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In and Out
Citation:   fastnhard. "In and Out: An Experience with Opioids (exp75847)". Nov 12, 2015.

      Alcohol - Beer/Wine
I started smoking weed, trippin on shrooms and acid on a regular basis at the age of 16. That same year I found the true love of my substance abusing life-opiates. I started out by stealing vicodin and percocet from relatives or buying it here or there. When I found oxycontin however there was no going back. I would snort a 40 before school and have those lovely nods all day and then another 40 in the evening. This went on until my arrival at college, then I found out what withdrawals were really like.

Being in a new city with no connections I kicked the habit, for the first time. After two years at college my drinking really got out of control so I dropped out and moved back home. During the next 6 months I managed to stay away from the pills by snorting massive amount cocaine and then diving head first into the fucked up world of daily crack smoking. Eight months and $15,000 worth of credit card debt later I went to rehab for the first time, that lasted 7 days and I was back on the run. After that I began to use opiates again. Three more years of sickness, stealing and occasionally selling my ass on the street. Then I heard about the methadone clinic and I thought it sounded like a pretty good thing. A 45 minute drive from home and $91 a week. My parents were very happy to help me out by paying for my doses as I had been using heroin and oxy IV-style for the past 2 years.

It seemed too be good to be true. I got nods in the morning for about two hours after my dose and the nausea I sometimes felt was easily curbed by smoking pot. For the first 6 months it seemed I was getting my life back together. I was able to work without being sick and manage to save a little money, but old habits die hard. An old friend got out of prison and started selling crack again. Once I started doing dope runs for him it was all too easy to start smoking again myself. I made it in the methadone clinic for another six months then the shit hit the fan. My boyfriend couldn't stay away from the needle or the crack pipe for his probation and got put in prison. I had been charged with 9 counts of felony theft myself and I had started prostituting again.

My parents decided I needed rehab, again. The program I entered was a good one in my city, 5 blocks from my house and I never knew it was there. The switched me from methadone to suboxone. That lasted 3 months and then I went to jail for a month. D.T.'s in jail are hell on earth because you are completely helpless and the cops aren't gonna do shit for you. After that I went back to rehab for another 3 months.

And now here am. Clean for 7 months, except the beer of course. I regret everyday that I didn't work the methadone clinic to my advantage because it really is a good system. If not for my legal troubles I would still be on it to this day. I think about getting high now and with methadone that was never a problem. Methadone clinics are a way for people to break the cycle of addiction to prescription meds and have a normal life. Clinics educate addicts on why they are addicts in the first place and offer a better quality of life for those who can't do it on there own. The counselors are great and the people you meet when your standing in that dose line don't judge you because they are you. Why oh why did I fuck that up!

Exp Year: 2007ExpID: 75847
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Nov 12, 2015Views: 1,576
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Methadone (166) : Various (28), Addiction & Habituation (10)

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Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the authors who submit them. Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.

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