Citation: chocolatesauce. "Saving the Magic for Special Occasions: An Experience with MDMA (exp73537)". Erowid.org. May 22, 2019. erowid.org/exp/73537
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Regarding 'Loss Of Magic' on MDMA
I've done ecstasy between 35-80 times, and I'd like to comment on the loss of magic.
When I first did it, I took one pill and found the desire to touch walls was overwhelming. I really wanted to get close to everything and everyone. This feeling decreased over time and now is totally gone, now I just get energetic and talkative- except when I do much larger doses. My normal dose is between 1-3 all night, and never more than 2 at once.
However, I have had two 'ecstasy parties' where much larger quantities were taken. The first one, I took one every 30-60 minutes for 3 days (with no sleep), and for the first 24 hours the magic was back -- touching walls, making starry (glassy?) eyes at my friends (I'm into the BDSM scene, so my friends were also sexual partners, male and female) and generally having a wonderful, magical time. After 24 hours it became less magical as our dopamine and seratonin supplies were exhausted! Then it just became a 'lets go play outside' kind of buzz, still fun but nothing more.
The second time I took 6 pills in a single does (with the same friends), and we had a magical time again. As this was one dose, we were flying for about 4 hours of magic, then the normal come down, which was friendly and pleasent.
Long story short, it seems that (for me at least) the magic is directly related to how high above a 'standard' dose I go. My first few times, I had no tolerance and so even one pill was far more than I needed. Of course I'm not at all advocating heavy users take even more to recapture the feelings--quite the opposite!
I suggest saving the magic for special occasions; it won't last forever and if I were to try to keep it every dose, I'd end up pushing it out of reach forever.
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