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Losing My Breath
MDMA (Ecstasy)
by Tokinio
Citation:   Tokinio. "Losing My Breath: An Experience with MDMA (Ecstasy) (exp74686)". Erowid.org. Jul 16, 2019. erowid.org/exp/74686

T+ 0:00
1 tablet oral MDMA  
  T+ 0:25 0.5 tablets oral MDMA (ground / crushed)


I have always been one of those people who thought 'well, I wont be one of those people who have a bad trip, I can handle anything', well, as it turns out, I was proven wrong.

I went to a small party at my boyfriends house where everyone was either taking ecstasy or acid and I decided to take 1 and 1/2 pills of ecstasy.

8:35 P.M. - Took my first bean.

9:00 P.M. - I still didn't feel anything really, which is normal since I only took it a half hour prior. But since I didn’t feel anything I split a bean with my boyfriend and I parachuted (crush the bean, put it in toilet paper and swallow it) it.

9:30 P.M. - I barely feel anything, and everyone is already starting to feel the effects. To give myself something to do while I wait, I decide to go with my friend to sell some krippy down the street and then walk to the store; which is a 30 minute walk. We sell the krippy and start walking to 7-11, and by the time we were half way there I got this horrible stomach ache and my whole body felt like waves were washing over my skin. Prior to taking them, I had a stomach ache and felt like complete crap.
Prior to taking them, I had a stomach ache and felt like complete crap.

10:20 P.M. - We are at 7-11 and I can feel the ecstasy crash down on me. I sit down outside and then buy Pepto-Bismol, which I’m not sure would help, but I figured I should give it a try. All I wanted to do was enjoy my roll.

10:27 P.M. - I take the Pepto and we start walking home. The whole time walking home I can feel my body shake and everything get uneasy. This ecstasy was coming on faster and harder than anything I have ever experienced.

11:05 P.M. - I get home and I feel displaced from the world and sick. I get inside my boyfriends house and bring him into his room to tell him how I was feeling. The second I laid on his couch I could feel reality slipping away from me, more and more every second.

11:20 P.M. - My vision is getting pixilated and fuzzy and then all of a sudden the wall quickly started to move 6 feet away from me and at that moment, I started to panic. I started to breath heavy and with every breath I took, it became harder and harder to take in air. My boyfriend held my hand and told me not to panic, and that in a few hours it will be over; just breath in and out and I will be fine.

12:00 A.M. to 6:25 A.M. Throughout this period I had to teach myself how to breathe.
12:00 A.M. to 6:25 A.M. Throughout this period I had to teach myself how to breathe.
Manually telling myself every second “Breath in now, exhale now”. When I did not tell myself to breathe in and out, I would find myself forgetting to breathe, and ending up not breathing for minutes. Every time this happened I would panic and start hyperventilating, making the effects I was feeling before double in a seconds time. With each wave I lost reality, and my mind. I wasn‘t able to be alone, every time my boyfriend had to leave the room for even a second, it felt like my world was going to end and that I was going to die.

One of the worst experiences and have yet to take ecstasy again.

Exp Year: 2008ExpID: 74686
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Jul 16, 2019Views: 490
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MDMA (3) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Health Problems (27), Difficult Experiences (5)

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