DOSE:

50 mg

sublingual

MDMA

(powder / crystals)

BODY WEIGHT:

58 kg

There I am, up front and close to the DJ. The party is steadily progressing towards the bittersad, ferocious climax where everyone is too spaced out to properly interact on an intellectual level with the rest of the people.

I dance, and suddenly the world dims and increases in intensity at the same time. Oh lord I think, me too? A voiceless voice is heard, emanating from inside me, and I detach from my surroundings. While the music thumps and pounds on relentlessly I see others around me dance in slow-motion, lasers sweeping at half-speed over their twisting, raging bodies. I close my eyes and let the drug -- or is this my subconscious delivering guidance? -- take over. The movement of my limbs orchestrates thoughts, information streaming into me. We have hurt each other, years back, perhaps centuries back, before we were born here. But there is always choice. I can choose to stagnate, to cradle the darkness that was there with me all the time. These emotions of fear are empty, they have no backing. In surrendering to the moment, to love, I wish the best for her and myself without any egotist complications, without fear. I choose not to hold back in our relationship anymore, in any relationship I have with every single person on this planet!

I open my eyes to look up at the DJ, the controller, God incarnate.

He / it knows and so do I. There is no good or bad, no right or wrong anymore. There is just fear and love. Letting go versus not-letting go. And then, I let go. The dance obliterated me.

Exp Year: 2008	ExpID: 75556
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jul 11, 2019	Views: 577
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