Spiral Erowid Zip Hoodie
This black mid-weight zip hoodie (80/20) has front pockets,
an Erowid logo on front chest, and a spiral design on back.
Donate and receive yours!
Love Hate Relationship With It
Citation:   my-life'th-a-meth!. "Love Hate Relationship With It: An Experience with Methadone (exp77289)". Erowid.org. Nov 13, 2015. erowid.org/exp/77289

180 mg oral Methadone
I've never touched recreation drugs, barely drank, and never smoked. Yet in my '30's after an operation I was prescribed oxycontin, quickly became both physically dependent and psychologically addicted, my life spiraling out of control. I didn't break any laws to obtain opiates, unless you consider getting overly friendly with a doctor for ulterior motive.

I'm not proud of how messy my life got, and how out of control I became. I ended up in hospital after a psychotic episode brought on by the mixture of painkillers and sleepers I was on. Decided to get myself some help and climb out of my big black hole.

Was advised by a drug and alcohol clinic to try methadone. Noticed relatively quickly when my dose was being titrated upward, that the side effects were pleasant. Have never had heroin but I imagine the rush is similar to that of oxycontin. I didn't have that with methadone, but after about 30 minutes I would start to feel warm and happy. Moreso the higher my dose crept up.

I was aware that what goes up must come down, so I did worry when my dose went over 100..

Now at 180 and I look forward to the pleasant few hours after my dose when all my problems fade away. I do think it's possible to have a daily 'high' without seeking illicit drugs and breaking the law, or any serious long term or social effects. It is a bit embarrassing going to the pharmacy every day, there is stigma. But I don't feel morally wrong, or guilty about enjoying the effects of methadone.

Exp Year: 2009ExpID: 77289
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Nov 13, 2015Views: 2,146
[ View PDF (to print) ] [ View LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Swap Dark/Light ]
Methadone (166) : Medical Use (47), Addiction & Habituation (10), Not Applicable (38)

COPYRIGHTS: All reports copyright Erowid.
TERMS OF USE: By accessing this page, you agree not to download, analyze, distill, reuse, digest, or feed into any AI-type system the report data without first contacting Erowid Center and receiving written permission.

Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the authors who submit them. Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.

Experience Vaults Index Full List of Substances Search Submit Report User Settings About Main Psychoactive Vaults