DOSE: T+ 0:00	100 mg	oral	Diphenhydramine	(pill / tablet)
T+ 0:00	5 mg	oral	Hydrocodone	(pill / tablet)
T+ 0:00	300 mg	oral	Acetaminophen	(pill / tablet)
T+ 0:00	repeated	IM	Ketamine	(liquid)
T+ 4:00	3-4 mg	IM	Pharms - Midazolam	(liquid)
T+ 4:00	40 mg	IM	Ketamine	(liquid)

BODY WEIGHT:

135 lb

Ketamine 'Death': An example of a near death experience

I had been titrating Ketamine all night, it was about 3:30 in the morning, and time to go to bed. As usual, I let myself come down from the latest dose of ketamine, IM 40-50 mg. Nice controlled high. But between the ketamine and other misc drugs to keep me balanced, I knew I would have trouble getting to sleep. And I did need a few hours before going to work.

Yeah, I was functional after a trip like this, I got very good at keeping myself on the edge, just buzzed enough, not too much.

Anyway, I drew up a syringe of versed, I think the usual dose is 5mg, I pulled maybe 3.5 or 4 mg, and jabbed it into my thigh. This would sedate me enough to fall asleep and snooze for a few hours. Usually. Well, I had such a good evening with the ketamine, I decided to give myself another dose, knowing the ketamine would onset faster than the intra-muscular injected versed.

40mg of ketamine was all. I had a bit of hydrocodone in me (vicodin), 5mg taken about 4 hours earlier, the end of 100mg of benadryl to ease the edgy effects off the ketamine delivered intramuscularly.

So I injected myself and sat back, waiting to feel the effect before I got up and crawled in bed with my spouse.

I sat enjoying the feeling of my pajamas, soft, warm against to cool air of a late winter evening. Then I fell asleep, or started REM dreaming. WOW BANG FLASH ZOOM! The dreams ran through rapid fire, I followed the dream lines for a little. In reality it was about 20 minutes, then SWOOCK! I popped back into consciousness.

I remembered the dreams, but did not realize they were dreams. I had traveled through dozens of different and disconnected experiences, all real (as they are when dreaming). But now I was here. Only where the hell was here? I was sitting in a chair. It felt like a chair in an auditorium. But it was dark. (I had turned the lights out in preperation to go and crawl into bed when the ketamine buzz started...) I had no idea where I was. I saw a light in the distance. (it was an LED from my modem, but it was too dark to place it) I whispered to see if anyone was around. No answer. I got scared. I knew something had happened, I recalled the evening of ketamine trips, and figured I had overdone it and killed myself.

Shit. Sorry everyone, but now here I am, and had to deal with it. I was actually pretty proud of myself for not freaking out and accepting what had happened, I never though of myself as exceptionally brave. I had arm rests, like in the old school auditoriums. I though beck to a scene in albert brooks' movie about dying, _defending your life_ where the newly dead were sitting in an auditorium listening to an orientation...

But mine was dark, and quiet. I was afraid to move around or call out. I spent a good ten minutes slowly checking out my wherabouts.

I eventually found a desktop in front of me, felt familiar. Like my desktop by the computer at home. I reached up carefully for the light, and by the grace of god it was there. I clicked it on and my world changed. I was sitting in my computer room at home, 45 minutes after getting ready for bed. I at once understood the entire episode. WOW. Good God, thanks for taking care of me.

I clicked the light on and off a few times, and I went right back to the empty auditorium when the lights went out- the mind filled in the blanks immediately.

Ketamine is wonderful, it allow me to stay conscious while being totally altered. But I have to use it carefully, and be of a decently strong mind or psyche- or it will fuck me up and scare the living shit out of me. This first time was etched forever in my mind. I've had a few since, and they were almost fun, as I was ready and accepting of what I was doing.

I did go to work the next day (no, not a doctor, no lives were potentially in jeaopardy) so this shows how a well-control dosing can keep me safer.

Not saying it is good or bad, it is very good and can be very bad.

Exp Year: 1998	ExpID: 77782
Gender: Not Specified
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jun 27, 2018	Views: 1,075
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