wave was pretty mild, and was followed by several minutes of relative sobriety. The second wave was more noticeable and followed a few minutes later by a less intense version of the same good feeling. The entire night consisted of increasingly intense waves of pleasure until after the peak, where the trend reversed somewhat: the waves of pleasure were still intense and felt very good, but they got weaker in intensity from then on.
The negative effects were fairly mild; I got fairly dehydrated based on the color of my pee, but I was drinking water or Sunny D for the entirety of the roll so I never got lightheaded or thirsty. I also experienced a loss of hunger during the roll and the days after. Finally, I experienced a tendency to clench my muscles, particularly my jaw and leg muscles.
Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. Don't do it!]
We never went to sleep; around four AM we took my friend’s car out on what we termed an “adventure,” which consisted of driving a few blocks to a park, smoking a cigarette while listening to rap music, and driving back. The 10 minutes I spent smoking and contemplating to my life was the defining moment of my night (or morning). I felt the strongest sense of purpose and self worth I have ever felt. I felt absolutely certain that the rest of my life would be amazing and unforgettable, and that I was equipped to handle any challenge I faced.
I felt the strongest sense of purpose and self worth I have ever felt. I felt absolutely certain that the rest of my life would be amazing and unforgettable, and that I was equipped to handle any challenge I faced.
By the time we drove back it was starting to get a little light outside and we gathered in the living room and talked as the sun rose. When it was fully morning some of us were starting to come down, so we decided to smoke another few bowls, having heard that being high makes your roll get its strength back. I have to say it worked pretty well; I was rolling pretty hard for the next three hours after. At about two in the afternoon, (13 full hours later!) I left the house and returned to my own home. It might have just been the weed, but I was still feeling the effects of the Ecstasy, they were just weaker than before. I went to work around five, still a little E-tarded and running on zero hours of sleep. Thanks to two judiciously timed cans of Rockstar, I made it through my shift fairly easily and without incident. I went to sleep and woke up nine hours later feeling absolutely amazing. I didn’t believe I was still rolling, but it sure felt like it.
I went to work again, and it was over the course of my nine hour shift that I really began to approach a completely sober state of being. However, I was in a very good mood, and honestly the come down was very gradual, smooth, and actually pretty pleasurable – the two days after felt kind of dreamlike and giddy.
I have no idea what made me roll for so long. Maybe I wasn’t rolling, and it was all about my attitude. But even two days later, and completely sober, I still feel that sense of happiness and empathy that Ecstasy gave me. The level of bonding and emotional sharing that I felt with near-strangers, let alone friends, was something that is difficult for a sober person to imagine. Ecstasy really is a “love drug,” and even fully aware of the physical and mental side effects, and the possibility of a severe come down. I look forward to my next Ecstasy experience, although I am definitely going to wait a while so as to make sure my next roll is just as good as the first.
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