DOSE:

smoked

Cannabis

A few months ago in May, I decided to give weed a shot. I always heard funny stories and was incredibly curious. I didn't really know how to inhale correctly and so the first time, like many people, I barely got high. It was a pretty cool feeling. I felt like I was slowly melting as I walked. And I got really tired. After that I kind of just ignored it until that following November.

A girl who I had really been into had broken up with me. It felt like the end of the world. I realized that I smoking can ease some of this pain. I called up my friend, who had done drugs pretty much everyday, to ask him if I can smoke with him. We smoked a blunt, drove around, and then smoked another. It felt like a dream. Every step I took felt like a thousand years had past during it. And everything was just perfect. Everything. So after chilling and having some good times, I realized I was happy and out of my depression state. I returned home and went onto myspace (this is a little sad). I went to that girls profile and saw all these pictures of her. Still stoned, I smiled at the picture. Everything was going to be alright.

Then the unexpected happened. A week after I got high I kept getting into fights with this girl. There was so much confusion and hatred between us. I felt so damn compelled to putting an end to my life. I realized that relief was a feeling, and could not be felt if dead. This calmed me for a day when I started thinking about how others viewed me. I thought maybe I could give them relief from me being in their presence. I started smoking escaping all these thoughts and being happy as much as possible. I smoked ever day for a week straight. And kept going...

This to me has been a big chapter in my life. I soon rid of these suicidal thoughts and lived for the happiness weed had brought me. I now have another girl, a happy life, and the good thing is I've stopped smoking. I'm proud to say my life is fine without drugs. I still however, look back and wonder if I had died. I realized suicide isn't worth it. A drug that is said to ruin lives had SAVED MY ASS. And I'm happy for it.

Exp Year: 2008	ExpID: 75823
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Nov 6, 2020	Views: 795
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Cannabis (1) : Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Retrospective / Summary (11), Small Group (2-9) (17)