Cacti - T. pachanoi
Citation: moniorojo. "Cloud Gods, Shadow Gods: An Experience with Cacti - T. pachanoi (exp78151)". Erowid.org. Apr 16, 2010. erowid.org/exp/78151
Description of mindset & setting:
On holiday before going back home after 3 years in Peru, eager to rediscover psychedelics after a long time of almost no psychedelic use
Near Sacsayhuaman ruins, in Cuzco, Peru, 3500 mts above sea level
Last meal had the night before, ingestion in the morning
Before the trip:
I contacted one of the tour operators in Cuzco about a San Pedro session and we set a date and time. They took us from Cuzco to a house near Sacsayhuaman and after a brief intro they served us (there was me and 2 north american tourists) a full glass of a green stuff, It didn't taste that bad but the consistency of it was similar to what you get out of your nose when you have a cold...yuk!
The trip I - Coming up:
After about an hour we feel it so we go for a walk near the ruins. The two north american guys walk very fast, I go slow. I see one of them puke. The other one's far away already, I think he's also puked. I put cologne in a tissue and smell it which helps keeping the green stuff in. After a while I start noticing the clouds. Oh my god... They twist, breath and move around a lot. They seem to have hands and are reaching after me. I freak out for a moment and start walking away from the menacing clouds just to find another flock of them. I take a deep breath and lay down on the ground. 'You are just tripping' I say to myself 'relax'. I look to the clouds again and they are not after me anymore...They are going to fight each other! Two huge batallions of clouds start a cosmic battle. After a while they sign a peace agreement. Beautiful. I spend the next few hours walking around watching the clouds change (they fight each other, they try to reach me, they fight the sun, they fight the earth, there seems to be something protecting the earth though) Sometimes I just cannot stay up and lay down.
It's difficult to find a comfortable place: the sun burns, the shadows are cold and wet. The earth is a very rough place inside a very rough universe. We take life for granted but it isn't. There's a fight involved in being alive. At times I just stop having visions (or paying attention to them) and just laugh on the ground wondering what the tourists around Sacsayhuaman are seeing and thinking. How cliche their knowledge of Peru is and will be. Just the way they want it. I'm somewhere else... Some other times I feel terrified by it all. Man/Hurricane clouds attack again.
The trip II - death, breaking through to the other side of the mirror:
I'm exhausted. I think it might be a good idea to close my eyes. Wrong. I'm not myself anymore. I'm not anyone anymore. I don't exist. The earth passes through me like a spear. I'm dead. I feel like the passage at 'the sheltering sky' when the main character dies. I get up, go back to the house. It's difficult to find it, I have been walking around for hours. I ask an old indian woman. She seems to know what I'm going through and shows me the way. At the house I try to have a shower but it's no use. I'm still dead. There's no stopping it. After the shower I can't even put my clothes back on.
The trip III - the other side of the mirror, shadows:
I lay down in a bed. I look at the ceiling and walls. The shadows of the clouds come through the windows and doors. It's not morning-time anymore, the sun will set soon. The time of the shadows is here. I spend the next hours in bed watching the shadows change in pre-Colombian shapes, snakes mainly. My body feels exhausted and twists as if possessed by some devil or more precisely, some reptile or snake. I feel some healing going on but it's not a pleasant healing. It hurts to be healed. There are things inside me that don't work well. They need attention. The americans come back. They seem ok. Either they are experienced trippers or puking helped them come down faster. I come down slowly by eating some cookies and having some tea.
The trip IV - I'm alive:
I finally get dressed and go outside. The sun is setting, the clouds are still in full swing but my body feels ok. I'm alive. I survived the cosmic battle. I'm happy. When the sun finally sets the visions stop. I walk down to Cuzco and catch a bus. The stars seem brighter than ever and I don't know why every constelation seems to have the shape of a cross. I thank god.
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