Citation: Tristan M. "Freaky Dream: An Experience with Salvia divinorum (exp76598)". Erowid.org. Oct 12, 2013. erowid.org/exp/76598
I'm writing this down so I don't forget what happened and how profound an experience I've had. O brought up some Salvia when he came to visit me in Whistler, we've done it before at Savory island, so I was expecting to have the same sort of experience. A feeling of heaviness, of not being able to or want to talk. What happened was entirely different and completely unexpected.
It was Saturday night and we planned to do Salvia after dinner. Oliver was with me and I said that he went first on Savory island so I'll go first this time. O bought 40x extract form the 'urban shaman' in the city (I still love that name), we got comfy on my bed with pillows a-plenty.I packed a full bowl, we divided the gram into 1/8ths and I did an entire 1/8th to myself. I smoked it from my Bombay sapphire bottle turned water bong, with a butane torch lighter and took in the entire amount at once. I exhaled immediately and coughed really bad, I thought I screwed it up and I'd have to take another one because I didn't hold in the smoke at all really. I remember giving the pipe to Oliver, then laying on the bed and presto! The effects were immediate
. What I wasn't prepared for was...well...all of it, but in particular the transition from our world to the unseen dimension was so dramatic that it was, for me, completely terrifying yet fascinating. Then I went away, far, far
away. I'll do my best to explain it in writing, in this reality but I can't come close to doing justice to the experience I had but I'll try.
The transition as I explained began with my mouth opening, wider and wider like I wanted to get out of my body, like I'm not this body and I never have been. But my mouth opened and opened all the way back until it felt like I didn't have a jaw and my head kept folding over and over into its self. It was such a forceful sensation, like I was falling and falling, that was the last feeling I had of being in a body. Then I saw Oliver (in my vision), and he was like a thousand miles high and he was pulling me up to him, such a feeling of motion, and when I reached the top I folded over him and became him and then I was at his feet again. And the whole loop began again and went on...forever! I had the very real sensation that the reality as I knew it is not actually true, that what's really going on is this other existence that we're all sharing, and it was frightening to have this very 'real' sensation that how I perceive my world is not what's really happening at all.
I felt like I became everything at once, a ball of energy pulling away from me as a person and living in infinity. Time left existence and the entire experience felt like it never would end. It was fascinating and indescribable to have this feeling of the absence of time itself. I used the analogy of a plastic bag and a little ball. Say our reality is the plastic bag and I'm the ball inside the bag. If you try to pick up the ball while its inside the bag, the bag follows the ball and is pulled with it. Does that make sense? Everything was being gravitated forcefully to this one point that I can only describe was me as an entity. I could move around in this energy but all existence was being pulled towards me.
I was shown a city, but it looked like a toy model and childhood characters from tv shows were there. I remember Big Bird was there and Mr. Rogers but I was being pulled away from this model. A hand that wasn't mine reached out to the city, and pulled it back like drawing a curtain and suddenly I got it! Everything was pretend! I saw a man controlling everything behind this curtain. This realization stands out the most for me because I was so terrified to find him there. He was just staring at me and I was staring at him not moving, frozen and frightened. Like there's been some master plan since the beginning of the universe. Like I caught him in the act and I wasn't suppose to see that ever
and everything I know or thought I knew about my reality was totally turned upside down. Then Oliver looked at me and said 'this is it, it's really like this.' It felt like the matrix, like now I know something and I can never forget.
I felt like I died and if I died tomorrow that's what it would feel like. Being one with everything. Finally realizing what's real to a certainty I can't explain properly. It's quite a thing to have the very real sensation that you're not in your body anymore, and that you're so insignificant and part of something much larger than you could ever imagine. And I'm so sure and definite about what happened, not like a dream but more defined.
All this lasted about 10 minutes in known reality time, but it felt like I had been gone for 1000 years. Oliver told me what he saw. You know the movie Contact? With Jodie Foster? When she goes through the portal and is gone for a long time and travels through space, but all the witnesses saw was her going straight through? My experience was like that. Oliver said I started laughing or half laughing and muttering to myself and I put my arms above my head and kind of curled up. He said I rolled over the bed onto the stairs and started wandering around. He helped me up and sat me down again. I can't recall any
of that. The experience was terrifying for a time. I was gone, physically, I was out of my mind and body! But it was so different that I was afraid to go there, so I would periodically come back to my body and see Oliver sitting there looking at me. I remember saying 'don't smoke this', 'don't do this' and I would fall away again like I was being pulled through a tunnel. I was fighting the trip I was on and so afraid of going there. We're all afraid of what is not understood and I definitely didn't see this coming! Oliver said my eyes were closed so I guess I was seeing this as a dream through my 'third eye'. All I know is I was gone for a long time. And when I came back it was gradual. I think it took me about 20 minutes to come back to me. To piece together my known material existence. I felt my body, you know tapping my arms and chest and face and was like 'ahhhh I'm me still, I still have this body thank god!' Like an old friend you forgot about for years then realized they're still around. I was so grateful to be back. Things started to make sense again. I wanted to talk but I couldn't. I had a smoke after, which helped a lot. The smoke was grounding and comforting. It helped to bring me back.
So now it was Oliver's turn. He said from what he saw, from his point of view this was something he didn't want to do. I explained, as best I could, that it was
terrifying but fascinating and wonderful at the same time. When I said 'no don't smoke this' that was me trying to fight where I was. So he got prepared mentally and packed another 1/8th in the pipe. He took the butane lighter and put it to the bowl and pulled the switch...nothing. He tried again. Nothing. The lighter was out. It was such a sign for him. That this plant almost chooses who to take away. We got a regular lighter for him but it wasn't the same. He went somewhere but was so distracted with me and the experience that I had that he couldn't get it out of his head. We plan to try this again in the near future. The potential here, with this tiny plant is infinite. I can only imagine the knowledge that was learned and shared by these shamans who have been doing it for centuries. This plant is truly a gift and should not ever be taken lightly, and must be respected for it immense power.
I got the sense that there is so much more to us and everything, and nothing is as it seems and it's all happening right now! We are everything, not here or there, not living in time anymore, but in another reality all together, and it's so huge. It was truly a 'freaky dream' and I'd like to do it again, but I don't know if I'll ever get to where I was. All this from a plant!!! I still can't believe this actually happened, and it does truly feel like it really
happened to me. That was a trip!!
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