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A Year After Finding My Love
Citation:   dopedude807. "A Year After Finding My Love: An Experience with Heroin (exp72878)". Erowid.org. May 2, 2014. erowid.org/exp/72878

    Heroin (powder / crystals)
First off let me give you a little insight on my drug use history. I started smoking weed at age 13. Iím 18 years old now. I smoke weed everyday now. I drink a few times a month. I've done acid and mushrooms. I've done zannies, and pins, and somas (my dad is prescribed klonopin and somas for diabetic foot pain.)I ate my first Percocet when I was 14. I used to eat vikes like they were candy, but they never really did that much to me. I also did muscle relaxers. I was addicted to cocaine for about six months, and I mean I was doing it the moment I woke up till the moment I went to bed. I loved coke, until that day in August 2007.

It was this day that I was introduced to my weakness.... heroin. The first time I did dope I only bought one b (aka stamp bag) which costs 10 bucks. The method I used was snorting. I live on the east coast side of the country, so our dope is usually brown to white powder. Occasionally black tar comes through but I prefer the powder. Anyways the first time I did dope I only ended up doing have a stamp bag which is not that much at all. The first time was indescribable. As soon as that first drip fell down my throat I fell in love. The initial rush was intense. I got a feeling in my head that only those who do dope understand, and my body went relaxed and a warm wave rushed over my body. I knew I found something I liked A LOT!!

The next day I was offered to go cop and I of course could not pass this opportunity up because hey I loved dope. So I did it 14 days in a row after this and I was up to snorting 3 bags at a time. I decided I needed to take a little break so I didnít do it for about 3 weeks. After the 3 week break a friend of mine asked me if I wanted to go cop and I said sure because I hadnít done it in awhile. Well this started an 8 month every day binge. I started the binge on a bag a day and by the end of the 8 months I was snorting as much as 6 bags at a time and as much as 8 bags a day. And on days I couldnít get dope, I would hit up friends for morphine, or vikes or percs. During the 8 months I developed a little coke addiction and would snort coke when I couldnít cop. I then began mixing the two completely opposite powders into one big rail and speedballing. On New Yearís Eve I did 6 bags and a gram of coke. I thought I was going to die that night, because I really had to force myself to breathe. One morning I woke up and decided I needed to quit, so I weaned myself off of dope slowly and began buying Suboxone from a friend of mine who had gone to the clinic to get ďclean.Ē After buying Suboxone for a couple of weeks from my friend I decided I needed to tell my mom about my using so I could get a script for Suboxone. The withdrawal from dope is horrible. I get pains in my legs, back, neck and especially my shoulders. Not to mention I get extremely depressed and have no desire to do anything. Well about 5 days after telling my mom I was seeing a doctor who could prescribe me Suboxone. I started off on 16mg a day. This seemed to keep withdraw and cravings at bay. I stayed clean and on Suboxone for 4 months, then I messed up again. I began snorting coke everyday just so I could put some kind of drug into my nose. It was not that same as dope but it still helped. Anyways after awhile I started doing dope again.

This time around I only went on a month binge. My tolerance I noticed didnít really decrease, so the first time I got bags again I snorted 4 with no problem and didnít really even get that fucked up. I had not really been taking my Suboxone; I was just selling them to make extra money for weed and coke. By the end of the binge I was back up to my 8 bags a day. Still though, I had never shot in and the thought began to slip into my mind and I decided I should quit again because shooting was the last thing I ever wanted to do because I did not want to be a stereotypical heroin user. So I was clean again for about a month. (I did it again for the first time 2 weeks ago.)

This time I bought 2 bags and snorted both of them and got semi fucked up, because the dope was pretty good. Well 5 days ago I did something I said I would never do. I shot up. I just didnít get high off of sniffing them anymore and I really wanted to get my moneyís worth. I knew how to cook up my shot and hit my vein etcÖ. and to make things even easier Iím a type 1 insulin dependent diabetic so I have a few extra needles laying around. My first shot was half a bag.(I used the low dose because the dope I had was really strong and could be smelled through the wax paper if you were 5 feet away)Öanyways I cooked up my hit and prepared the syringe. I tied my arm off pumped up my fist and found a nice plump vein on my forearm. Not my inner forearm were most people hit, Iím talking about the spot on top of your forearm where some diabetics test their blood sugar. So I pushed the needle in, pulled the plunger back, saw the blood flow into the syringe and mix with the brown liquid so I slowly began to push the plunger down and as I was pushing down, I released the tie so my blood would flow normally and then it hit me. BAM!!!! The best fucking feeling in the world. Banging dope beats the shit out of sniffing it. I did it two more times that day and ended up banging about 2 bags that day. I did it again 4 days in a row totaling 10 shots, each feeling just as good as the first. But good things come to an end, and my girlfriend saw my tracks and I quit again in order to make sure she didnít tell my mom.

Iíve decided Iím not going to do heroin for a really long time. In the past year I have lost 30 pounds, a lot of my friends, and my self respect. I stole money from multiple family members and friends, just so I would have money to cop. I didnít graduate from high school like I was supposed to. And now I suffer from anxiety and depression. Heroin is a serious drug and many people suffer from addiction. Iím not going to tell anyone to quit, but I can tell those interested in trying heroin not to, because it is not worth it. Iím an addict and I am always going to be an addict. Every day for the rest of my life I will think about heroin and the sweet bliss it induces. Some days I will give in and hit up a shot, but the majority of the rest of my life will be spent dope free. Iíve learned many things from doing dope. Dope made my life better at first, but now it makes it hard. Quitting is hard, but not as hard as some of us make it out to be. So this time around I am going to try and fight the temptation and remain clean. As for those of you users who consider going clean, I just ask you to consider one thing: Donít quit for someone else, quit because you want to. Well I hope this helps anyone who is considering doing heroin. And remember it doesnít matter if you snort it, smoke it, or shoot it, itís still heroin and youíre still using it. Iím going to take advantage of my Suboxone and to those users out there I recommend Suboxone over methadone any day for maintenance.

Exp Year: 2007-2008ExpID: 72878
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: May 2, 2014Views: 23,608
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Heroin (27) : General (1), Retrospective / Summary (11), Addiction & Habituation (10), Relationships (44), Not Applicable (38)

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