DOSE:

insufflated

Cocaine

(powder / crystals)

BODY WEIGHT:

130 lb

Ugh. Where do I even start?

Well, during this winter break, my friends were doing Cocaine and they asked if I wanted to. It was about 10pm, and my curfew was at 2am, so I was worried that it would last a while, not knowing much about Cocaine. I asked how long it would last, and they said maybe 30 minutes max. So, I said 'ok' and did some lines.

I loved it. And the next day, I did it again. And the next. Took a break, and then did it again about a week later.

Well, long story short, I really enjoyed it, didn't have any major come downs, and didn't feel addicted or anything.

So, I stopped for about two weeks because I simply didn't have any. But then on a Friday, my friend and another friend bought $80 worth of Cocaine. That night, we binged for a few hours, just doing it more and more.

And, I loved it of course. I did a ton of lines, whereas up until that point, I only did like one or two lines at a time.

So then, on the Saturday, they had a little left, and we ended up buying $30 more. We binged once again. I did sooo much. Just line after line after line. Again, I loved the feeling.

But then I finally experienced the 'come-down' that I hear mentioned so often. That night, all the way until Sunday, I just felt terrible. I just wanted more and more cocaine. Yet at the same time, I knew it would cost a ton of money (already, my friends spent $90 in two days, for three people.) And all night, and all through even the next day(Sunday) I just craved it. I felt lost without it.

But, I knew that I shouldn't. I knew that Cocaine is highly addicting, and I realized that if I feel this way after only doing it 6 or 7 times, imagine how worse it would get. I also don't have a high paying job, and I am only 17 and in school. I don't want to spend my entire paycheck on this.

So, I said NO MORE. I knew it wouldn't be worth it.

So then on Sunday night, I went back over to my friends house. They offered Cocaine, and I kindly said 'no, I'm not doing it anymore.' And, I didn't. :-)

But then I noticed the behavior or my friends.(By the way, it was me and two other friends.) I asked my friend if she wanted a cigarette, and she said 'no, not right now, I don't feel like it', when prior to that, she had been complaining about one all day. It seemed suspicious. She went in her car and was on the phone, and then turned the music on. I asked her why, since we were all chilling outside. She said 'it's been on, I am charging my phone' but this is not true. I clearly saw her turn it on.

Then, lo and behold, she pops out her Cocaine and makes like 8 lines. (Even though she had already had several lines before I arrived.) and she just sat there and did them all.

This made me feel hopeless for her. Though it doesn't sound too weird, it just seemed different. My friend was very quiet that night, and all that seemed to be on her mind was doing more Cocaine.

So, the next day, we have class. She doesn't have a first period, but she has a Second. I have her in second period. So, she comes to second period, and she is sniffing her nose and she is NOT AT ALL herself. I asked her if she had done Cocaine, and she said 'yeah.' This just made me burst into tears, because I couldn't believe it. I mean, I had never really had a problem with Cocaine. But seeing my friend just think about it all the time made me realize that she is addicted.

30 minutes later into the class, she puts her head down and just looks terrible. She tells me that she wants more and more. She said that she can't stop thinking about it. This was when I finally realized that perhaps my friend is addicted, or getting there. So, I blew up(calmly), and said 'Do you want to spend your entire paycheck on this, and have nothing else in life? Do you want to feel depressed like this every time after your little Cocaine high goes down?' I reminded her that in school, she can't just do a line whenever she wishes. She will have to go hours without having one, and I asked if she wanted to feel this way all the time. I asked her a few questions, and she said 'no, I don't want to be like that' and I interrupted her and said 'well, that is the path you are taking, but you can change it. Of the several times you have done Cocaine in the past few weeks, I have done it with you almost every time, except the past two times. And I am stopping. You should too.'

Well, she said that she wouldn't get anymore after that. And, she hasn't, but it has only been a day. However, today she told me that she's not stopping Cocaine, but just doing it less. But, I don't think it is that easy. When a person has a major comedown, and all they do is crave Cocaine, it is hard to say no I imagine.

So now I find myself worrying about this all day. I find myself spending hours reading about Cocaine online, and asking questions. I find myself driving by my friends home to make sure she is home.

I know this hasn't really been about me, as much as it has been about my friends. I am seeing my friend go downhill because of this, and when I was doing Cocaine (though for only a VERY short period of time), I woke up feeling like crap, especially after the last binge. I barely did it, and very a very brief time, and the next day after I majorly binged, I felt like crap, craving more and more. Imagine doing that for years. My friend has had major comedowns too, feeling depressed and being able to think about anything but Cocaine. And she has been a recent user too!

I will NEVER AGAIN do Cocaine, no matter how good it was for me. As they say, opposites attract. I feel GREAT for a brief 5-30 minutes, and feel HORRIBLE for hours. So, it can be good, and bad at the same time. And the only way to make it 'good' again, is to do more, which will end up causing bad as well, because it costs a ton.

Exp Year: 2008	ExpID: 76255
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 17
Published: Mar 10, 2020	Views: 825
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Cocaine (13) : Retrospective / Summary (11), Addiction & Habituation (10), Hangover / Days After (46), Second Hand Report (42), Relationships (44), Not Applicable (38)