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Fear Of Death (The Worst Kind)
by tomgg
Citation:   tomgg. "Fear Of Death (The Worst Kind): An Experience with Cannabis (exp77263)". Erowid.org. Jan 6, 2018. erowid.org/exp/77263

1 oral Cannabis (edible / food)


The worst experience in my life, but I feel like I have to share it with someone. I am an on and off pot smoker for about 2 years now. Nothing could have prepared me for the trauma of eating an innocent looking large sized brownie. My dealer cautioned me to try a third first. I was working the night shift as a security guard in a location I do not want to divulge at the moment. As a security guard I get the building pretty much to myself and there is no one there.

Anyways at around 3AM and out of boredom I decided I could use a quick high, well I had around 5 hours till morning. I figured I could eat 3 quarters of this pot brownie. Before I knew it, I had eaten the whole thing. At first I was dissapointed with the effect, which I expected to come on right away. About 40 minutes into it, I can feel a small buzz and a bit lightheaded. Then I noticed I couldn't feel my arm. I lay down on a couch listened to some music. Next thing I know my heart is racing and I am feeling very uncomfortable. I turn off the music, and I sat there panic and fear flooded my brain, like somebody turned on the panic switch in my head. I could even hear my heart beating and churning of high pressure blood flow in my body. I was extremely thirsty and I kept close to the water dispenser refilling my cups with ice cold water.

I was freezing and boiling at the same time. Then the hallucinations started hitting me. Imagine you're on a tv channel, and that image on tv starts swirling at a hundred rpm. I started feeling intensely dissociated. Everything I looked at wasn't connected to anything I was accustomed to. Like the chair wasn't a chair, it looked foreign to me. My phone looked foreign. Then I started worrying I was going crazy, and that I was going to stay this crazy forever. I looked at the wall and I felt like I was going to die and be absorbed by the white paint... I was hallucinating...I got up from the couch and walked around. I noticed something very odd, that the marijuana highs would come in waves, with a racing heartbeat, then subside a bit. Then start again. I kept walking around because my body was so hot from the high blood pressure and the adrenalin I was feeling. The light in the room made my head hurt and everything was pulsing and had a dark reddish hue to it.

I know from experience that when things are red, you're eyes are red. That made me panic I was going to lose my job. And if my employer saw my red eyes, it would be very embarrassing.... I called my dad, and told my brother to come with him to take me home, and my brother to drive my car home. It was the scariest ride in my entire life, every second I felt I was going to crash in the car or the brakes were going to slip. And it felt like he was going 100 miles per hour. I told my brother to pull in by the side of the road because I had to vomit. It was the most vile and throat wrenching vomit I can remember, all chocolate of course (I was throwing up the brownie). In hindsight I should have barfed it up right away, but I don't know how to induce vomiting at will.
I come away from this experience a changed man. I am very appreciative that I am alive. I am now scared about dying, or getting high ever again. I am actually worried that dying is like a pot brownie death high. I am probably going to need therapy . In any case, I don't think I will ever smoke pot again.

Exp Year: 2009ExpID: 77263
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Jan 6, 2018Views: 872
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Cannabis (1) : Difficult Experiences (5), Bad Trips (6), Workplace (51)

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