Brownies
Cannabis
Citation: Insane Sleep. "Brownies: An Experience with Cannabis (exp75339)". Erowid.org. Oct 15, 2011. erowid.org/exp/75339
DOSE: |
1.5 slices | oral | Cannabis | (edible / food) |
BODY WEIGHT: | 180 lb |
A few friends and I decided to make bud brownies for the first time, using half an ounce. 7 grams of some grand daddy purps and 7 grams of some afghani kush, I used potent bud because I was afraid it wouldn't affect me...
I was wrong.
*Ding* the brownies are done, the plates are waiting, and the potheads were anxious. We all took a relatively equal amount, mine being the largest since i doubted these 'brownies'. Being the idiot I was, I also finished half a friend's piece.
The wait began. 20 minutes, nothing. 30 minutes, I'm pretty high. 40 minutes, fuck yeah. 50 minutes, what the fuck did I do to myself?!?!
I noticed I was the only one having a bad trip. We left in the car to go smoke a joint. Unaware I could get any worse, I hit the joint 3 good times thinking it would calm me down. Nope, my brain could not process the music from the radio. I could not control my body, it was a nightmare.
Everything and everybody looked like they were rewinding super fast, leaving a trail of blur behind. A big wall was keeping me from thinking clear, I could only think about one thing at a time, literally. If I thought about an apple, I only thought of the word. Not the color, texture, or even taste.
I started doubting I would ever be normal again, I thought I was gonna stay insane, trapped in this world of anxiety. I was dropped off at my house after telling my friends I was just feeling tired and high. I tried laying down to sleep but I couldn't even do that, my room was moving back and forth, inside and out.
Without notice, I vomited on the floor. I couldn't even feel the vomit come out. It just came out like water. I began thinking about all the wrong I had done in life, everything I never savored, everything I never appreciated. For I truly thought I was going insane. I called my girlfriend, whom I love very much, and began apologizing for all the times I hurt her. Frantically I began telling her I was going to die and that I love her. The anxiety was at an all time high at this point, that I asked a friend to drive me to see my girlfriend because I seriously thought I was gonna lose my sanity. He took us back to my house.
I was scared because I knew it was possible to become chemically unbalanced in the brain, and thats what I thought had happened. When I stared into my lovers eyes, I saw double. She began looking unfamiliar and disoriented. I began forgetting who I was and every memory I ever had, my heart was pounding. I was 100% sure this was the end of my life, I started wondering what happens when you die. I started to think you didn't go anywhere, you just blackout without knowing it, fading out of existence.
As I lay next to my girlfriend I hold her close in my last moments, hoping she would forgive me for dying. My pride kept me from crying but inside I had never felt more torn apart emotionally. To this point it had been about 5 hours.
For thirty minutes more I felt this feeling of death, and then it slowly left my mind and body. I knew I never wanted to go through that again, and I would never want anyone else to experience something so traumatic.
I was partially glad I had gone through this 'adventure' because I looked at the world differently from then on.
Every chance I get I tell my girlfriend how much I love her and appreciate her, I'm just ashamed it took a near death experience to start valuing my life.
Every chance I get I tell my girlfriend how much I love her and appreciate her, I'm just ashamed it took a near death experience to start valuing my life.
Exp Year: 2008 | ExpID: 75339 |
Gender: Male | |
Age at time of experience: Not Given | |
Published: Oct 15, 2011 | Views: 13,418 |
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Cannabis (1) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Overdose (29), Glowing Experiences (4), Difficult Experiences (5) |
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