Citation: Dechen. "The Mandala Illuminated: An Experience with Salvia divinorum (exp73588)". Erowid.org. Jan 19, 2020. erowid.org/exp/73588
My experience with Salvia was cumulative. The first time I smoked it, I kept reverent thoughts of The Goddess in my mind, and this, I believe, allowed me to access the plantís psychoactive properties without the commonly reported negative hallucinations associated with it.
My second smoking experience took me back to my childhood, while simultaneously keeping me in the present moment, so that I was seeing the world through both my own eyes and those of my five-year old self.
I was seeing the world through both my own eyes and those of my five-year old self.
I was lying on the floor of my childhood home while at the same time lying on the futon in my apartment. This experience allowed me to directly experience the illusion of time, as well as understand that my long-past experiences were as integral to my current mindset as my recent ones.
My third experience was very cool and very intense. My entire reality was completely altered. Behind my eyes (which were closed), every visual I had was completely surreal. I saw ordinary objects, but they were made up of smaller objects, eg: A tree was made up of tiny people. I was seeing the whole world in a completely new light, and it occurred to me that all of my reality was determined by my perception of it. In other words, there was no such thing as finite absolute truth, because no one personís experience or idea could be replicated by another.
My fourth experience was the first that took my breath away, although it wasnít the most powerful one. Until this experience, I had felt the constant presence of my own mind, like walls, around my perceptions, but this time, the walls fell down and I felt connected with the Universe. My ego and reservations had disappeared, leaving me with just the feeling of unity with everything.
My ego and reservations had disappeared, leaving me with just the feeling of unity with everything.
Itís difficult to write about, because it was beyond my capability to describe with words, really, but I felt as if I was in a loop, and that everything around me and within me was both vast and impossibly miniscule. It was like I was filled with infinite universes, in addition to being a part of one.
The fifth experience was even more intense, and throughout the duration of it, I felt and could envision the Mandala. It should be noted that, although I was initially able to conceptualize the Infinite as a result of the Salvia, my meditative state and immersion in the Universe lasted multiple hours. Once I was able to tap that, I could maintain it as long as I wanted to stay there. I felt as if everything was happening simultaneously, as if every possibility was occurring, and that I was part of an immense fabric of space, time, and karma. It really illuminated how vast each individual action was, and how every movement created an interminable ripple effect.
After this, I tried smoking the purple level Salvia, which is twice the potency of red level, because I wanted to see if the feeling of Unity would be magnified. This was not the case. The higher dose, instead of increasing the intensity of my cosmic awareness, merely altered my perception of the world around me. I felt as if I were a doll in a doll house, looking up at my friend, who was sitting for me. Apparently, right after I smoked it, there were a few seconds in which I was crawling around on the ground blindly, but I donít remember this at all. I was unable to speak, unable to understand English, for a few minutes. Keeping my eyes open and experiencing its effects while looking at people or at my surroundings made my trip unpleasant. I felt as if I should be able to interact with people, and I tried to do so, but it was impossible.
When I smoked the purple level with my eyes closed, I wound up in a medieval village at the edge of a dark forest. Dusk was approaching, and the villagers were looking for someone who had gone into the forest, perhaps a child, and had not come out. I looked for the Goddess and began to walk with her at the edge of the forest, away from the village, but my sitter, who was inexperienced with hallucinogens and their effects, touched me, so I was distracted. I was able to tell him not to touch me and returned to my hallucination, but it wasnít the same. I was aware of both realities and wasnít able to fully immerse myself in the vision anymore.
Personally, I prefer the red level Salvia from Salvia Zone for introspective and spiritual journeys. Anything more, and itís hard to guide the trip and I have to rely on a positive mindset to ensure that I wonít end up in an unpleasant situation. It removes my mind from my control, which is not really helpful if I am attempting to use it for guided insight meditation.
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