A Holy War in My Head
Citation:   Dexter's Lab. "A Holy War in My Head: An Experience with DOM (exp74750)". Erowid.org. May 29, 2009. erowid.org/exp/74750

10 mg oral DOM (capsule)
[Erowid Note: A substance(s) in this report might be identified incorrectly. Erowid reviewers question the author's identification of the drug described. Although the report is included in the collection, the substance might be something other than the author believed it to be.]

I recently experienced an excessively strong DOM trip, and I'd like to contribute to the numerous exhortations to suggest starting off with low doses when trying any DOx chemical. I consider myself to be an extremely responsible, respectful, and knowledgeable person regarding psychedelics, but after 60 - 70 trips on over a dozen different substances, I finally slipped up.

I received two capsules purported to contain 2 mg each. However, after weighing them on a scale accurate to 2 mg, it appeared that the combined weight was in the 6 - 8 mg range, plus an extra 2 mg (at least) which coated the capsules' interior. Since most of the reports online and in Pihkal seemed to indicate that 10 mg was intense but not totally overwhelming, I decided to go all the way. Having been previously teased by two weak DOB experiences (sold on the well-known cartoon Hofmann bicycle blotter paper) fortified my ill-advised inclination.

The realization that I had probably taken too much began to dawn when I was tripping fairly hard a mere 50 minutes after ingestion. I reached the peak an hour after that and plateaued for about 5 hours of unrestrained pandemonium. I have no memory of the most intense 2 hour period, save for about 5 minutes when I was granted access to the crystalline, purely Objective, God's Eye View, which I was completely incapable of learning from in any productive way, being entirely absorbed by the exhausting task of preventing my brain from disintegrating into tiny schizoid shards.

I have heard somebody describe DOC as having a 'throwaway, cartoonish' character, that nonetheless cuts sharp like a knife. This description is certainly applicable to DOM as well. It was very bonkers, goofy, and looney, but with an incredibly serious, aggressive, and manic edge (as many others have observed). The vibe of the movie 'Who Framed Roger Rabbit?' isn't too far off. As the trip wore on, the cartoony aspects faded and the psychotic character became more pronounced.

It's 'personality' developed into that of Yahweh, Jehovah, Allah - an aggressive masculine god of force and power with an axe to grind. The trip was not personal at all; it simply felt like I had unleashed a righteous demon hellbent on making Proclamations and declaring Fatwas, regardless of who was listening. For a good chunk of the trip all of my internal dialogue manifested itself in Old Testament style language. Later on, the red glow of my space heater transformed my bedroom into a Middle Eastern desert, and I found myself thinking in Arabic (without comprehension) as the neon script of that language wove around my head, blocking my vision with the unyielding opacity of its Word. Throughout these encounters with terrible monotheistic energy I felt extremely short of breath, and my heart seemed to be beating at an alarming rate.

As a finale, I absorbed all of the ambient negative energy of the midsize midwestern city in which I live - the violence, poverty, racial strife, and ignorance - all soaked up like a sponge. I responded the only way I knew how, with compassion, but it felt entirely futile. About 9 hours after I had ingested the DOM, the main part of the trip finally began to relent, and after clinging by my fingernails to the rapidly eroding edifice of my sanity for what seemed like days, I was at last able to take a deep breath and begin to survey the damage.

Psychologically, I didn't really notice any problems generated by the trip, probably due to the fact that personal issues were completely unaddressed. Physically, I felt exhausted, sore, my bones cricked a lot, and my pupils were fully dilated for over 24 hours. A friend who came over at the trip's end observed that I looked as if I had been beat up. My main concern was a nagging intuition that I had inflicted significant damage to my 'astral body', for lack of a better term. I do not have a reliable method of getting feedback or information about this component of myself, and therefore have no concept of the extent or nature of the damage incurred.

This was the first time in my tripping career that I felt like I was in completely over my head, and I am certainly no stranger to high doses. If I was only moderately experienced with psychedelics, or if I had done this in a social / party situation, things would have become much, much uglier than they did - extreme psychotic behavior and hospitalization would probably be more likely than not.

However, despite the sustained titanic struggle that served as my introduction to DOM, I would not be opposed to trying it again at half the dose I took. There are aspects of its character that I find thoroughly unpleasant, but I have immense respect for its mind-warping power. The visuals were so thick that my room seemed to be filled with an electric fog that I actually had to push out of the way in order to see where I was going. And the few minutes that I was thrust into God's perspective had qualities of 'objectivity' and 'Truth' that were comparable in intensity and conviction to the same qualities as presented by DXM.

I feel like a stronger but less balanced person after this trip, and just because I survived the hurricane relatively unharmed does NOT mean you will too. In conclusion, I will add my voice to the harm-reduction chorus:


Exp Year: 2008ExpID: 74750
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: May 29, 2009Views: 26,994
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DOM (20) : Overdose (29), Difficult Experiences (5), Alone (16)

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