DOSE:

1 hit

1P-LSD

(blotter / tab)

BODY WEIGHT:

45 kg

My brother was supposed to leave me alone, but at the last moment he said he had to stay home as he didn't have anywhere to go. I didn't want this to ruin my plans, so decided to still take the trip (although it did have a major influence on my experience). I also noticed the effect of many other external factors as well, like people I hang out with, things I‘m reading, my feelings, and of course the music, although unconsciously there must've been many more.

First I wanted to meditate for a while, but was quite excited so couldn't really get to it. I put the new Furious cd (Supremacy) and took the trip at around 10PM. Immediately after taking the blotter I started feeling cold and shivering and my heart started to race. I usually experience that when coming up, but here it was so immediate that it had to be a placebo effect, mostly due to excitement and a bit of anxiety because of my brother's presence. A bit later I started to feel the substance going through my body, through each vein, which goes along with the change of focus from the body to the mind. Those feelings are pretty usual for me, but in order to describe the whole trip as accurately as possible I feel it should be mentioned If only for the sake of people reading who have possibly never taken acid. After the substance is integrated, those effects disappear and the focus shifts to the mind and/or spirit.

I've tried to write some important points down, but found it quite hard and felt it was more important to stay focused on the music, so most of those things I've written are my impressions from after the trip.

After the Furious cd, I put the new Osom cd on (Midnight's shared blossom) and it started to play just at the moment where my experience was the most intense, here there was a duality as the trip became more intense due to the intensity of the music, whilst the music’s intensity increased due to the trip.

First I started exploring with the lights for a while. Initially tuned on the UV black light and lay on my bed looking at quite a scary poster with my head facing up. I felt so comfortable in that position that I found it quite hard to move, but knew it would be less beneficial to my trip, so I made myself. The mere UV light (even without tripping) let's us discover many things on the psychedelic posters that aren't easily noticeable otherwise (like the Theologist by Alex Grey where the line of energy coming from the third eye and the bulb of energy surrounding him becomes much clearer). However, the backdrops that were the brightest and most fluorescent were the ones that have the least to show (which can be compared to full on music and which precisely came from the period when I listened to it), These pictures, of mushrooms, Krishna and one of the ॐ sign, weren’t something I wished to be distracted by so I turned the light off. There was one poster, the Celestial tree by Venosa which I did intend to explore, but I felt it could wait till another time.

Afterwards I went to the toilet and had to turn the light on. On the ground I noticed many little beings, some insects, but also some beings we usually don't notice, I thought I was seeing even the tiniest bacteria and particles. When I returned into my room and turned the light on, I noticed the same thing on the floor and on the bed. Is our vision really so sharpened under the influence of LSD or are they just an expression of my fears? On the one side, they were frightening, I wanted to clean before lying down again, but on the other side they were an expression of such a rich invisible world, living side by side with ourselves and I thought they shouldn't bother me, I should let them live and accept them as a necessary part of our universe. However, those little animals also show something else, something about myself. Whether it is that I'm trying too hard to get rid of things I find impure in my life, that it isn't the right time yet and maybe I should be accepting them, or alternatively that there are things I find impure that I should precisely get rid of or it could also be both, depending on what it is about.

I didn't want to get distracted by the particles again and wanted to concentrate on the music mostly, so I turned the light off, this time for good. That's where the chaos and internal, but very real visions started. First of all I noticed how every little beat and every little second in the music is important (there are many subtleties we hardly even notice, but the track would loose it's meaning if it weren't for them) and how it's the same in life, every little movement we make makes a change. That's why we should always be careful with the decisions we make, although it isn't so clear how to decide. I think it depends on our level of consciousness. People who are more conscious can rely on their intuition in order to make decisions, but people who aren't there yet should mostly base their decisions on the reason, since they're very likely to confuse intuition with instinct.

In the music there were also things (I don't really know how I perceived them) that were telling me that I was trying to go too deep, that I was accessing forbidden information, but it wasn't like the government or society trying to hide those things from us, it was pointing more towards the definite changes it could cause, like in the track 'Only wish to warn you' where the word 'only' is really ironic! It was like reaching a point of no return, since excessive use could take me to such a level of advancement/awareness, that nobody would understand me anymore and they'd take me for crazy. But does it matter? Yes, because “they” may deem it necessary to treat me with pharmaceuticals to make me become 'normal' which is the opposite of enlightened. Although it was a warning, I know I’m not quite there yet, there's still a lot to work on from the outside. Passage from Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield that I read the day after, that perfectly relates to that feeling : 'Once we try to talk to someone who is operating in normal consciousness, or try to live in a world where conflict is still happening, we get knocked out of this advanced state and fall back to the level of our old selves.'

I was also experiencing that all the bases, all the roots I was hanging on to were falling apart. I saw myself flying, trying to hang on to something, anything, but it didn't work. There was nothing I could relate to that could save me from it. That's about attachment, how we always feel the need to find security and someone to reassure us, to protect us, by making links in the material world that give us the impression of that security, but in the end of the day we can't really rely on them and they're nothing but an illusion. In the end we're abandoned to ourselves and our spirit. When I wanted to get out of my room, being scared to be seen by my brother, I felt that I was trying to hide between my four walls, but that it was useless, since my spirit was far beyond those walls, actually it knows no bounds if I'm able to set it free, which I should, but don't know how. Or it isn't the right time yet...

I was also seeing some scenes of war and fights, but can't remember much about them.

Another thing I remember while listening to the Osom cd was that at each thought that I created in my mind, there were little men who had quite scary, big, green faces and evil laughs, that were making fun of me, defying my thoughts, making me question myself much further about each one and take nothing for granted.

I was thinking that I was going too far, receiving too much information which I won't be able to integrate afterwards , so I wanted to stop, calm my spirit down, but I knew the experience would've been incomplete if I didn't finish the Osom cd, so I listened to it till the end, then put the Magnum Opus track 'Only wish to warn you' afterwards. I had a hard time finding the cd, (as its writing is so unnoticeable), which was really disturbing, such a powerful music with such a discreet cover. I listened to it once and then I was afraid that my brother would wake up and come to tell me to turn off the music, so I put my headphones on. I found that that track was so complex that I should listen to it on repeat for a while in order to reach a deeper understanding of it. While listening to it I had some similar visions as before and also some family and everyday scenes, where the little men were laughing again and pointing out how everything those people do was wrong, how they were fooling themselves, living a lie. People need to be afraid in order to understand those things. However, while listening to that track, I was also reassured due to the sample 'sending you my love, straight from my heart, sending you all the love I have for you'. I'm not sure if that's the right purpose of it or if it's being ironic again because it’s an emotion we shouldn’t really hang on to, but since it's such a short part, it also shows that that moment when somebody's there to comfort us is as impermanent as everything else and thus an illusion (Buddhist influence). I feel the sample is also relating to universal love and not just a love towards one person we should hang on to, that's also an explanation.

All of those things I've discovered where things I already knew, but it had to make a deeper impact for me to integrate them, although I'm not really sure how to go about it. I hope I'll figure that out or be able to follow my intuition in order to discover it. I'm sure it'll already help me understand music much better which is already very important.

Exp Year: 2008	ExpID: 76425
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Dec 16, 2016	Views: 3,803
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