DOSE:	repeated	oral	Alcohol	(liquid)
	3 tablets	oral	LSD	(blotter / tab)

BODY WEIGHT:

180 lb

Obama had just won presidency, and I was moved to tears by his emphasis on America's greatest assets being truth, democracy, and egalitarian relations (instead of conquest, military force, and wealth). I celebrated all night, dancing spontaneously at numerous parties on my college campus, shouting 'here's to humanity, here's to our mother earth!'. I got blissfully drunk.

Once inebriated and back in my dormroom at 4am, I took 3 tabs on a whim. The duration of the experience happened in this room.

The trip was a rollercoaster: at points I contemplated suicide matter-of-factly (absent of terror and anxiety), while at other points I was seeing a divine eye and matrix overlooking me.

For this report, I want to focus on the 'negative' experience, as I think it highlights the possibility for 'unwanted life-changing experiences.'

As the LSD came on strong, I was staring out my window. I saw beautiful trees, greenery, and thriving life (including groups of students merrily walking), but this beauty was CUT and MARRED by the numerous roads and cars streaking like dirty death bullets through my campus. This led to the realization that I was in the city, deeply desiring a natural habitat but unable to access it.

I have always been a huge fan of human rights. While not religious, I firmly believe in the human spirit. This experience undermined and questioned what I thought to be a guiding force in my life.

I lost my ego to the force of 'human conquest,' strangling every last living beauty from this earth. I realized that no matter what I did, there was no way to escape being a firm member of a destructive civilization. The notion that an environmentally destructive civilization is the 'natural evolution of humankind' became imprinted on my cosmic view.

Since returning to baseline, I have re-questioned my unwanted awakening, and do not plan to change my course in life (guided by love for both the planet and humanity). However, it was a deeply disturbing experience that irrationally stays in my psyche to this day.

Here's some unfiltered, free-associated thoughts I wrote down while tripping. I recommend skimming it, as only a few passages are worthy of keeping, but I am including all of it for a wholistic stream-of-consciousness (note: 'fungus' refers to the exponential human population growth on this planet since the industrial revolution):


'ahhh, a further degree of technological relation. self to self! mode: conscious express uninhibited happening.

flowing through. pulsating. everything is electric! electrified!

To think that this existence, this ability to sit around and take acid, to mobble bobble, all this free time, to think its based off of the industrial revolution....the pillaging and raping of the earth...the species dying, the population rising, two roads cut through like dirt on this computer screen, cringing at my being, two roads cut through what should be all unified grass and green... oh civilization is a strange thing.


Somehow, it really HIT IT when we got MACHINES to start doing the WORK. WooooooW, we can't sustain this shit man! the earth is getting fucked! (resemblence of holding onto consciousness, no but let it go. ability to express clear. functionability. clear. (why delete anything)

up against all this political stuff, yes i'll put fourth my part to change, but i also can't help but feel that i am like a fungus, a colonizing force meant to choke this planet of life yet somehow fully realized and capable of doing it

blaahaahhahhhahahahh!!! fuck the industrial blah. throw up. blah. FUCK THIS CITY.

FUCK THIS CITY. BASED COMPLETELY OFF POLLUTING CARS. UGLY CARS. CARS THAT CUT THROUGH MY SPACE. CARS THAT CUT OFF THE TREES. CARS THAT MOVE AT GREATER SPEEDS, GOING TO DISTANT UNKNOWN COLD EFFICIENT LOCATIONS, than any human being walking relaxed in harmon;soiefjsa;lifh

beauty is all around us.

all around us.

all around us.

psychadelic drugs are worth our time and contemplation.

we need to accept the current levels of global pollution are necessary to sustain the current levels of population. gotta fuck less.

get crazy after while in city.

nasty. gritty. grimey. pollution. blah.. blah...blahh....

hey sustainable technology used for GOOD CAUSES. like this computer and the internet. but wait. i'm connected to the fungus again.

if you might as well just shoot yourself to stop the fungus spreading on the earth and choking it of all its life, then BOOM LIFE IS MEANINGLESS AND ABSURD.

what happened to the music man?

HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY NOT BE THE FUNGUS IN A FUNGUS WORLD!?!?!?!? FUN GUS!!!

well, you can eat local only waht your hands have put in on \produce takt eh tiem to walk places or even bike yeah okay

STOP BEING THE FUNGUS STOP THE FUNGUS STOP THE FUNGUS STOP THE FUNGUS STOP THE FUNGUS STOP THE FUNGUS

bounce bounce bounce!!!
WE GOTTA STOP THE FUNGUS ON THE PLANET ATAAAHAHHH! F UNGUS ON MY SKIN!!! HS;LFKHJASG;LHASDF;LJASG;LASHF;LSDJADSDOIHSA;FLJ!

lost lost lost

wonder how long you'd stay dead in this room? before they discovered your body.

LOST IS THE CITY!

lesser population timeless evolution social quality interaction

simply having fewer people around to get to know, or having to relate again and again in a community to the same peop

when we're all kids we're running around making sense making sense hahahaha IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

looking back over

I WANT OUT! I WANT OUT OF THE SYSTEM!

free everyone in the street

YOU CHOOSE you choose you choose information overload information overload YOU CHOOSE YOU CHOOSE (that sounds exquisitely robotic - FUNGUS!)s

reflecting from a slightly less enlightened? (not inebriated, not intoxicated, no, just wanting to run nonsense and play, throw big balloons against the wall). loss of ego during this experience was to human/population growth, colonizing the planet like a 'fungus.' (industrial revolution is the innoculation (on a human population vs time graph, we start to show unrestricted growth right after the late 1700's to mid 1800's). quite a nasty greater-ego. felt helpless, and therefore figured life is meaningless, as no matter what i do, civilization will continue doing its thing.

BUT THERE ARE WRITERS SPEAKING UP EVERYWEHRE! COURAGE IS COMING FROM EVERYWHERE! YOU NEED TO SAVE THIS PLANET! (ah, returning to self)

but you're surrounded with consumer shit, everywehre, and you're not living according to your beliefs.

you are not living according to your beliefs.

keep pressing as you are, but PROMISE YOU WILL CHANGE my friend, after this degree, you will forevermore LIVE BY YOUR BELIEFS FULLY. (to continue meaningless fungal force is to live DEAD (by golly that's what a fungus!))

uplifting. uplifting.

need to change asap. asap.???

no. its fine.

simply no more acid until fully living according to beliefs?

ideally, this stuff should be taken in a space of FREEDOM!!!!!!!'

Exp Year: 2008	ExpID: 74840
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jan 24, 2019	Views: 1,035
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