DOSE:		smoked	DMT	(extract)
		smoked	Cannabis

BODY WEIGHT:

145 lb

DMT, Death, and Life

I have been volunteering at a hospice for the last 9 months. Today my first client passed away at 77. As for his background, his health had been going downhill, and he had lost the will to live after his wife passed away. Two weeks ago he was put in the nursing home, and became so hopeless that he would barely bother to reply to me. He said he was ready to die. I tried to do all I could to make his life more liveable, but death is a part of life, and it should be embraced too.

I had never had anyone this close to me pass away, I didnt know what to feel. I had tripped on 2C-I with this man (he abstained, but we spent an hour in his rocking chairs picking out shapes in the clouds). I was getting ready to walk out the door to visit him in the nursing home when I received a call that he had passed away. I sat for a moment, and decided I wanted to feel everything. I had a tray with DMT crystals from a mhrb extraction. I had never done DMT before, I was saving the event for something momentous. I smoked the oily crystals soaked up in a little cannabis leaf. I held it in forever.

I laid back and exhaled, I wept, I laughed, I wept. Death is an inevitable ending to life, and shouldnt be feared. My friend was ready to pass away, he had made peace with his own mortality. If he found no reason to be upset at the end of his life on earth, I certainly couldnt. In fact, I did the opposite. I rejoiced. He had found peace and so had I.

I feel that DMT helped resolve some of my existential angst. I was born to live, love, and die. I had to do these as gracefully as possible.

His funeral is tomorrow. I have the slightest urge to eat mushrooms before the service, but I think it could offend some family members, or be interpreted as disrespectful to the deceased. In fact it would be just the opposite. I would take them to strengthen a permanent bond between the deceased and I. I would have to be very shortsighted to follow up on tripping at his funeral. Although psychedelics are meaningful part of my particular funerary rituals, my use could very well impede on the traditionally more somber North-American funerary experience. So I will certainly not consume any.

Neither of us has any inkling of what comes after life. Although, I can say I am inclined to think it is a previously uncharted change in brain function as you die..death is the ultimate trip. I cant say if anything comes after that. I can say, I will be pleasantly surprised if I see him on the dark side of the moon.

Exp Year: 2008	ExpID: 74343
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Dec 17, 2020	Views: 677
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