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Life Is a Scary Thing
Cannabis, Amphetamine (Adderall) & Salvia divinorum (20x extract)
by Pat
Citation:   Pat. "Life Is a Scary Thing: An Experience with Cannabis, Amphetamine (Adderall) & Salvia divinorum (20x extract) (exp78199)". Erowid.org. Nov 15, 2023. erowid.org/exp/78199

Repeated hits smoked Cannabis  
  30 mg oral Amphetamines (capsule)
  1 hit smoked Salvia divinorum (extract)
  1 cig. smoked Tobacco - Cigarettes  
One fine evening, my fiance and I go to a friend's house, where a few of us gather almost every weekend. Two of my friends and I all have marijuana and its use is continuous throughout the night, which it usually is at this residence. My fiance calls one of my classmates and asks him about his adderall, which we proceed to go pick up. They are 30mg capsules and I take one of them.

Then, we return to the house. I immediately resume smoking pot, joining the circle in which the bong is getting passed around. Eventually, my fiance goes to his house and returns with some salvia. The boys start smoking it while two of my girlfriends and I sit back and let them enjoy themselves. There was 5X, 10X, and 20X salvia and before they run out of twenty I tell them I want to hit the bong. I pack the bowl and my friends set it ablaze while I inhale, not too deeply, so that I can hold it in longer. Having gotten a good hit, I pass the bong to the left and let my best friend hit the rest of the bowl. I'm still holding my breath when I feel the creep up the back of my neck that tells me I'm about to experience some salvia.

Before I even exhale, though, I'm in a world of shit. I don't recall blowing the smoke out of my lungs. The next thing I know the world is a different place, a scary place. I'm just looking at everything so differently that I'm having a mental breakdown. I really believe I went crazy for the approximate 8 minutes I was sitting there.

First, incessant chatter breaks out in my head. It's my own voice, and I'm scared, "Just think of your perception of life on a coordinate plane moving on the y-axis, constantly moving up." For some reason, it felt like I was moving perpendicular to that, as if time was suddenly moving along the x-axis. It seems as if everything has mass, even the empty space around me. I can see colorful cross-sections of everything. Everything including my insides. Everything has a designated area in my life and the space around me feels so heavy that I can't move, all I can do is sit there in wide-eyed wonder and look at those around me.

My fiance realizes something's wrong and moves a little across the circle, just enough so that I can reach him. I grab his arm, but I don't say anything because the noise inside my head is so loud there's really no reason to add anything. The world is like a frame-by-frame movie now, so that when people move, layers of them are left behind. I myself have to move through each frame of life, and it is eternally exhausting.
The world is like a frame-by-frame movie now, so that when people move, layers of them are left behind. I myself have to move through each frame of life, and it is eternally exhausting.
It never ends and it takes a lot of effort, even though I'm not moving. I wriggle to try and speed the process up. I try my best to move through these frames. I realize how tedious life is. And if something practical had been close by, I could have committed suicide. This is taking forever and it's all so scary to watch, the space around me is almost alive, always pressing on me. I tell those around me that they're in for a long ride. Life.

When it's over, I get up immediately to leave the room, that scary space, and smoke a cigarette outside. I return to normal and talk to people. I ask them what I said, because it seemed to me as if I didn't shut up the whole time. They said I sat quietly and calmly just about the entire time. I'd said nothing besides one phrase: "I'm a crazy woman."

I am mind-fucked for the rest of the day. I keep to myself a little more than usual, just thinking about my experience. It's because I never distrust any of my trips. They're always so enlightening. I consider this one more than any of the others, mostly because it scared the hell out of me.

Exp Year: 2009ExpID: 78199
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Nov 15, 2023Views: 37
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Cannabis (1), Amphetamines (6), Salvia divinorum (44) : First Times (2), Combinations (3), Difficult Experiences (5), Small Group (2-9) (17)

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