DOSE:

1 tablet

oral

LSD

(blotter / tab)

BODY WEIGHT:

120 lb

Since beginning my relationship with psychedelics about a year ago, I’ve become a strong proponent of the mind-opening properties that acid delivers. I feel lucky to say that, after a trip I never thought I would have, I still love this drug.

Three friends and I made the trip to TN for the 2008 Bonnaroo Music and Arts Festival. We are all reasonably experienced LSD users (T having taken it the least at six times), and had for quite some time been planning on tripping Friday, the second night of the festival.

Evening came and went on Friday, and we grew more and more excited at our campsite. We were all eagerly anticipating trying our new “Rolling Stones” blotters, which were a significantly higher dose than many previous trips (an estimated 250 micrograms). At 10pm, we each dropped 1 blotter hit (I took very slightly less than one and C took very slightly more), and headed to the festival’s center to watch the end of Metallica’s show. Joining a massive crowd made me feel uncomfortable before even really coming up, so the four of us walked around a bit. We took a seat on a bench on the side of a locked barn on the grounds, where countless people tried unsuccessfully to get in. About two hours and many Sour Patch Kids after dosing, we headed to a tent to watch MSTRKRFT perform. Two guys sharing a blunt with a crew of dancers waving Canadian flags on either side of them seemed incomprehensibly cool to me, and I imagine, to everyone in attendance.

I thought the girl dancing next to me looked like Nelly Furtado (with no idea if she actually did), and enjoyed seeing her dance, but the guy she was with appeared to be confused every time I glimpsed over, which for one reason or another unsettled me. I found myself too careless to hold on to anything, so C took my sweatshirt as I gave away my glowstick to a very happy crowd member. Every so often I’d glance at people that were leaving the show. They seemed like they couldn't stop dancing, and that unsettled me even more. Rather quickly, people all around me started to look panicked, and I decided I wanted to leave. C, T and I left the tent and emerged into the rain.

We tried to find a tree to sit at by the Comedy Tent. C had one picked out but it didn't seem like we were getting any closer even as we marched on. I realized I was freaking out and told him I needed to leave, fast. As confusing as Centeroo was to me, it was impossible to get my bearings in the current state and I quickly entered a panicked mindset. I was hallucinating endless rows of identical trees, and everywhere I turned, the Ferris wheel was in my direct line of sight. Leveling up Plasma Pong-like electronic music was all I could hear. I grabbed C’s hand as tight as I could and spiraled into a place so dark I had no idea my mind was capable of such thought. I also thought I was in the process of ruining the almost two-year relationship between him and me. I repeatedly voiced how scared I was and that I wanted to go home. Everywhere I looked were fractals and various geometric shapes, and I seemed to briefly experience a sense I don't normally have while walking past a wall designed for people to paint graffiti onto. Everywhere I looked were endless rows of camping tents, flags, cars, and vendor tents. It was raining fairly hard at that point (somewhere around 3 hours into the trip), and I thought I was the cause of the inclement weather. I recognized the Bonnaroo arch, aforementioned graffiti wall, and the infamous grilled cheese stand on the way to our campsite, all of which I considered small victories. After some difficulties finding the campsite, the three of us ended up back at the tent, where I entered the worst part of my night.

I was consumed by mind-numbing fear, the likes of which I can't even really comprehend now, after the fact. At this point I buried my head in C’s lap and thought I was about to die (the feeling can only be described as being at the final step before death, whatever that may be. C later suggested I may have been approaching ego death here). My overwhelming feeling was one of embarrassment and shame, and I knew how embarrassed my parents would be if they knew what I had done. A guy in a scary outfit walked by and I thought he was an alien (I was later informed that a person in a scary costume had actually in fact walked by our campsite at that time). C put on recognizable songs (Transatlantic All of the Above, followed by Porcupine Tree’s Collapse the Light into Earth and a few more All of the Aboves), and slowly I started to improve. We entered our tent, where I cried and cried and begged him not to tell various people. He was calming and reassuring, and even in my state I knew I was in the best hands I could be in. Walking through endless swarms of women wearing tank tops at the festival, my prominent closed-eye visual pattern is best described as “kaleidoscopic boobs.” I knew I was compounding my problems through too much circular thinking, though knowing didn’t help. Aware that I was the reason C was missing two other acts we had looked forward too was certainly no help either. I felt like a small child, too overwhelmed to even change out of my clothes.

We talked about things that were particularly bothering me at the time, and he gradually brought me away from a state of panic. Eventually (Around 4 or 5 am) I felt ready to emerge from the tent. It was as though I was emerging from the cocoon I had spent the last few hours in. Time, thankfully, passed very very quickly, but I felt as though a sinister aura was surrounding me for the rest of the night and into the next day (visuals lasted around 8-9 hours, albeit much lighter as time went on). During our first trip to Centeroo of the following afternoon, my strongest urge was to cry, though I curbed that feeling throughout the afternoon. I wondered if I would ever feel “normal” again. I got my answer later that evening, where my group of four was able to enjoy brilliant performances by Sigur Ros and Ghostland Observatory, and thankfully could enjoy the rest of the festival as though my mind hadn’t completely broken from reality the previous night.

My Bonnaroo trip was a perfect example of set and setting being so crucial for tripping. Having never had a bad trip (before or after Bonnaroo), I learned that too much overwhelming input in an unfamiliar place can be disastrous. Now, I consider that night a learning experience, but will take precautions to ensure it doesn’t happen later on. I am so happy that I still intensely enjoy tripping acid, but now truly understand how powerful it can be.

Exp Year: 2008	ExpID: 72573
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jul 18, 2018	Views: 1,229
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