DOSE: T+ 0:00		oral	MDMA
T+ 24:00		oral	MDMA

BODY WEIGHT:

125 lb

I had only recently started using ecstasy on a weekly basis. Once a week seemed like a decent amount, not too much and with a good break in between each trip. Then I got tempted into “dropping” two days, back to back. I didn’t think much of it: “okay, I’ll just be a little more cracked out Sunday.” And I was just a little more tired, a little more brain-dead.

However, Sunday night was a nightmare like I’ve never experienced before. I was lying in bed with my boyfriend, almost asleep but already in a nightmare. I was in an auditorium with flashing lights. There were little girls surrounding me. They were all looking at me smiling. Their eyes were perfect black circles, dark and deep, sucking me into their world. I couldn’t take it anymore and pulled myself out with a gasp of fresh air. I woke my boyfriend up and told him to turn the lights on for me, that I was having a nightmare. He told me everything was okay and to go back to sleep. The second I put my head back down on the pillow I was sucked back into the dark. The girls with the extremely dilated eyes smiling at me, digging into their hearts. Their faces started to swirl as they passed their black hearts over to me. It was so horrifying but I couldn't stop staring at them. They were terrifying and loving at the same time, almost like the drugs I have been using. I woke up to my boyfriend shaking me, telling me to wake up.

I told a friend about this experience and he pondered whether it might have been my mind and body telling me to stop using ecstasy so much, that I was imagining “Kandi Girls”: strangely happy girls with dilated eyes, pouring their love out to me but in a way that might hurt themselves. It may have been my mind telling me that ecstasy could only make me happy to a certain extent. After that it, the happiness would be false, a strange, dark happiness that, like the Kandi Girls, could lead to injury of my mind and body.

Exp Year: 2009	ExpID: 78322
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jul 10, 2019	Views: 673
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MDMA (3), Dreams (85) : Hangover / Days After (46), General (1), Unknown Context (20)