Citation: Ecstasy. "Lost Memory on E: An Experience with MDMA (exp7507)". Erowid.org. Jun 19, 2001. erowid.org/exp/7507
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I have never felt more compelled to warn people about anything in my life.
Quick background on me: VERY experienced user of a lot of things, including over 300 trips on LSD. This was probably my 6th time doing ecstasy, and it went BAD. Could have went worse, too. Read on.
I take a pill, wait about an hour, and take the second pill. All fun and games like normal...until this happens. I lose time. Yes, a period of time has been stolen away from me, away from my memory and my life.
On New Years, with my girl: I remember 1:30am, we're having fun. Then, next thing I know, I look at the clock and it's 4am. I ask my girl what happened, where the time went. She starts to tell me exactly what has been happening. Apparently, I was there, awake and talking to her, mixing two conversations. I'd start talking about a camera and blend fishing into the sentence. It was freaking her out, and she didn't know what to do. So she just let me keep talking. She also told me that we danced, went out to the car, and took pictures and talked about many things. NONE of this is in my brain. Who was she talking to? It wasn't me. Sure it was me, but I have absolutely no recollection until I 'came back' at 4am. Now, I feel as though I was robbed of 3 hours of my life.
That was the first time it happened. I thought it was a fluke, but it happened again two weeks ago, and I'm never going to touch it again because of what happened.
This time, not only was my girl there, but also a couple of my friends, too. This time, I 'lost time' at about midnight, and the next thing I remember is waking up in the morning of the next day. Then they began to tell me what happened the night before. They said that I was TOTALLY INSANE. As one would approach me with a pool stick (we were shooting pool), I apparently said to him, 'Nice fishing rod.' And then on and on, I would talk about fishing all night, they said. At one point, they said I yelled at one of them, saying to him, 'Your pole's hittin'. That's a fish, go set the hook!'. And then they started having fun with, my girl would say, 'How big is your fish?' and I would reply, telling her it's 4 pounds or whatever. These people talked to me while I was in this state. I was obviously hallucinating and was 'temporarily insane'. One of my friends became very scared, because I have guns and I am capable of serious hell if need be. And now that I think about it, what if I woke up to find all these people dead, by my gun? I'd have no memory of it, but what if I could have done something like that?
Would that be the exact definition of 'temporary instanity', and would I be innocent of murder?
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