Citation: pain in the rear. "This Feels Weird: An Experience with Diazepam & Hydromorphone (exp76602)". Erowid.org. Apr 13, 2017. erowid.org/exp/76602
I had surgery for a rectal fissure and much else today, and I was prescribed dilaudid for pain. I have had nineteen surgeries in my life, and this one was the least unpleasant of the lot. The reasons why might be surprising.
My first surgeries were all in the early sixties, and they were terrifying beyond belief (they involved ether as an anesthetic, which is a bad idea for young children.) This early experience (seven times in a handful of years) made hospitals realms of terror, and doctors - especially surgeons and anesthesiologists - dungeon-masters, demons, bringers of nightmares and torment.
This continued to remain the case, until today. Matters first started with Valium, which I received a prescription to take both the night before and the morning I was to go in. While I have never used street drugs (I'm autistic, and I have weird reactions to a lot of things), Valium is one of the drugs that acts as intended. In modest doses, it's hard to tell anything is happening.
I was not given a 'modest' dose: ten milligrams orally that night. I slept far better than usually the night before surgery, and that dose was still working on me when I took the second one, along with my usual regimen, which included clonazepam and neurontin. I took an extra one of the latter, so by the time I arrived at the hospital, I was amazed.
I was not only not frightened out out of my mind, but I felt WEIRD, and the person who was accompanying me found me a very pleasant companion, unlike my usual self. So far, this sounds boring, I know.
Once checked in, however, I was given a THIRD ten milligram tablet. By this time, the doctor could have used a chainsaw upon me, and I would not have minded much. No 'giddiness' or nothing, just utterly imperturbable, so much so that I did not mind the beginnings of surgery, and I even helped hold the mask on while I was anesthetized.
Fast forward: I wake up, and I'm still very much under the influence of the drug. No panic attack. I felt weird and strangely pleasant; Valium makes me an absolute gentleman, and exaggerated politeness is the rule when under its influence. (I had been given more of that blessed stuff while in the OR while
my posterior was being worked on.)
By the time I reached my short-stay room, however, my rear was beginning to hurt. I was given a very small pill, this being two milligrams of Dilaudid, and then later, two milligrams of valium. The time between the dosing of the two drugs, however....
I was having the horrors. I could close my eyes, and hear the cawing of ravens, and the room was awash in this smelly yellow wine, and the swish of the pendulum was so real that when that somewhat larger pill came, I devoured it with much gladness, even though my bottom still hurt from the surgery. That meant one thing.
Another two milligram pill of Dilaudid - and then it got WEIRD.
I was not trashed, nor did I have nightmares, nor did I feel much beyond a desire to sleep. I would close my eyes, and the strangest geometric shapes would manifest behind my eyes, much as if I were living within a kaleidescope, and I when I opened them, these odd colors would persist for a fraction of a second. I gave my 'minder' the money needed to fill the prescriptions, and when she returned, I looked at the vials.
More dilaudid, and more valium. No horrors, thankfully, but my rear is starting to hurt again. I'll need to take another of those STRANGE pills again in short order.
I cannot wait to have gastric bypass, as that means TWO DAYS of feeling WEIRD while I stay in the hospital.
I'm thoroughly glad I was not giving oxycodone. I'd either be asleep, or I'd be lying on the floor while the room spun in a slow and nauseating fashion. I'm doing disgustingly well, in fact, and I hope my next surgery goes as well.
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